


Our Fallen Angel

by TrickyNici



Series: Our Fallen Angel [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/M, Flirting, Friendship, Modern Girl in Thedas, The Fade, Thedas, trying to fit in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-29 16:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 68,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3903172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickyNici/pseuds/TrickyNici
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when a woman sat in front of her TV, full intentions of playing her favorite Bioware video game...</p>
<p>Ashlyn Maddox is a simple waitress, in a dusty 'going nowhere' town in the middle of no where. A simple waitress that enjoys gaming in her free time. When she sits down to start a new play through on her game, something strange happens. She gets sucked inside the story.</p>
<p>Things immediately spiral out of control when she comes to, face to face with the people who have always been a work of fiction to her. It'll take everything she has to convince them to believe her story. Let alone trust her. When they find out that she knows the outcome of their trials to come, Ash is given the title of the Inquisitions Prophet. </p>
<p>Ash befriends the Inquisition companions while finding her place in this world she's only experienced through a controller. The attention of two specific men, however, make her time in the magical world of Thedas worthwhile...</p>
<p>And terrifying.</p>
<p>(Cullen/OC story that's been stuck in my head for ages! I just hope you all enjoy!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And I'm Rift. Rift fallin'

_Darkness._

_Flashes of colors, mostly greens and blacks._

_Screeches that sounded like nails on a chalk board all around me._

_My eyes kept fluttering as the shadows moved close._

_Closer and closer they came._

_Reaching with icy fingers._

_One got close enough to rake a sharp nail down my arm, drawing blood._

_I thought I was going to die at the hands of the screeching._

_Then there was a bright light._

_Yellow, warm and home._

_It sent all the screeching away._

_It brought warmth to my unknowingly chilled body._

_**“Return to the Living”** a soft voice whispered to me. _

**_“Go to your new home, Ashlyn.”_ **

There was shouting, and whistling but I knew it hadn’t been from the place I had just been. It sounded clear and real. I tried to open my eyes but the light was too bright. Resting my head back, I felt the pang of icy cold on my neck, shivering.

“Is this even possible?” A voice asked as shadows flashed from behind my eyes.

“How did she survive that?” Another asked, and I felt something get pressed to my forehead. A hand maybe?

“What is she wearing?” It sounded like it could have been the first person talking but, I couldn’t be sure. My body felt heavy all the sudden, making my head swim. I tried to talk but nothing came out.

“Someone get a Healer!” An arm moved under my neck while another went under my legs and just as I was lifted into strong arms, everything started to fade to dark. I just hoped the screeching wouldn’t be in my dreams.

~ ~ ~

“Wake up, prisoner.” The barked order jolted me awake but I stayed still, blinking my eyes. Prisoner? Was this a joke of my brothers? He must have found my spare key and wanted to go do something. But that wasn’t Jared’s voice. It was a woman’s. And she was pissed.

“I said, wake up!” This time, the command came with a swift kick to the side, flaming my whole sore body with pain.

Hissing, I sat up on my elbows. I blinked once, twice before I was able to take in my surroundings. It was damp and cold in the stone structure that was lit with fire torches. I caught a figure moving in the shadows with their face just out of the light. My head cocked to the side in question, I recognized that armor but, how? From where?

“Cassandra, please-” Another voice that wasn’t the mean one said from the corner and I immediately turned to see two more forms, lounging against something. I shifted my body so I could sit up, finally noticing that my hands were chained with ancient wide-band cuffs.

“I’ve had just about enough of people we don’t know falling out of Rifts from the Fade.” Mean voice growled and took a step forward.

When I saw her face I gasped, scooting away from her. She might have thought it was from fear of her but, it was the exact opposite. Her armor. It was familiar because it was the armor of the Seeker. Her face. She looked exactly like Cassandra Penteghast, Seeker of the Chantry and the Right Hand of the Divine. This place. I knew it because I’d seen it in my play through of-. I shook my head, not allowing myself to even consider what could be going on.

“It’s strange that it has become a common enough occurrence to be a nuisance.” The other form in the corner piped up, voice thick with a velvety accent. She sounded just like a certain Antivan ambassador. There was no way. _No way_.

“Cassandra?” My quiet question came out more as a croak that sent me into a coughing fit.

“How do you know me?” Cassandra took a threatening step forward before crouching to my height, arms resting on her legs.

“Leliana? Josephine?” I spoke to the two in the shadows.

The first to step forward was the Left Hand of the Divine. Leliana’s arms were crossed, a single eyebrow raised in question. In her usual hooded garb, her face was chiseled emotionless as she looked at me with a calculated gaze. The click of heels gave away Josephine before she even stepped into the light. She tugged absently at the corner of her yellow and purple Antivan dress. It took her a moment to look at me but, when I finally confirmed that it truly was one of the well-known advisors, I dropped my head.

“She seems to know us all.” Leliana commented.

“Oh my God, I must be dreaming.” I mumbled to myself, shaking my head.

“This is a dream, right?” I said more loudly, looking up to see Cassandra still close to me. She looked real, and so did Leliana and Josephine. The intent staring I was doing to the three women was making them nervous, Cassandra stood and moved away from me while the others took a step back.

“But it has to be.” Continuing to talk to myself, I felt my body start to shake.

“You all aren’t real.” I looked back up at Cassandra, finding her glancing between Leliana and myself.

“She seems to have hit her head.” Josephine said quietly, sounding scared at my ranting.

“Or she’s just crazy.” Cassandra scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her weight on her hips. I was half waiting for a disgusted huff to come from her.

“I am not crazy.” I told them, rubbing my face with my hands the best that I could.

“Where are we?” I asked suddenly, looking around again.

“I’m not tell-” I interrupted her before she could bark at me anymore.

“Are we in Haven or Skyhold?” For a heartbeat, all three women froze, looking at one another and then back at me.

“What is this Skyhold you speak of?” Leliana asked, taking a step forward with her arms still crossed.

“So that means the dragon hasn’t attacked yet.” I said, mostly to myself but Cassandra was standing the closest to me and heard me despite my whisper.

“What dragon?!” She squawked, swooping down to my height again in one movement and got her face right in mine.

“You better start answering me right now, girl, or Maker help me I’ll-” Her threat was stopped before it could get any bloodier than necessary by a new voice.

“Cassandra, enough.” It was a man’s voice. And it was familiar too- surprise, surprise.

“Let the girl speak.” With the clanking of armor, I heard him move from the door behind me and around to where I could see him.

 _It wasn’t possible_.

No way in Hell’s high water was this happening. First, I woke up here. Next, I get interrogated by a royal family member of Nevarra. And then my Inquisitor shows up, the first and only human male Inquisitor I ever created. It lightly crossed my mind that I had been about to play his story when I ended up here.

“I know who you are, Archer Trevelyan, Herald of Andraste.” I said shakily before he could introduce himself.

Standing taller than all the women in the room, his hard lined and serious looking face was framed with a light shadow of facial hair and bright green eyes. All the characters I created had the same green eyes. I just theorized that since the Anchor was bright green, like Rifts, then it might have changed their eye color as well. His black hair was shaved close to his ears and was long on top, swooping to the side a bit. It went well with his perfectly tanned skin and strong muscular body.

“The only way she could know so much about us is if she is a spy.” Cassandra’s comment but my on edge and I jumped to defend myself.

“I’m no spy.”

“Then prove it.” She ccountered, leaning forward slightly and glaring harshly.

“Do I look like someone trying to fit in here?” I motioned to myself the best way I could. All four people took in my appearance. Thankfully, I was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a tank top with an over shirt. Usually, I play my games in my pajamas. That would have been embarrassing.

“Because I’m not from here.” I continued.

“You don’t seem to have an Orlesian accent-” Josephine mused, looking at my outfit more critically than the other three.

“I’m not from Orlais either, I’m from a completely different world.” You could have heard a mouse skitter across the floor at the silence that filled the stone room. They all looked at me like they didn't believe me. And I couldn't say that I blamed them. It would have sounded asinine if I was in their shoes.

“I was in my room, playing Dra-” I stopped myself. How could I tell them that I was playing a game that let me look into all of their lives? That’s right, I couldn't. “Playing this game, when all the sudden, everything went black.”

“Then there were voices, screeches and touches. I remember one of them actually touched me.” Looking down at where I remembered the claw touching me, my stomach sank when I saw a trail of blood. It had been real after all.

“There was a bright light, it was warm and it spoke to me.” I kept going, keeping the shaking from my voice the best that I could.

“What did it say?” Archer pressed, crouching down to my height. He wasn't trying to intimidate me, like Cassandra had. He was doing it so he could watch my features. To see if I was lying.

“I don’t remember. I just know it was a woman’s voice.” I answered.

“A woman’s voice? In the Fade?” Leliana asked, looking at Cassandra.

"The Fade? I had come from the Fade? And the only like to the Fade and the world of Theadas was Rifts. Just the thought of it made my heart stop.

“I fell out of a Rift?” I asked, not caring if I sounded scared at this point.

“From the middle of the sky, into a tree and hit every branch all the way down.” I sucked in a breath and held it until I felt my anxiety ebb slightly. No wonder my body as so sore. The whole time, Archer was watching me, taking in my every feature.

“Remove her shackles.” His request made every eye in the room fall on him. I’m sure my eyes looked about to bug out of my head as I gawked at him.

“But, Herald-” Cassandra fumbled for her words, still reeling from shock.

“Please Cassandra.” Archer turned his face to look up at her, asking in a calm tone that immediately made her uncross her arms and reach towards her side.

“Very well.” She mumbled as she flung a single set of keys at Archer, who caught them expertly from the air.

 

I know they didn't believe me but getting out of the dungeon was a good as start as any.


	2. Meet Commander Cullen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A walk through Haven leads to trouble, as Ashlyn goes toe-to-toe with the Commander of the Inquisition.

            “What?” I asked, nearly jumping out of my skin at the hand that was resting on my shoulder.

            Turning around, I had to look up to meet Archer in the eyes. I don’t think I could ever get used to the fact that a character I made in a load-screen was standing toe-to-toe with me. And looking at me with a raised eyebrow and the start of a smile.

            “I’ve asked for your name several times.” He said politely.

            “I-I’m sorry! Ashlyn, its Ashlyn.” Stumbling for words, his half smile turned full blown grin.

            “A beautiful name.” Archer commented, continuing our walk around Haven.

            Snow had just fallen the night before, the night I apparently fell from the sky, dusting everything with powdery white. Not many people milled about at this time of morning, when the sun was just barely showing over the horizon. We took a left from the main Chantry doors, passing the apothecary’s hut and where Solas usually stood near the steps leading to the pub.

            “What did you do every day, in your other world?” Archer had asked me several questions about the world I lived in. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was curious, or if he was still testing me to see if I was lying.

            “Well I had a job, I worked in a small restaurant.” When all he did was raise an eyebrow at me, a trait I didn’t know could be so common in someone, I clarified.

            “I served food and drinks to paying customers.” Archer looked forward again, nodding his head.

            “Ah, a barmaid then.” I opened my mouth to defend myself, tell him that I wasn’t some hooker that served booze to already drunken men. Quickly, I bit my tongue while looking at him from the corner of my gaze. This man had been the only one that wanted to offer me freedom, I had to at least try and play nice.

            “Something like that.” I stated as we passed the huge bonfire set just in front of the main steps that lead out of Haven.

            I stopped to gaze back up at the Chantry building. The sun was rising more by the minute, and more than half of the tall building was illuminated in morning sunlight. Taking a deep breath of the cold, fresh air, I let it out as a sigh. It was then that Archer realized I wasn’t following him and was standing at my side.

            “This is Haven.” Motioning my arms out, I dropped them to my side as I sighed in content again.

            “You seem amazed.” His chuckling comment made me look up at him, seeing his tanned cheeks a bit red from the cold. I’m sure my nose looked like Rudolph’s then, as much as it was trying to drop mucus everywhere.

            “I mean- I know what this place is. It just still baffles me.” I commented, wrapping my arms around myself. Archer had placed a warm fur lined coat over my shoulders and lent me a pair of leather boots before going outside. My toes were numb but at least the rest of me was warm.

            “What does?” He asked, quirking that eyebrow again.

            “That the Inquisition starts here.” I stated, smiling in astonishment, making his face flush with color before turning on his heels and starting to head towards the stairs that would lead us outside the main gates.

            “Who all have you recruited so far?” I asked, taking a few stumbling steps to catch up to him.

            “Solas, Varric and Cassandra, for now. But we have leads to a few others.” I nodded, figuring he must not have gotten far in his hunt for more companions yet. I only just started his play through, after all.

            “I’d start with the Strom Coast as soon as it becomes available, there’s an invaluable ally there.” I advised, bristling with excitement at the Qunari that would start to turn this place upside down.

            “And how do you-” He started to ask but I shook my head, smiling shyly. I was already on thin ice. I didn’t need them thinking that I was better off locked away in their dungeon because I was spouting off their every move. Like some crazed prophet.

            “Let’s go look at the recruits, shall we?” Archer thankfully changed the subject, steering us right when we finally exited the large wooden gates.

            My heart sped up, as did my steps as I tried to appear calm. Seeing the recruits meant I would get to meet the leader of those troops. The Commander of the Inquisition forces. Commander Cullen. I took in a deep breath and released it quickly, attempting to hide the stupid grin that threatened to surface. In every other play through I had done with a female character, I’d always romanced the Commander. And before I knew it, I was standing just a few feet from the pauldron wearing man.

            “Lady Ashlyn, this is the Commander of the Inquisition forces, Commander Cullen.” Archer introduced me but, I was too busy gawking.

            The first thing I looked at was his lip scar, then his light stubble from not shaving for a few days. His skin looked smooth to the touch, with perfectly shaped eyebrows. Even his hair looked perfectly swept back from his chiseled face. He was all strong jaw and smoldering light brown eyes. Cullen’s silver armor shined in the morning light and his signature fur pauldrons looked soft as silk. I thought for sure my knees were going to buckle out from under me. I was living every fan girls dream.

            “So this is her, is it?” The first words Cullen ever said to me were clipped and cold. It felt like his words had slapped me across the face, making me physically take a step back.

            “Seems word has reached the training grounds then.” Archer stated, taking notice of my retreat and partially placing himself between myself and the Commander.

            “Don’t forget, it was my men that spotted her.” Cullen continued, not taking his eyes off me as he scrutinized my every move. Even with his eyebrows bunched together and a scowl on his face, he still looked breath-taking.

            “Where did I fall from?” I asked, trying to sound confident.

            “Just over the hill there.” Cullen’s gaze finally broke from mine and he half turned, pointing to a path that I knew lead to more wilderness.

            “Mind if I go look?” I said it as a question but, started towards the direction without waiting for an answer. I stared defiantly forward, not looking at the Commander who was so opening watching me.

            “I will send a few men to accompany you.” Cullen waited until my back was to him to say anything, making me turn to face him. “You can never be too careful.” I didn’t appreciate what he was insinuating.

            “I don’t need babysat; I can take care of myself.” I threw over my shoulder, starting to walk towards the path again but only getting two steps forward before he spoke again.

            “Yes, well, to be frank, that’s the least of our worries.” This man of my dreams was seeming more like a nightmare by the second.

            “I’m no spy, Commander.” I whirled around, ready for a fight. The Commander had closed the space between us and was nose-to-nose with me, making me angrier.

            “So you say.” His icy tone left goosebumps on my skin. I didn’t need this. So I did the only thing I could do: Turn away from him, whipping my long hair around my shoulder and taking off up the trail into the woods. I felt my hair whip his armored chest as I turned.

            “Halt!” I ignored the Commander’s booming command. I wasn’t a damn animal, or one of his recruits. I was a human being, feeling too overwhelmed by everything to even worry if a wolf from the woods would eat me.

            “Wait!” When I felt a hand wrap around my upper arm, I ripped it free before the grip could get any tighter.

            I took a few stumbling steps back, putting distance between Cullen and myself. I was actually surprised he followed me at all.

            “Must you run away like that?” He asked, not even sounding winded from running with all the extra weight of his armor.

            “You don’t have to follow me everywhere.” I yelled, not meaning to. But I was angry, and when I got angry I tended to raise my voice.

            “How do we know you won’t run off and report to your leader?” Cullen growled back at me.

            “How do you know I won’t run off at all?” As I said it, I threw my hands from my side. I then dug my fingers through my hair, pulling at the roots as I looked around.

            “I was dropped here, from a portal. I wasn’t sent by some evil God to do his sneaky bidding.” I started pacing, my hands still in my hair as I tried to piece things together.

Cullen watched me the entire time. Waiting for me to crumble. I turned my back to him and took a few collected breaths. I couldn’t lose my mind yet. I had to figure out how I got here, since the people here obviously didn’t bring me here.

            “I took quite a tumble, didn’t I?” When I finally spoke, my tone was calm.

            “The reports say that the portal was taller than that tree.” I glanced at him behind me long enough to see where he was pointing.

            “Holy shit.” I breathed, seeing that it was the tallest tree in the whole forest. How had I survived such a fall? “No wonder I’m so sore.”

            “Thanks for walking with me.” I said suddenly, before I could stop myself.

            “I didn’t do it to be nice.” Glancing at the man giving me the cold shoulder, I saw that he was watching me. Like he had been since the moment he laid eyes on me.

            “I know.” I sighed, raising my face to the clouds. “I appreciate it all the same.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to leave me comments! I looove feedback!


	3. The Inquisition's Prophet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash feels she's ready to earn her keep. And there's only one way to do it..

            I’d been in Haven for over two weeks, and I couldn’t get enough of all the snow.

            As soon as I stepped inside the Chantry doors, I swept at the snow that tried to cling to my hair. My rust brown hair was braided over one shoulder and the braid rested on my chest. Next, I swiped at the clumps clinging to the hem of the long sleeve gown I was given. It was simple brown with a braided belt and a low cut chest that I covered with a piece of cloth that I tied around my shoulders. Last thing I needed was my ‘girls’ flopping out of the already pushed out bodice.

            I smiled at the guard on duty at the door and he bowed his head at me. So far, everyone had been at least gracious to me. Josephine had been the one to give me new clothing and was teaching me the ways of talking to people, which was more difficult that I care to admit. Leliana mostly watched me from afar, along with Cassandra. Solas was talkative until I told him I didn’t remember anything from my time in the Fade.

            Varric had warmed to me almost instantly, and I spend most of my nights around the big bonfire with him and a few other people from the town. Listening to him weave tales of his time with the Champion of Kirkwall. I knew most of them were fake and some he twisted to give happy endings, when I knew it had been bloodier than he was letting on. The Herald himself even sat with me during meals, mostly comparing my world to his.

            The only one I knew for a fact couldn’t stand that I was there was the Commander. I had given up trying to call him Cullen, when he gave me dirty looks every time he saw me. His gaze was always calculated and waiting for me to turn into a traitor. I think I knew what it felt like to be a mage in a Mage Circle. I tended to avoid him at every possible moment. The Cullen who had warmed up to my female Inquisitors every other play through was gone.

            I crossed the Chantry, raising my skirt a bit so I wouldn’t step on it. I wore the boots I had been given on the first day I landed in Haven. They guarded better against the cold than the slippers I’d been offered. Finally reaching the last door on the left, I knocked three times and waited to hear the muffled call to tell me to come in. When none came, I cracked the door just enough to where I could peek inside.

            “Lady Josephine?” I called, seeing a few lit candles on the desk and the Antivan diplomat writing in her perfect calligraphy on a scroll. At my calling of her name, Josephine looked up at me and sat back in her chair.

            “My apologies, Lady Ashlyn, I didn’t hear you.” I took that as my queue to enter the room. Pushing the door shut behind me, I nodded at the woman standing just beside the door.

            “Ash, just call me Ash.” I stated, walking until I was in front of her desk.

            “Very well, Ash, what can I do for you?” Her lips pressed into a fine line when she used my nickname. I was trying to get everyone in the habit of calling me that, instead of being addressed as a Lady.

            “Have you seen the Herald?” I asked, ignoring her disapproval.

            “He’s in the War Room, with the other advisors. I was just about to-” I cut her off when I placed my palms on her desk, leaning into it.

            “Perfect, I’ll join you.”

            “I’m afraid War Room conversations are secret.” I nodded, understanding.

            “It’ll be just a second, I swear.” I promised. Josephine and I stared each other down for a hard moment before she closed her eyes, letting out a loud sigh.

            “Very well.” As she rose from her desk, she picked up her ‘clipboard’ of sorts. It had a piece of parchment, a quill and ink well, along with a well-used candle.

            It was only a few paces to get to the War Room door, which had two guards stationed at it. When Josephine and I approached, she gave them a curt nod, letting them know that I was with her. Without question, one of the men reached over and opened the door, letting it swing open. She swept into the room with the purpose of a lioness, leaving me to scamper behind like a cub.

            “Lady Ashlyn, what a pleasant surprise.” Archer was the first to acknowledge my presence.

            “Hello.” I curtseyed, just as Josephine had taught me. As I rose of the bow, I glanced at the Antivan to see that she was pleased with my display.

            “Is there something we can do for you?” I wasn’t expecting the Commander to look at me, let alone talk to me. It threw off what little confidence I had in myself.

            “Y-Yes.” I cleared my throat, looking at everyone in the room.

            Archer was in front of me, Josephine moved around the right of the large table to stand beside the Commander. Leliana had her arms crossed and a scowling Cassandra stood to her right. I took a step into the room and Archer moved so I could stand at the table with them.

            “I’d like to help with War Room meetings.” I blurted.

            “I knew all of you before you even knew me.” I continued, seeing the Commander’s temper start to rise as his posture tightened. Everyone seemed to grow weary at my statement.

            I hadn’t had the courage to really talk to anyone about knowing what was going to happen. I couldn’t exactly tell them that they didn’t actually exist, and that it was all just a work of fiction.

            “I know how this story will go like the back of my hand.” Confusion laced everyone’s face as I sighed, forgetting that some phrases just weren’t used in this time period.

            “-Meaning I’m extremely familiar with it.” I clarified.

            “All I ask for is a chance to look over your maps and-”

            “No, absolutely not.” Of course, the Commander was the first to object, and do so angrily.

            “We still have not ruled her out as a spy, Herald.” Cassandra jumped on his flaming band wagon with her comment.

            “She is harmless, look at her!” I was relieved when Leliana spoke up in my defense, even though it felt more like an insult.

            Her comment on my behalf made the room rage for a moment. The Commander and Cassandra were against me even being in Haven, Josephine and Leliana didn’t see the harm in me being here while Archer just attempted to play peace-keeper. I had heard the argument nearly every day and I was tired of being the one stuck in the middle.

            “I know what area you will move to next.” I said loudly, talking over everyone else. They all calmed down after that and all eyes were on me once again.

            “Oh?” Archer asked, his eyebrow raised.

            “To the Hinterlands, to retrieve a Chantry mother by the name of Giselle who can help with Chantry issues about the Breach.” I knew the first mission by heart. It was hard to forget the first mission you send your characters out to do as an Inquisition.

            “And how did you know that?” Leliana asked, her tone sounding curious, not accusing.

            “Because I know how this story goes.” I repeated.

            “What will be our next move then?” Archer pressed, taking a step towards me.

            “You don’t even know your next move yet.” I countered, too scared to actually tell them what was to come.

            “Let me see the Hinterlands map and I’ll mark everything helpful I can on it.” I asked, meeting the Commander’s gaze defiantly. I had to stop letting myself be intimidated by him. 

            “You can send scouts out to check these spots, if you want to even.” I stated.

            The room fell silent as we stared each other down. I knew the map of the Hinterlands was in front of him, and I’m sure he knew that I had seen it. I had to prove that I was useful, and this was the only way I knew how.

            “Give her the map, Cullen.” Archer broke the silence with his command.

            “Herald-” The Commander took his eyes off me and sent a chilled gaze to Archer. They had a stare down moment as well, which ended much quicker than ours did.

            “Very well.” With a hard shove, the scroll containing the Hinterlands map was sent across the table and towards me. I had to fumble to catch it before it fell off the table.

            Josephine offered me her quill and inkwell. I took them graciously and started marking every place that I could- from memory. I had poured over the Hinterlands maps for long enough to know almost to the exact spot, where everything was at. I couldn’t forget the pesky Rift that had been in a cave surrounded by bears. Everyone watched me quietly as I put a different symbol on each spot, then made a legend on the margin as to what each sign meant.

            “These are Rifts; be watchful of this one here, it’s very tricky.” I pointed to one of the swirls I had drawn where I knew a Rift was at.

            “I might have missed a few things but I think I got most of it.” I stated, stepping away from the map after I looked at it for a moment.

            Archer was the next to look at the map, taking in my small drawing on spots and what each spot meant. He handed the map to Cassandra, and it went around the whole table before coming back to me. The only one who hadn’t looked at the map at all was the Commander, who handed the map straight to Josephine without even glancing at it.

            “I’ll head out at first light.” Archer said

            “You can’t be seriously-” Cullen jumped to protest but was shot down by a stern glance from the Herald.

            “This is the only lead we have into one of the vastest lands in Thedas.” As he talked, he pointed down at the map I had just drawn on.

            “I appreciate the help, Lady Ashlyn.” He thanked, turning to me before rolling the scroll back up and sticking it in a secret pocket of his armor. I didn’t even know armor had pockets.

            “I will send word back on these locations.” Patting the scroll, he turned to face the rest of the room, glowing green eyes scanning everyone’s faces.

            “Until then, be nice to our guest.” With that, he turned from the room and exited before the guard stationed could even open the door for him. Slowly, everyone filed from the room. I stood, feeling glad that I someone was finally putting their trust in me. I felt Cullen’s breath on my neck and in my ear as he whispered his threat before moving around me like I had the plague and exiting the still open door. His words left the hair on the back of my neck bristled. 

            “I’m watching you.”

 


	4. No Takesies-Backsies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to look up for Ash. If only she could get the trust of one of the only people she wants it from.

            “You asked for me?” I called into the long tent, seeing just the outline of a person near the back.

            Walking closer, Leliana’s form was easier to see. She was sitting down, one leg crossed over the other. Her posture was stiff as she read over a paper that had a broken wax seal. I waited, playing with a loose thread from my sleeve, until she was done reading. When her eyes met mine, there was a shine to them and I saw the ghost of a smile.

            “I wanted to be the first to applaud your success.” Leliana stated, rising from the chair and handing me the letter she had just finished.

            “Huh?” I questioned, the letter falling limp in my hands.

            “Your map has so far been accurate, on every account.” She motioned for me to look at the paper. Shaking off my astonishment, I read the letter.

**_Leliana,_ **

**_It brings me great joy to bear good news from Hinterlands. Lady Ashlyn’s map has been invaluable and accurate on all accounts. Please give her my deepest thanks, trekking this vast area is not easy but, it is much better with her detailed map._ **

**_I send this letter ahead of us with Varric, we are just a day in traveling behind him._ **

**_~Archer_ **

**_Am I getting any better at these reports? You’ve failed to tell me if I have, so I must do so directly then._ **

            “That’s fantastic, I’m glad I could help.” I smiled ear-to-ear, handing the letter back to Leliana.

            I had done it. I had earned my keep. Who would have thought all the hours I poured into playing a game would actually come in handy?

            “Are you heading out of the main gates by chance?” She asked, reaching behind her and grabbing a scroll. I nodded my head, not having anything better to do.

            “Could you take this to Commander Cullen?” At the mention of his name, my smile fell a bit but, I took the scroll anyway.

            “He won’t bite.” Leliana tried to reassure me, as she saw my mood sour a bit.

            “Debatable.” I called over my shoulder as I made my leave from the tent.

            As soon as I stepped out of the safety of the tent, a bitter cold breeze blew past. I tightened my hold on my shawl with my free hand and headed right towards the apothecary. At least I didn’t have to worry about Solas giving me the cold shoulder. I already got it enough from the man I was heading to see.

            After going down the stairs and stepping out of the main gates, I made a bee-line for the man in charge. The Commander was weaving through his recruits, watching them just as critically as he did me. When one made an obviously sloppy swing, the Commander barked at him to straighten his posture.

I made my way through the throng of fighters, trying not to disturb their training. Some of the men recognized me coming and stopped, bowing their heads to me. One even winked.

            “Good afternoon, Commander.” I piped up, once I was close enough.

            His postured tightened at my introduction, turning slowly to face me. In the time since Archer left, the Commander had seemed to warm up to me, if only a little bit. At least he could look at me without scowling.

            “If you say so.” He stated nonchalantly, the usual icy tone to his voice gone for the moment. The slight change in demeanor threw me off, lodging my words in my throat.

            “Is there something you needed?” I cleared my throat audibly and held the scroll out to him.

            “I was asked by Lady Leliana to give you this.” Flicking his gaze from me to the scroll, he slowly picked it up from my hand. His gloved fingertips grazed my palm and I couldn’t help the shudder that passed through me. As much as he irritated me with his cold attitude, I couldn’t help but find him extremely handsome.

            “Excuse me.” I squeaked out, not even attempting a curtsey as I turned on my boot heels and headed towards the town.

            Just as I was about to go through the main gates, a hand shot out and grabbed my arm. Throwing off my balance from the hard tug the person gave, I nearly tumbled into the snow. When I realized who had grabbed me, my heart jumped a bit at our close proximity. Cullen and I were so close, his breastplate kept brushing against the knot of my shawl around my shoulders.

I bit my lip at the way his masculine featured face was dipped close to mine. His breath washed over my face, smelling of the hot meat stew we’d been served for lunch that afternoon. When I finally met his eyes, however, my infatuation session died off quickly. With eyes ablaze with anger, it was obvious that he was pissed. By pissed, I meant a scowl so bad, I shrunk back while still in his grip.

            “Do you know what this is?” In his free hand was the scroll I had just given him, the seal broken. I was about to tell him that I had no idea what was inside, when he interrupted me and kept going.

            “It’s a petition, with both Lady Leliana and Lady Montilyet’s signatures requesting that you become an advisor to the Herald upon his return.” An advisor? For the Inquisition? I felt the tug of a smile come to my face but it quickly died when the grip on my arm tightened.

            “Did you know of this?” Cullen’s face drew closer as his voice grew angrier.

            “No!” I shouted, finally gaining the courage to rip my arm from his death grip.

I took a step away from him, feeling the wood of the gates behind me. The Commander took a step forward, closing the space between us again. It was nerve-wracking and angering to have him so close, after he’d man-handled me like a criminal.

            “She just asked me for a favor, and told me that my map has been extremely helpful to the Herald.” I said confidently, placing my hands on my hips and staring him down. I hadn’t done anything wrong, and I most certainly did not ask to be made an advisor.

            “Go back to Leliana, inform her that I have words to exchange with her later.” Throwing the scroll into the snow, he started to walk away.

            “I’m not a messenger.” I called after him. My comment made him stop suddenly. I half regretted saying anything when he turned around and gave me the devil look. “And you have two capable legs, go talk to her yourself.” Since I had his attention, might as well say exactly what was on my mind.

            “Are you this rude with everyone here? No wonder you haven’t made any friends yet.” The Commander’s statement hurt- like a hard slap to the face.

Even though I knew most of the people in Haven, those who friendship I didn’t have- made sure I knew it all the time. Cassandra never talked to me, Solas avoided me and Cullen, well. He just flat out didn’t want me around. And I knew that showed on my face. For a breath of a moment, it looked like he even felt bad for saying it.

            “I’m this was to men who act like-” I was hurt. I wanted to call him an asshole, but I wasn’t sure he’d get my reference.

            So we just stood several steps from one another, staring each other down. Several seconds passed and my anger simmered down drastically. Taking a deep breath, I looked down at my hands, biting my lip nervously. I felt my shoulders droop, bowing to give Cullen a curtsey.

            “Good evening, Commander.” I didn’t wait to see if he acknowledged me before hiking my skirt up and taking the stairs into Haven two at a time.

            Varric was standing at the top of the stairs, as if waiting for me. He had a smile on his face and his hands on his dwarven hips. When he saw that I wasn’t smiling like I usually was, his expression grew serious.

            “You alright?” I stopped at the top of the stairs, catching my breath as I looked at the Chantry.

            “I’m fine, Varric.” I stated, giving him a flash of a smile. He wasn’t buying my attempt at not talking about what had happened. “Just having another lovely chat with our Commander.”

            “Bianca and I can teach him a lesson if you want us to. Just say the word and he won’t be able to sit down for a month.” When he mentioned his precious crossbow, his hand raised to the handle of it, stroking it affectionately. I couldn’t help but laugh, making Varric finally gain his own smile back.

            “Thanks, but no.” I told him, still laughing a bit.

            “I just need to stop letting people get to me.” I wanted to glance over my shoulder but, Varric kept glancing down the stairs and getting a strange look on his face. Something told me that the Commander was watching me.

             And I had had enough of him for the day. 


	5. Welcome to the Inquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash gets her own space, and an interesting encounter from an unlikely guest.

            It took everything I had to open the ancient door. I threw my shoulder into it so many times, that it ached by the time the door budged open enough to where we could step in. Thema, an elf Josephine asked to attend to any needs I had, was in a panic over my dusty dress and sore arm. Thema was sweet, and kind but extremely quiet. She hardly spoke louder than a whisper.

            She was beautiful though, with a slim face and grey eyes. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, not a hair out of place. Her dress was extremely baggy on her small frame, I was sure she could just slide right out of it.

            “Are you sure you want this space, Lady Ashlyn? I’m sure we can find a more acceptable room for you-” I cut her off by turning around to face her suddenly, while standing in the middle of the dusty room.

            It was a twelve by twelve square in the lower part of the Chantry. It looked like it had been used for an office before, with a high table and a stool to go with it. A mildew ridden chair sat in the corner, its leather long since worn out. There looked to be a rug on the floor, but that could have been all the dust collected, I couldn’t be sure from a first glance. But I had been told to pick any room I wanted down there, and that was the only one we’d come across that had a window, however small it was. 

            “This is perfect, thank you.” I told her, smiling brightly at her. Whenever I smiled at her, or even talked to her, she seemed to get flustered. Like she wasn’t used to being treated like a living being.

            “And go have the afternoon off, you’ve done more than enough for me today.” I suggested, more like commanded her, as I started towards her, motioning with her hands for her to go about her own business.

            “B-But Lady-” Thema stammered, clenching her hands together as she slowly shuffled from the room.

            “Please, just call me Ash.” I wasn’t sure how many times I had corrected her but, I couldn’t be mad at her about it. She was only doing her job, I just wanted her to be comfortable with me.

            “Go enjoy the lovely day were having.” We had both commented on how the air had seemed warmer, the snow not quite melting but it was nice enough to go for a walk or just enjoy the warm sun. She had her face tilted towards the sky, soaking in the welcoming rays our entire walk.

            “Thank you, Miss.” Thema smiled thankfully at me, doing a perfect curtsey before exiting calmly.

             I peeked out of the door just in time to see her holding her skirt and running down the hallway. It took everything I had not to laugh at her childish behavior. I didn’t want her to get embarrassed.

            I pushed up the sleeves of my dress the best I could and grabbed the broom from the many cleaning supplies Thema and I had been carrying around. I started with sweeping off the table and stool, then catching as many cobwebs as I could before sweeping the floor thoroughly.

            “Is that a pile of cobwebs?”

            “Holy shit!” I yelped, whirling towards the entrance where a stoic faced Solas was standing. His arms were behind his back and he didn’t look happy to see me, or angry. Frankly, he didn’t have an expression at all.

            “You scared me!” I laughed, holding my hand to my chest as I tried to slow my breathing.

            “No need to be alarmed.” Solas stated, in his usual monotone voice. He started walking around the room, examining it with fine tooth come- his eyes.

            “Is there something you needed?” I asked when the silence grew awkward.

             What was he doing anyway, spying on me? Making sure I wasn’t entering the Fade without him? He hadn’t said more than two words to me after he realized I had no idea what happened to me in the Fade. And now he was showing up, out of the blue, to talk to me? Something had to be going on.

            “Just wanted to see how you are settling in.” Was all he said, running a fingertip across the top of the table. It still needed some scrubbing, but the worst was off it.

            “Fine, thanks.” Was all I could answer in return.

            “That’s good to hear.” Solas stated, just as he finished his turn about the room and was at the door. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

            “Wait, Solas!” I asked just as he turned to leave.

            “Yes?” He didn’t even turn to face me when he talked to me.

            “Could you help me move this?” Pointing over my shoulder at the desk, I knew it would be too heavy for me to move on my own.

            “I suppose.” Moving back into the room and around the other side of the table, we were able to lift it up.

            I instructed where I wanted it to go out in the hallway and he moved it with me wordlessly. The entire time, watching me like a hawk. If he suspected I had ulterior motives, I would turn the finger around to face him. He was the one who showed up unannounced.

            “Thanks.” I smiled at him, wiping my hands on my dress.

            “Is there anything else you needed?” Solas asked politely, making me grin more.

            “Unless you wanna get rid of that pile of ick there, then no, you’re free to go.” I joked, motioning to my dust pile that I had to find some way to take outside.

            “Very well.” I hadn’t realized that his staff was across his back until he wielded it.

             It was made of wood with a metal tip on the bottom and a metal guard around the hooked top piece. As soon as he touched it, flames burst to life on the hooked end of the staff. Without even chanting anything, he cast a fire spell right at the pile, singeing everything until there weren’t even any ashes to clean up.

            “Oh wow.” I breathed. I knew Solas was a mage. And I knew magic was a huge part of this world. However, that had been the first time anyone had ever used it in front of me.

            “I will take my leave then.” When I looked at him again, his staff was back on his back and I didn’t stop him as he made for the door.

            “Thanks again.” I called as he exited. I knew he heard me but he made no motion of acknowledgement.

            Blowing a piece of hair from my face, I scanned the room again. Thanks to Solas and a bit of magic, I didn’t have to worry about getting the table moved or find a place to dump the dust ball I had made. I rolled up the disgusting rug on the cobblestone floor and drug it from the room. It had to have weighed more than me but I maneuvered it somewhere I wouldn’t have to look at it again.

            Under the rug, the floor was in perfect condition so I got to scrubbing down the walls. I had finished the entire wall the door was on when I left to change my water. When I got back, the door was opened the rest of the way and someone was waiting for me inside.

            “Lady Montilyet told me that you were trying to convert one of these dungeon rooms into your own space but I thought she was joking.” I smiled warmly at Archer.

            “Good to see you in one piece.” I commented, dipping my scrub brush in the water before going at the next wall.

            “You as well, I heard rumors that our Commander hasn’t been playing very nice.” I stopped scrubbing and met his serious green gaze.

            “I’ll have a word with him later about it.” Archer took my silence as admission and I quickly stopped him.

            “No, it’s alright.” I told him, dropping my brush and rubbing my pruned hands on my dress in an attempt to dry them. “He’s wary; it’s understandable.”

            “You’ve proven your worth with that map you gave us.” Archer stated, taking a step towards me. “Thank you for that.” His voice dropped an octave as his eyes dropped, to somewhere I wasn’t sure I wanted him to look.

            “Anytime.” I cleared my throat, taking a step back and grabbing the brush out of the pail.

            “I- We were wondering if you would-” I was just about to start scrubbing again when Archer stuttered. “Would like to become an advisor for the Inquisition?”

            My heart bloomed just like the first time I had heard that they were considering me for an advisor position. Only this time, I wouldn’t have to worry about getting man-handled out of anger.

            “Of course!” I answered, sounding as excited as I felt.

            “Were about to have a meeting now.” Archer started for the door, his heavy armor clanking as he made his way for the door. “You are more than welcome to join us.” When he turned to face me, he had a smile on his face that I couldn’t help but return.

            “Let’s not keep them waiting then, shall we?” I touched my hair, making sure that the braid hadn’t come undone while I was working.

            After I got done self-primping, Archer held out his arm to me, his smile still ghosted on his lips. I looped my arm through his and we walked side-by-side as he told me about his travels to the Hinterlands. Mostly of all the trouble he had with the bears.

            When we reached the doors to the War Room, Archer reached for the door and opened it before the guards stationed could. I bowed my head to them as I walked into the room first.

            “Hello, Herald.” Josephine said formally, making me look at her.

            “Good evening everyone.” Archer stated, stepping up to the table.

            “I saw Thema out and about earlier and I feared you had sent her off on her own early.” Josephine looked to me next. I took that as my turn to step forward.

            “I did actually- she didn’t need to be cramped in there helping me clean my own mess.” I told her truthfully, figuring she already put the piece together and figured out that I had given her the afternoon off.

            I wasn’t sure what to do so I just looked down, biting my lip. When a throat cleared across the table from me, my gaze jumped up. The Commander’s arms were crossed and he looked as intimidating as ever. However, there was an edge missing to his demeanor, more so now than the day before. He moved forward a fraction and acted about to speak.

“How is your room coming?” Leliana asked, cutting off Cullen and making my gaze move to her.

            “Good, thank you for asking.” I blurted, feeling flushed for getting caught staring.

            “Glad to see everything didn’t fall apart in my absence.” Archer joked, resting his palms on the table.

            “I’d like to introduce the Inquisition’s newest addition, Lady Ashlyn.” I bowed my head and glanced at everyone’s reaction.

            Of course, Leliana, Josephine and Archer already knew about it. Cassandra crossed her arms, gave a huff and said nothing more. I took a few seconds longer to see the Commander’s expression. He didn’t seem angry, like he was yesterday. And he had caught me staring at him. I quickly cleared my throat and pulled on the next map to review: The Storm Coast.

            “Shall we get started?”

 


	6. Dennet's Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archer has gotten Dennet, and his mighty horses to join the Inquisition. Ash likes horses, as does another adviser.

            “It seems the Herald was successful in getting Dennet’s mighty steeds.” Josephine called over her shoulder as I was talking with a villager in town that was telling me an issue with her roof.

            I was an advisor to fight a war, not a person who delegated others to fix houses. However, we were staying in their town, so I felt obligated to help anyway I could. After I helped an old woman bolt her front door back on the hinges, everyone came to me with their problems.

            At hearing Josephine’s statement, I excused myself and walked to her side. Just coming around the bend from the Hinterlands, was Archer, Varric, Cassandra and Solas, all riding dark brown horses.

            “So it seems.” I said, wrapping my shawl more around my shoulders.

            “Would you like to go see them?” I asked her as she started walking back towards the Chantry, her board in one hand and quill in another.

            “Perhaps later, after they scrub the stables from top to bottom.” Her nose scrunched as she talked, making me laugh and she giggle a bit with me.

            “You know that isn’t going to happen, right?” I commented.

            “Then I won’t be going anywhere near one anytime soon.” Turning on her heel, she made for the Chantry without another word, just a wave over her shoulder.

            “I’ll go alone then.” I said mostly to myself, seeing the woman that I was talking to before having vanished.

            Taking the stairs and walking through the gates, I didn’t dare glance to my right at where the recruits were training. I knew where they were- their Commander wasn’t far away. Since I had been taken in as an advisor, I hoped it would help our tense relationship better. Cassandra and I got along much better since I became an advisor. When they left to go to the Hinterlands after the horses, I was actually sad to see her go.

            However, the plan worked the exact opposite way between the Commander and I. Most of the meetings consisted of Cullen and I shouting at each other. With either Cassandra or Archer having to step in and divert things back to the topic at hand. It put us at odds, and that left a strange twinge in my chest. I didn’t want to fight with him. I shook off the feeling as best as I could as I approached our mounted companions and their fearless leader.

            “Looks like you’ve come back with quite a prize.” I said, walking up to Cassandra’s horse and holding out my hand. The horse’s big brown eyes matched its fur as it brushed its nose on my palm.

            “A few, I’d say.” She stated, dismounting and giving my shoulder a squeeze. I found out that was her way of saying she missed me. I smiled at her as she handed a newly hired stable boy the reigns and headed off to her tent.

            “He gave us these, and more are arriving soon with Dennet in their company.” Archer said, walking up to me with his own horse still in hand.

            “This is good news.” I brought my hand to his horse’s nose and it whinnied “These are some of the finest horses in Fereldan.” I smiled at the horse, bringing my other hand up to scratch its forehead.

            “But the Harts from the Dalish are stunning as well.” I didn’t take my eyes off the horse as I continued to talk to Archer.

            “Have you ever seen one?” I asked, looking at him when he didn’t answer me right away. He was too busy watching my interaction with the horse, a small smile on his face

            “No but, I want to now.” His bold words and his step towards me threw me off, making me stumble for words. Luckily, I didn’t have to find an excuse to walk away because someone hollered for Archer from behind him.

            “Excuse me.” He sighed, walking towards the voice and leaving his large horse in my care.

            “Hello.” I started talking to the animal as it sniffed at the snow at its feet. “How are you this evening?” The beast let out a huff, throwing powdered snow everywhere and making it rear its head up, sneezing.

            “Tired, I’m sure.” I continued, petting its mane. A large snowflake landed on my cheek. I took my hands off the beast to brush away the snow. In the few seconds my hands weren’t scratching at its neck, it whinnied, nudging my arm. “Affectionate, I see.” I laughed, placing my forehead against its head.

            The horse whipped its head up, neighing loudly. I tugged at the reigns in its mouth, bringing its head back to my level and rubbing the spot between its eyes. Its large eyes were still focusing on a spot behind my shoulder and I turned to see what it was looking at.

            “C-Commander!” I almost jumped out of my skin at the close proximity he was standing behind me.

            “These are Fereldan horses.” He said, not affected by my behavior. Cullen took his right glove off, exposing his rough calloused hand to the cold. Reaching towards the horse, he waited until it got done sniffing his hand before he moved forward, rubbing its head.

            “Dennet’s to be exact.” I stated, after finding my voice. Watching him be so gentle with the beast was distracting.

            We stood like that for a while, me holding the reigns and its head draped over my shoulder while Cullen gave it a good rub down with his hands, both ungloved at that point. Sometimes, his hand would go off the horse’s neck and would brush my shoulder. That would cause him to stop and stare at me until the horse nudged for more attention.

            The clomping of more horses sounded from the trail. When we both looked to see Dennet riding the largest horse and a herd of them behind him, surrounded by Inquisition soldiers, I grinned.

            “So he was able to get Dennet to come to Haven as well?” Cullen asked, patting the neck of Archer’s horse while looking at me for confirmation. All I could do was nod in agreement. “Impressive.” He mused.

            Suddenly, the horse moved its head away from Cullen and started nudging me. Placing its cold nose on my neck, I shivered while laughing, starting to scratch at each side of its head.

            “He likes you.” Turning to look at Cullen, I couldn’t help but smile at him. He seemed content. Happy even. It was a huge leap from the fighting we had been doing lately.

            Catching my smile, a flush raced up his neck and up to his cheeks. A hand went up to the back of his neck, rubbing it harshly. It made my smile grow, along with the butterflies in my stomach. That neck rub and flushed face meant that I was getting to him. And I liked it.

            “I was looking for the Herald.” The Commander cleared his throat, sounding authoritative as he squared his shoulders.

            “He went that way.” I said, pointing my finger towards the stables where Archer had been called to. I bit my lip to keep from laughing, but I couldn’t stop smiling. There was a moment where his eyes shined with emotion but was gone before I could tell what it was.

            “Good day then.” He said formally as he turned away from me and towards the stable, where Archer and Dennet were just walking out of.

            “Let’s get you in a stable, where you can get some grub and rest up.” I said to the horse, who neighed in response. Pulling gently on the reigns, he followed me willingly. I even enjoyed the view of the Commander walking away, being discrete as my ogling would let me.


	7. A New Companion is Coming!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Iron Bull is on his way from the Storm Coast, and are feuds finally getting settled?

            “What’s got her all excited?” I heard Josie ask Leliana behind me but I didn’t pay her any mind.

             I was too busy balancing on a local shop-keeper’s cart, the only thing that was just high enough for me to see over the high wooden walls surrounding Haven. My eyes were on the trail that came from the north, where I knew the team that went out to the Storm Coast would come from. Varric rode in a day ahead of the others, with a scroll saying that they had successfully recruited the leader of the Chargers, Iron Bull.

            “Our newest companion is on their way and she assures us that he will be a great asset to our cause.” Leliana answered.

            “Iron Bull is such a badass!” I called over my shoulder, not taking my eyes of the trail.

            “So you’ve told us.” Leliana stated, and I thought I heard a slight laugh as she spoke.

            “I’m sorry, I’m just excited.” I sighed, stepping down from the cart and starting towards the gates. It was almost noon, by the way the sun was almost in the middle of the sky. Archer had wrote that they would be in Haven by the time the sun was in that exact spot.

            “It’s a nice change to the scowl you’ve had on your face lately.” Varric said as he followed close behind me.

            “I haven’t been scowling.” I responded, placing my hands on my hips as I stopped walking. Varric rounded around me and stood in front of me, his usual coy smile on his face.

            “Says you, Sunshine, but you wear your tension on your sleeve like romantic’s wear their hearts.” His statement made me laugh, grinning down at him.

            “Sunshine?” I asked, watching him shrug at me, still smiling.

            “You’re the light of my day.” I laughed again, shaking my head as I started off towards the gates again. Varric followed me silently, and I knew that he was waiting for an answer to the rest of his statement.

            “Being an advisor is harder than it looks.” I sighed out, once we were out of Haven and away from the hustle of the rest of the town’s people.

            “Advising is easy; it’s who you’re advising with that’s driving you mad.” I gave him a sideways look, and saw that he was smiling, knowing he had struck the bulls eye.

            I didn’t even have to tell Varric for him to know that Cullen and I were still at each other’s throat, more so than before. Ever since the small moment we had a few weeks back, he had been even harder on me. Pushing me at every turn, doubting my knowledge. The one time I attempted to pull him aside after a meeting to talk to him about his behavior, he just walked right past me. Like I hadn’t been standing there attempting to talk to him.

            “He just head-buts me at every turn!” I told him, feeling my anxiety come back ten-fold. “Questions every move that I suggest and when I say my piece about who should delegate certain tasks, and it’s like I’ve set of an atomic bomb in his solar system!” I made a blowing up motion with my hands as I finished my sentence, looking at Varric to see if he was still on the same page as I was.

            “I have no idea what that last part was but, it sounds like the two of you need to have a sit-down talk.” He reasoned, standing in front of me when I leaned against Haven’s wall.

            “I’ve tried that, Varric.” I groaned, remembering the embarrassment I felt when he just walked right past me and out of the War Room after a meeting. “He just ignored me.”

            “Then try again.” He said, hands on his hips as he shrugged. “It never hurts to give them a second chance.” _That was debatable,_ I thought.

            “Your right.” I finally answered.

            “I usually am, Sunshine.” He joked, winking at me. He started back up the stairs towards his camp that he had set up around the bonfire.

            “Varric?” I called after him, rounding around to see that he was actually taller than me for once, being several steps up.

            “Thanks. For, you know- being my friend.” He gave me another shrug but his smile told me that he appreciated me.

            “Get going. Last I saw, Curly was heading to his prized recruits.” With that, he started back up the steps. I took a moment to breathe before turning around and heading towards the recruits camp.

            As I got closer, I saw that they were making a large circle around something, and cheering loudly. I quickened my steps, pushing through the men to get to the center. Two men were in the middle. Neither were wearing a coat, just their under shirts, pants and boots as they tried to hit each other in the face. Both of them looked battered, one had blood under his nose and the other kept spitting out blood.

            “What’s going on here?” I called, gaining next to no attention over all the yelling as the bloody mouthed man struck the other in a hard blow to the gut.

            “Just some healthy brawling.” I jumped when I heard Cullen’s voice behind me. When I turned to face him, he was watching the men fight. “It’s good to let them go at it sometimes.”

            “Are they betting?” I asked when I saw men jingling pouches above their heads and shouting numbers.

            “Did no one in your world do anything this feral?” He asked

            “Betting happened often, over silly things.” I told him, cringing as another blow was struck. “And I never suggested that it was feral.” I continued, even as one of the men was finally knocked out.

            “Commander, a word please?” I turned to face Cullen, taking his eyes away from the ring.

            “Any lovely women want to sweeten our pot?” We both turned our attention back to the center as a different man entered it, chanting. He immediately zeroed in on me, seeing as I was the only woman around.

            “Add a kiss for the victor?” He asked, making the rest of the men cat-call and whistle. I laughed, shaking my head.

            “I’ll-” I was just about to tell them no when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist and a breath in my ear.

            “You’ll do no such thing.” My skin prickled as Cullen whispered harshly in my ear and maneuvered my arm through his before parting the crowd of men.

            “Is there something wrong with me betting, Commander?” I asked, wanting to see if I could get a rise out of him again.

            “You wanted to talk to me?” He said instead, as we entered the forest just on the edge of the tents. As soon as we were out of eye shot, his arm released mine and he took two whole steps back from me.

            “I wanted to discuss us.” I started, watching his eyebrow raise in question. “I mean our work relationship.” I clarified.

            “I know you don’t like me. Since the day I fell from the sky, you’ve been throwing ‘traitor’ around like it’s my name.” I told him honestly.

            “I’ve never-” Cullen started to defend himself but I cut him off, raising my hand.

            “Your expressions speak volumes.” I let the hurt be heard in my voice as I talked. No, he had never called me any names. He did, however, scowl at me like he was hoping his hard gaze alone would open a Rift and take me back to wherever I came from.

            “I’m just tired of us arguing over every little thing. It’s childish, petty, and beneath us.” I explained, catching his posture relax as he let out a loud sigh, running a gloved hand through his hair. “Am I wrong?” I asked, waiting for his answer.

            “No- you’re right.” Cullen finally said. His hand that had been in his hair rested on the back of his neck as he stared me down.

            “I will work on my behavior, so long as you try to play nice?” I closed most of the space between us, holding out my arm the rest of the way and waited to see if he would return the gesture. His mouth quirked in the start of a smirk as he grabbed my outstretched hand with his.

            “Alright, Lady Ashlyn.” His hands were warm, even while wearing gloves, and his grip was firm. “You have a deal.” We shook our adjoined hands and I nodded at him, smiling happily. Maybe giving second chances around here weren’t so bad after all.

            Just as I was about to pull away, I heard the whinnying of horses, alerting us of Archer’s return. Looking at the trail we had come from, and back at Cullen, I started off down the trail.

            “The Herald’s back!” I cheered, pulling him along behind me. I saw the outline of four figures on horseback, one much larger in size than the rest.

            To this day, I couldn’t be sure if Cullen was tagging along because of my death grip on his hand, or if he actually wanted to hold my hand.


	8. Run Away Carts and Falling Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Ashlyn are finally on speaking terms but, how much farther can their tested trust go in one day?

            Just before we were at the Herald’s side, Cullen pulled his hand from mine. I looked back at him. His face was back to its usual mutual expression. I glanced down at his hand and then at mine, feeling the start of a blush on my face. 

            “So you’re Ashlyn.” I turned with a start.

            Suddenly, my excitement came back ten-fold. The Iron Bull was here, and had addressed me. He was just as large and muscular as I imagined, and had a wide grin on his scarred face. I felt giddy but crossed my arms over my chest, giving him my best grin.

            “And how do you know of me?” I questioned the Qunari as he dismounted his horse.

            “Word’s spread like wildfire of a beautiful maiden who fell from the sky and has been helping the Inquisition with her prophet abilities she gained from the Fade.” I stole a glance at Archer as he passed us. All he did was shrug, smiling.

            “They did get one thing right.” I looked back up at Bull, realizing he was nearly twice my height. “You are beautiful.” I let out a girlish giggle as he dipped his upper body to my height and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

            “Would you like to see your new quarters, Iron Bull?” Both Bull and I turned to look at Archer. His once casual expression had grown a bit sour. I looked back at Bull just as he glanced at me, straightening to his full height.

            “See you around, gorgeous.” He threw over his shoulder as he followed Archer towards Haven’s gates.

            “We’ll be meeting in the War Room soon.” Cullen told me as he moved to stand beside me.

            Wordlessly, we started up the stairs towards the Chantry. Just as we reached the top, a group of children rushed past us. A little girl lagged in the back, her doll dragging on the ground behind her. Her doll sudden dropped from her small hands, right at my feet. I picked it up and brushed the snow from it.

            When the girl came back for her doll, I smiled and made it wave at her. It made the girl giggle. Scooping the doll into her arms, she took off back after the rest of the kids. I watched her go. I heard a soft sound behind me and turned to see Cullen rubbing the back of his neck. His amber gaze was looking up at the Chantry building, glancing at me only once. It made my heart squeeze tightly.

            “What do you think of our newest companion?” I asked him as we started towards the main building once again.

            “I think he’s getting a bit too friendly with the women, and men, here.” Cullen stated, making me laugh. I saw him glance my way more than once as I tried to stop my giggles.

            “It’s just who he is.” I explained. “Don’t worry about him, he’s harmless.”

            I was walking backwards, hands laced behind me. Cullen and I kept chatting, I had asked about his troop formation plans when I heard the snapping of wood. Cullen saw whatever was coming and launched himself towards me, sending us both into a nearby snow drift.

            “Look out!” Someone shouted as something rushed past us.

It was a wooden cart on wheels that had come unhitched, all its goods spilling everywhere. If Cullen hadn’t pushed us out of the way, we both would have been crushed. I looked up at said Commander, feeling melting snow seep through my cloak and into my dress.

Bits of powered snow dusted his hair as he breathed heavily. I felt one of his knees between my legs and his hands were on either side of my face .He had sunk farther into the snow from the weight of his armor. That made our bodies extremely close to one another. I finally looked into his eyes and I regretted it immediately. His intense gaze made a blush creep heatedly up my neck and through my cheeks. When our eyes met, Cullen attempted to move, only to sink deeper into the snow. That meant we were even closer than before.

            “Commander! Lady Ashlyn! Are you alright?” A soldier asked as he rushed to our side. Cullen reached his arm behind him and the soldier helped him to stand.

            “Are you hurt?” Cullen asked me as he reached his hand out to help me up next. He didn’t even bother to brush himself clean of snow first.

            “N-No.” I shuttered, trying to get the caked on snow off my clothing before it melted anymore.

            “Let’s head inside before more caravan’s try to run you over.” My head jerked to look at Cullen.

He had a coy smile on his face. I could hardly believe it, _he was joking with me._ Wanting to keep up his good mood, I laughed and gave his arm a good natured shove. It made him laugh under his breath and we started walking again.

I didn’t want to keep the other advisers waiting so I headed straight into the War Room, a trail of water and snow in my wake. When we finally entered the room, all eyes were on us. We must have been quite a sight. Both of us in different stages of drying off. A shiver raced down my spine, making me wrap my arms around my middle.

We made quick work of the meeting and I advised on a few caves to check out on the Storm Coast. Archer was talking to Leliana about a spy report she had gotten back when I reached for one of the other maps across the table. The paper I was reaching for was pushed closer to me by a familiar hand. I mouthed my thanks to Cullen so I wouldn’t interrupt the talking. He just nodded once in acknowledgement before paying attention once again.

When we finally wrapped up our meeting, it was dinnertime. I walked out of the Chantry, talking with Josephine about Orlesian order when I saw white flecks of snow falling towards the ground lazily.

            “It’s snowing!” I chirped, looking up at the sky. Josephine simply laughed, leaving me to my gawking.

            “It does that often here.” Cullen said as he exited to the outside last, closing the door behind him.

            “It never gets old for me.” I sighed, taking a deep breath and feeling the cold air sting my lungs a bit.

            “Just stand here a moment.” I asked him, looking at him as he shook his head, arms crossed over one another.

            “We’re more liable to catch a cold than anything.” Back was his serious mood.

            “Please?” I pleaded, meeting his eyes. Wordlessly, he moved to stand beside me and looked up at the night sky with me.

            The pure white flakes fell from the dark night sky and through the clouds, the stars were brightly lighting the sky. Even the moon seemed to be playing peek-a-boo as it peeked in and out of view. It was so quiet, that you could almost hear the snow falling to the ground.

            “It’s beautiful.” I said out loud.

            “Everything is beautiful through your eyes, isn’t it?” I was thrown off by Cullen’s statement, so much so that I stopped enjoying the falling snow and looked at him.

            Snow clumps had collected on the top of his hair and on the fur on his pauldrons. It didn’t take away from his handsomeness though. The cold reddened the tip of his nose and ears and I could see every breath he took.

            “I try to see the good in everything.” I told him, looking down at my hands. “And everyone.” I admitted quietly.

            Boldly, I took a step towards Cullen. He only quirked his brow in question but at least he didn’t move away.

            “You’ve seen much heartache, Commander.” His eased posture tensed quickly at my confession. With one look at me, he knew that I knew. Knew what had happened to him all those years ago. I heard the leather of his gloves tighten around his armored arms.

            “Let’s just stand here and enjoy the snow.” I said quietly, aching to reach out to him but, I knew that would be too forward. I had just gained his trust, it would take more time to gain his friendship. It wasn’t something that could be done over the course of a few hours.

            “It won’t fix anything.” I almost didn’t catch what he said when he finally spoke after the long silence.

            “It’s better than dealing with it alone.” I told him as I looked back up at the sky, catching a snow flake on the tip of my nose.

            I didn’t catch the flash of gratitude that came and went across his face as he watched me enjoy the quiet night.


	9. Dealing With With Drawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra contracts Ashlyn for a special task.

            I was humming quietly to myself as I spread the freshly cleaned sheet over my new mattress. The glass window that let in what little light the room had had just been cleaned, letting even more light into the dungeon room. Leliana had found me a privacy screen that I had standing in the corner, along with all my clothing items. I found a fairly new rug in one of the other empty rooms and had it spread over the cold floor. Everything was coming together. All I needed was things to hang on the bare walls and it would almost feel like my bedroom at home.

            At the thought of my old life, I stopped humming. I wondered how my parents were. I wondered if my friends even knew that I was gone. Did anyone even miss me from my old life?

            “Your room is coming together well.” Cassandra startled me out of my stormy thoughts. I turned to face her quickly, flashing her my best smile.

            “It’s a start.” I told her, folding in the final side of the sheet under the bed.

            “Something I can help you with, Cassandra?” I asked, straightening to my full height again. I wiped my hands on my skirt as I walked towards her.

            “I’d like for you to spend the day with Commander Cullen.” I tilted my head at her.

            She was one of the first, outside of the rest of the advisers, to notice that Cullen and I weren’t fighting any longer. When we had a civil conversation during meals, everyone gawked at us. Had our fighting been that notorious?

            “Alright.” I agreed. “Is something the matter?” I asked as I followed her out of my room. I shut the door behind us and caught up to her.

            “When you see him, you will know.” Was all she told me as we made our way up the stairs.

            We walked in silence. It was normally how Cassandra and I were, silent companions for one another. When we reached the outside and out of the gates of Haven, I saw the normal troops training. The only difference was the surplus of men surrounding our Commander. As Cassandra parted the training grounds, I saw what Cassandra meant.

            Cullen was in bad shape, and doing a terrible job of hiding it. His forehead was thick with sweat. He was trying to focus hard on what one of the men was saying to him but his eyes kept rolling in the back of his head. When I saw his whole body quiver violently, I knew I had to step in fast. The lyrium with drawl was taking its toll on him.

            “Commander?” I called to him, abandoning from Cassandra’s side as I moved through the men all waiting to talk to Cullen.

            He didn’t acknowledge me as I stood right in front of him. I waited until the soldier was done talking to him before moving forward and taking the board that held papers from his hands. It was only after I took the board completely from him that he looked at me.

            “I’ll take it from here, thank you.” I gave the soldier a charming smile, which stunned him into silence.

            I looked down at the paper and saw it was a petition for new bed rolls for traveling soldiers. I quickly signed it after checking with the requisite official, who was also there, that we had enough supplies to make them all. As I reached for another of the papers, I felt something heavy on my shoulder. Looking, I followed the hand that rested there to the face of its owner.

            “Ashlyn.” My heart leapt harshly as Cullen spoke my name. It actually made my breath catch in my throat as well. My name sounded so unbelievably good from his lips, as trembling as they were.

            “Go take a walk.” I told him softly “I’ll take care of this and I’ll be right behind you.”

            Cullen stared at me for longer than necessary and I could help but stare back. The longer we looked at one another, the more my body turned into crazed teenager mode. I felt like I was chasing the high school jock all over again. When he finally dropped his hand from my shoulder and started towards the woods, I focused back on the task at hand.

            I signed a few more papers, advised people in the right direction and stopped a brawl between two soldiers. Cullen definitely had a full plate. I was relieved when everyone started to clear out. I had gotten so busy that I nearly forgot I sent the staggering Commander into the woods. Picking up my skirt, I took off down the trail. I didn’t have to go far, as Cullen was sitting on a rock with his face in his hands.

            I walked up to him and perched beside him on the rock. I knew he heard my approach because he moved his face from his hands long enough to look at my feet. I was playing with the snow with the tip of my shoe when he finally spoke up.

            “Is there something you needed to speak with me about?” Cullen asked, taking a gulp of air.

            “No. I just wanted to get you away from the rush of things for a bit.” I leaned forward, trying to get a look at his face. “It would take a blind fool to not notice that you’re in pain.” I explained.

            “I’m fine.” As he said it, he rose his face from his hands. Straightening his posture, he held a regal posture. But the twitch of his lip gave away the fact that he was still in pain.

            “Is there anything I can do to help you?” I asked, not believing him for a second.

            “I said I’m fine.” Cullen growled.

            “And I say you’re a bad liar.” I accused, making him look at me from the corner of his eye.

            “Let’s just get some fresh mountain air and see if that doesn’t help, alright?” I compromised. When he didn’t say anything else, I took that as his compliance.

            I wasn’t sure why I did, but I just started talking. Talking about my life before I came here. What I did for a living, which made him grunt. I told him about cell phones, and cars and television. After a while, I started talking about myself. My first best friend, and her ultimate betrayal when she stole my boyfriend.

            I actually got him to laugh when I told him about the disastrous school play I was a part of. Cullen seemed to hang on my every word as I talked. He finally started asking questions about it all. He seemed amazed at how different my world was from his. I told about holidays and how we celebrated most holidays with gift giving.

            I was describing Rockefeller Plaza during Christmas time when I caught a smile on his face, so natural and carefree. I could tell his headache was still there, he occasionally would rub his temples. But I was distracting him from the worse of it. And I was helping myself. It felt good to talk about it all. It made me not miss it all as much.  

            “Thank you.” He told me suddenly, looking at me with that same smile still on his face.

            “Anytime.” I returned his smile.

            It would take some time for us to be friends but, this was a start.


	10. The Duke of Whats-His-Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More pressure falls on Ashlyn when more people hear that a Prophet lives.

            I had no idea being the Inquisitions “Prophet” would get me such attention.

            People came from all over Thedas to see if I could tell them their future. Some of the people started to get angry at me when I couldn’t tell them anything. Then Cassandra would step up and put them in their place. When Cassandra was around, she was good at keeping them at bay. If Archer took Cassandra out with him to the field, that left me to fend for myself.

            I was heading for a War Room meeting between Leliana, Josephine, Cullen and myself when I was stopped by a visitor. He was obviously from Orlais, wearing a golden painted mask over his eyes and nose, as they always seemed to. His frilly dark blue and green pants suit was made of silk and something else that cost way too much money.

            He introduced himself as Duke Hernric from a noble house that I forgot the name the moment he said it. He seemed to be charming, or at least trying to charming. The act was thick. He paid me too many compliments before finally asking for me to “see into his future.”

            “I’m sorry, Ser, but I cannot see any future other than the Inquisitions.” I explained, just like I had to everyone else who had come to see me. I even used the same polite voice I always did.

            “That is nonsense! I came for answers.” He shouted at me.

             I curtseyed to him respectfully, even though he was being an ass. It was when I attempted to get away from him that he got violent. Grabbing my arm roughly, he pulled me back to face him, slamming my back into the wall. I was too alarmed to sound for any guards, and no one else seemed to be walking the Hall.

            “No one walks away from me.” I jerked at my arm but, he wouldn’t let go.

            “Let me go, you pig!” I finally shouted. It had been the wrong thing to say.

            His grip tightened even more on my arm and what little I could see of his eyes were blazing with anger. His other hand raised above his head, palm open. I knew what that meant. Shutting my eyes tightly, I tensed up and waited for the slap.

            “I think it’s time you left.” The icy tone of Cullen’s voice made my eyes shoot open. The Duke tensed. I had once been at the brunt of that tone before, and knew how the Duke must have felt. Cullen had one of his hands wrapped around the Duke’s wrist and the other was gripping his shoulder.

            Cullen’s eyes briefly met mine. I wasn’t sure what he saw when he looked at me but, whatever it was it made him angrier. If that was even possible. I pulled at my arm that was still in the Duke’s petrified grip. That’s when Cullen looked at the hold the man had on me and his eyes darkened with rage.

            “Let her go. _Now._ ” The Duke didn’t have time to let go because Cullen ripped him away from me. Cullen was dragging him out by the back of his jacket when Leliana and Josephine swept in.

            “Are you alright?” Josie asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as the three of us watched Cullen literally shove the man out the Chantry doors.

            “I will make sure he has no more contact with the Inquisition.” Leliana promised, turning to face us both.

            “I’m alright, really. There’s no reason-” Just as I was to plead my case, Cullen had joined our group.

            “From now on, you are to always be with one of us.” He motioned to us in the circle. “Or in the company of a guard of my choice.” I knew I had no say in the matter. Cullen was furious and I knew better than to step on his toes.

            “Do you need to see a healer?” Josephine asked as she held my arm. The dark outline of a bruise was starting to form in the shape of the Duke’s hand. I glanced at Cullen to see him fixated on the mark.

            “That won’t be necessary.” I said, gently pulling my arm from her warm hands. “I’d like to go on with the meeting.” They all stood and watched me for a moment before Leliana lead the way to the War Room.

            Josie refused to let me go from her side, which left Cullen to pull up the rear. The meeting went quick and straight to business. Cullen stood across from me in his usual spot. I caught his gaze on my arm more than once during the meeting. When I asked him to hand me the maps for the Fallow Mire, he grabbed the map and walked around the table. Standing beside me, he unrolled the map and placed it as I wrote on it.

            “How’s your arm?” I jumped when I felt his hand brush my injured arm. His tone was quiet. Josephine and Leliana were in a debate about supplies. Looking down at my arm, I wiggled my fingers. I had a suspicion that it got sprained in my struggle to get away.

            “It’s fine.” Our eyes met at the same time. I smiled warmly at him. “Thank you for what you did.” Cullen paused for a moment before nodding at me.

           We turned our attention back to the map. Before long, I had all the locations marked on the map, making sure to emphasize the fact that the torches needed to be lit on the path. When we finally left, I excused myself from them and went to my room. As soon as I had the door closed behind me, I blew out the candles and threw myself into the bed.

            I dreamed of violent men and a knight riding an overgrown Nug coming to my rescue. The knight wore fur pauldrons.

~ ~ ~ ~

            When I woke the next morning, Thema hadn’t come to my room yet. The sun hadn’t even risen. I pulled myself from my bed and towards the wash basin on a small side table. A small candle was beside it. I lit the candle and looked into the mirror above the table. Dark bags were under my eyes. I looked as tired as I felt.

            Dipping my hands into the cool water, I splashed my face a few times. Feeling myself finally start to wake up, I looked at the reflection again. Still had the bags under my eyes but, I looked more alert. I got to work undressing from my clothes the day before. Thema arrived just as I was braiding my hair.

            “A gift for you, Ashlyn.” I rose an eyebrow at the vial in her hands.

            Thanking her, I sat on my bed as I let her redo my hair. She handed me the vial of brown liquid and I turned it in my hands. Looking at the label, I almost laughed aloud.

            _Lady Ashlyn,_

_I asked the apothecary to make you a salve for your arm. Rub it in thoroughly on the injured area and let dry. Do this twice a day to help the swelling._

_Commander Cullen._

“How thoughtful of him.” Thema mused over my shoulder as she tied off the braid.

            I rose the sleeve of my dress and she opened the lid of the salve. Both of us gagged at the horrid smell, which made us laugh. Thema grew more comfortable with me with every passing day. I dipped my fingers into the salve when she reopened it. Rubbing it on the dark bruise made it tingle. Leaving my sleeve rolled up, we talked until I felt the area dry. I rose from my bed and thanked Thema before leaving.

            I grabbed my cloak on the way out, knowing it would be cold yet again. I took a deep breath when I finally got outside. My first task was to thank the apothecary for the medicine. When I reached his hut, he greeted me just as he did everyone else. Rushed and to the point. He told me the Commander asked him to make it last night, after I had gone to bed. And that when he asked Cullen about how the potion worked, he said that he just left it outside my room.

            After thanking him for his time, I left on a new mission. I had to thank Cullen. He went out of his way to get the salve made and then delivered it himself. I passed the Inn when I smelled the daily soup getting cooked. It sprung an idea in my head. I made a bee-line for the Inn. The Innkeeper’s wife had offered to show me a thing or two around the kitchen whenever I had a moment. And I planned on taking her up on it.


	11. A Way To Say Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn makes Cullen that thank you meal- while someone else watches them from afar.

            Several hours later, I left with a cloth wrapped bundle in my arms. I wasn’t sure what soup we had made but it was hot, both in temperature and flavor. I just hoped the Commander enjoyed it. It took me no time at all to find Cullen. He was in his usual spot, doing his usual yelling at his recruits. 

            “Good afternoon, Commander.” I chimed as I neared him.

            “Here.” I held out the bundle to him when he turned to face me. “For you.” He stood there for a moment, looking from me to the wrapped package in my hands.

            “Should I be worried? You’ve been spending an awful lot of time with Sera.” I waved my hand in the air and smiled.

            It was true, though. Since the Friend of Red Jenny had first showed up, we had been close. We hung out often at the Inn and played in the snow. Cullen caught us more than once throwing snowballs from behind trees at his recruits that started snowball wars. She even offered to teach me her Bee’s in a Jar trick once warmer weather hit Haven.

            “Oh nonsense, it’s totally harmless.” I reassured him as he took the cloth wrapped bowel from my hands. 

            “It’s a thank you for the salve you had made for me.” I followed him as he took a seat on a rock near the frozen lake. “Plus you haven’t been eating enough.” I chastised, grinning when he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

            “Just a concerned friend.” Shrugging my shoulders, I sat on the rock beside him.

            “Since when did we become friends, Lady Ashlyn?” I caught the humor of his tone and shot my grin his way.

            “Since now, I suppose.” I mused aloud. Our eyes locked gazed.

            His amber ones took in the features of my face. The sun brought out the red under tone of my hair as it sat over my shoulder in its usual braid. I swept at the bits of hair that were too short to be pulled into the braid. Cullen watched the movement before clearing his throat. He started to open the cloth knot. When he saw it was a covered dish, he looked over at me. I held a spoon out to him with a smile on my face.

            “Did you make this?” He asked, taking the lid off just enough so he could smell what was inside.

            “Yep.” I popped the ‘P’ just as he took the spoon from my hands. “The Innkeeper’s wife helped.”

            I watched as he dipped the spoon into the hot broth and brought it to his lips. His gaze shifted to mine as he took the first bite. I looked away, hoping he wouldn’t see the blush that heated my cheeks. Maker’s Breath, even eating soup, the man looked handsome.

            “It’s good.” Cullen finally said as he took the second bite. And then a third. “It’s better than good- it’s fantastic.” I couldn’t stop the enormous grin that broke out across my face as I scooted closer to his side out of excitement.

            I started to tell him about everything we had done to make it. I explained the kick of flavor as well. I had accidentally knocked some hot spice into the soup as it was cooking. It had actually made it turn out better. It brought out flavors that weren’t there before.

            “I wasn’t sure if you liked spicy food or not.” I added, just as he tipped the bowl to his lips and drank the remaining broth.

            “Not usually, no.” He answered.

             He placed the spoon in the bowl and, after replacing the lip, started wrapping it back up. After he finished, he handed the bundle back to me. As I took it, our hands brushed. I quickly pulled the bowl from his hands, smiling graciously.

            “But it was excellent all the same.” To emphasize, he patted his stomach. His antic made me laugh. “Thank you.” His voice dipped a bit lower as he said his thanks.

            Both of my hands gripped the knot of the bundle tightly. I nearly jumped out of my skin when his hand rested on top of mine. It sent my heart drumming loudly in my ears. His eyes left mine for a breath of a moment, dipping to look lower on my face. I bit at the corner of my lip, out of nervousness, and his gaze darkened.

            Suddenly, he was on his feet. A hand was raking through his hair. His breathing was quick. I slowly rose from the rock as well. Without a word, I picked up a piece of my skirt with my free hand and curtseyed. As I turned and started walking, I heard Cullen speak up behind me.

            “Would you care to go for a walk?” I stopped turning to face him. His hand was resting on the back of his neck. “Later, of course. I have to meet the newest Templar recruits soon.” We stood several feet from one another, just looking at each other.

            “If you don’t-” Cullen started, rubbing harshly at his neck.

            “I’ll be here at dusk.” I smiled when I saw his face soften when I agreed to see him.

            “Until then, Lady Ashlyn.” He pressed his fist to his breastplate and bowed to me.

            “Commander.” The smile on my face shone through my tone as I returned his bow with a curtsey.

            I made my way back to the main gates, a spring in my step that hadn’t been before. Our happy moments together had been much better than any cut scene I had seen before. They were becoming more frequent and I liked it.

            “Lady Ashlyn, a word?” I almost dropped the bowl in my hands when Archer called to me.

            He was standing just at the bottom of the steps leading to the town. I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t seen him before then. Was I that drawn in thought that I wasn’t paying attention to anything else?

            “Yes, Herald?” I calmed my pace and walked up to him, waving hello to a winking Iron Bull.

            “You’re adjusting well.” I wasn’t sure if Archer was asking a question, or a statement.

            “I’ve made a lot of friends.” I told him excitedly. “I learned how to cook from the Innkeeper’s wife and-”

            “That’s wonderful.” He didn’t seem to be paying attention to what I was saying. His green eyes was watching the recruits. “I wanted to ask you about the Commander.”

            “Commander Cullen?” At the mention of him, I turned and scanned through the recruits as well.

             Cullen wasn’t hard to spot. His deep brown pauldrons framing his strong armored shoulders. Blonde head was dipped low as he reviewed paperwork and talked to a man to his right at the same time. The man wore the Templar symbol on the chest of his armor.

            “The one and only.” I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and focused back on Archer. “Is he treating you well?” I looked at him questioningly.

            “We’ve worked out our differences.” I answered.

            “Oh, that’s good to hear then.” Archer’s tone changed and he turned to start back up towards Haven. “Carry on.”

            “Is everything alright?” I asked, knowing even before I asked that something was off with him.

            “Yes, of course.” He said over his shoulder, not even turning to look at me.

            “I hope this isn’t you’re A-Grade lying skills here because I’ll be the first to tell you that it’s very bad.” That made the Herald stop.

            Turning on his heels, he stared at me as he descended the stairs. With every step he took, his smile grew a bit more. Until he was toe to toe with me. Then it was obvious at the crooked grin he had on his face.

            “Are you free?” Archer asked me suddenly.

            “Till dusk, Cu- the Commander asked for an audience later tonight.” I felt my cheeks go rosey.

            I’d almost slipped up. I almost called the Commander by his name in front of Archer. I hadn’t even called Cullen by his real name to him. No matter how close it seemed we were growing, it still wasn’t enough. I knew I needed more time and trust to get Cullen to let me in closer. If he wanted me to be closer to him at all. Would he ever-?

            “Then I can steal you away till then.” I jumped as Archer broke my trail of thought. Twice in one day, that couldn’t be a good sign. “Come on.” He held out his arm for me to loop mine through.

            As Archer turned me away, I stole a glance over my shoulder. Just as the Commander himself had done the same to look at me. It was brief, and he had looked away first but, it was enough. I knew something had to be there.

               


	12. Closer Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archer has a suprise for Ash while Cullen finally bares his soul a bit.. Which will Ash accept more?

            The Herald led us to the stables. I spotted his horse immediately. Archer named the beast Barlow, and the dark brown horse stood several hands taller than the rest. I reached for Barlow, who happily whinnied when I rubbed his forehead. As I gave Barlow a carrot treat from a sack near his pin, I spotted a new addition to the stables.

            It was a Hart from the Dalish. It had to be. The horse had lean muscles. Its fur was a pale brown with a twinge of red. I stepped to the front of the Hart’s pin and leaned my arms on the wooden gate. The Hart immediately noticed me, perking its head up. It had more than twenty prongs on its horns, making a beautiful arrangement above its head.

            I turned when I heard someone approach. Archer stood beside his horse, carrying two sets of harnesses. I immediately knew what he meant to do and was quick to object.

            “Ser, I’ve never ridden before.” I said embarrassedly. I loved horses and horses seemed to love me. That didn’t mean, however, that I had ever ridden one.

            “It’s easy.” Archer laughed, stepping into Barlow’s pin.

            The horse to the bit into its mouth and let Archer tie it onto his head. Next, he threw a blanket on the horses back before throwing the saddle on top. As Archer got his horse ready, a stable boy was in the Hart’s pin, getting it prepped for a rider as well. Archer led Barlow from his pin by the reigns. I followed behind and the Hart with the stable boy was pulling the rear.

            When we reached the outdoors, I stopped to look at the Hart. It was even more beautiful in the light of day. Shaking its head powerfully, it broke the hold the stable boy had on its reigns. With powerful steps, the Hart started walking cautiously towards me. I spotted the blonde stripes on the hind legs. It was a Red Hart, a very special mount.

            Ever so slowly, I rose my hand as the Hart grew closer to me. Until finally, it was just out of hand’s reach. It sniffed the air around my hand. When it paused it’s smelling, I pressed my open palm on its nose. The Hart let out a huff of breath once, before taking another step towards me.

            “Her name is Celandine.” Archer told me. I wasn’t able to take my eyes off her.  

            “She’s beautiful.” I breathed.

             With some help from the stable boy, I was able to mount the Hart on my first try. Celandine whinnied when I settled into the saddle. She stepped around a bit before shaking her head and settling down. I patted her neck affectionately.   

             “I’m glad you like her.” I looked over at Archer. It was strange for him to be the same height as me. “Because she’s yours.” It took me a moment to realize what he had said.

             “Dig your heels and click your tongue to get her going.” He laughed at my gawked face as he trotted around me.

             “W-Wait!” I called after him. He had already started off into the woods on Barlow.

              I looked down at Celandine. She shook her head again before peeking around her antlers at me. Her black eyes shined with understanding as she took the first few steps on her own. I gripped tightly to the reigns and did as Archer suggested. That sent the Hart into a trot after Barlow.

              It didn’t take me long to catch back up to him. Archer and I made small talk as he lead the way to wherever we were heading. Celandine did most of the steering. She somehow knew that I had no idea what I was doing. I could have completely let go of the reigns, and she’d still walk close beside Barlow.

             Archer and I talked about some of the letter he had received from other places. Most of them asking that the Herald expose himself as the traitor everyone thought he was. I reassured him that after he got more accomplished for the Inquisition, the more people would come to like him. Just as I finished my sentence, Archer pulled Barlow into a stop. The sight before us left me gaping.

             “I didn’t know there was a waterfall near Haven.” I sputtered.

            The weather was warm enough that the water still babbled over the edge of the tall cliff above us. It splashed down into the pond below it. The edges of the narrow river had a thin layer of ice on it. Large rocks sat imbedded into the ground close to the large part of the pond. I tied Celandine’s reigns up close to Barlow and followed after Archer. He perched himself on one of the large rocks. I sat on one that was beside his.

            “You didn’t see it in your prophecies?” Archer motioned with his hand towards the beautiful scenery.

             I looked down at my hands. They sat one on top of the other. I curled them tightly and let out a deep sigh. As I looked back up at him, I shook my head, trying to smile. His face had turned serious. Leaning on his elbows, how armor scraped as he tilted towards me.

             “How do you know all the events to unfold?” I knew by the tone of his voice that he was ready for serious answers. There was a pause between us before I spoke.

            “This world, this entire place-” I took a deep breath. More to steady myself than catch my breath.

            I delved into the story, starting at the very beginning. Rynn Cousland, a red-haired beauty who specialized in dual wielded weapons. Being a Warden in Ostagar and fighting alongside Alistair. How we had taken down the Archdemon and Morrigan’s baby was the one that bared the demon’s lost soul. Then how Rynn and Alistair got married and became the Queen and King of Fereldan. Archer confirmed that the Queen’s maiden name was, indeed, Rynn Cousland.

            Next, I told him the story of my Champion of Kirkwall. Farrah Hawke, also a dual wielding rogue. She sided with the Mage Rebellion, only until things were going too far. When Meredith had gone too far, she stood with Knight Captain Cullen against her. The explosion of the Kirkwall Chantry had been Anders’ doing, and how she didn’t have the heart to kill her only mage friend. She had also somehow fallen head over heels in love with a grumpy elf named Fenris.

            Then I explained the Inquisition. Or what I could tell. I didn’t feel comfortable telling him everything that was about to come. I didn’t want to tell him one thing, and then it change completely. I still had no clue where I fit into the equation- how or why I had been brought here.

             “You weave quite a tale.” Archer said after I got done talking. IT was the only thing he had said the whole time I was talking.

            “I suppose it is a tale- a story.” I sighed, slapping my palms against my legs as I stood up.

            “But it’s helping the Inquisition now, so that’s all that matters.” Walking over to the water’s edge, I stared out at the calmness of it.

            “We appreciate everything you’ve done so far.” I heard crunching behind me. “Myself especially.” Archer’s voice was growing closer the more he talked. I just didn’t want to face him.

            “Thank you, Lady Ashlyn.” My skin prickled when I felt his warm breath over my ear and neck.

            He kept himself close behind me for quite a while. His chest plate kept brushing against my back. I didn’t know what to do. If I moved away, he might get upset. At the same time, I wasn’t entirely comfortable with him so close to me.

            “Let’s head back.” Archer said suddenly. I turned in tine to see him almost back to Barlow.

            I quickly went to Celandine and mounted on my first try. I reached forward and patted her head affectionately. She tilted her head towards my hand and made a sound in her throat. Archer and Barlow started walking on the trail we had come from. Celandine followed sure-footedly.

            When we reached the edge of Haven, Archer had told me a joke. Something about a dwarf and a pick axe. I laughed loudly and he laughed with me, most likely laughing at me. The awkwardness that had been around us earlier was gone. It was nice to just spend time with someone. We were walking back to the stables on our steeds still when someone shouted my name.

            “Lady Ashlyn?” My head whipped around to the voice, as did Celandine. My smile broadened when I spotted the fur pauldron wearing Commander.

            “Commander!” I waved openly to him. He stood in place, his mouth a bit slack. He recovered quickly, crossing his arms across his chest.

            I dismounted Celandine and walked her to the stables. A few stable boys tried to take her reigns from me but the Hart wouldn’t allow it. I took off her saddle and blanket and brushed her briskly. As I left, she nudged me with her nose.

            “It seems you’ve grown on me as much as I have on you.” I told her, wrapping my arms around her head. I rubbed my forehead against hers. Placing a kiss on her forehead, I exited the pin after giving her a few treats.

            I spotted the Commander standing just outside the exit of the stables. He was standing with Archer, and they were deep in conversation. When I stepped outside, both men stopped to look at me. I stepped towards Cullen without glancing at Archer.

            “Ready for our walk?” I saw the Commander’s gaze flicker to Archer for a moment before nodding curtly at me.

            We said our goodbye’s to the Herald and started towards the woods. Passing his recruits, I heard more than a few men whistle as we passed. It was common when any woman that was under the age of 60 would pass them. I just took it with stride and kept walking. The Commander, on the other hand, moved to walk between myself and the recruits and barked at them to get back to training.

            His possessive move made me smile. Part of it had been to show his men that he was not someone to trifle with. The other, was to show them that I was off limits. I was both thankful and giddy that he did it everything the men gave me unwanted attention. It kept them off my back, and showed me that the Commander actually cared, even if just a little bit.

            “That’s a beautiful mount.” I looked over at Cullen when he spoke. We had just broken the tree line.

            “Yes, she is.” I stated, smiling as I thought of the Hart lounging in the stables.

            “I heard the Herald brought her for you all the way from the Dalish camps.” He mused aloud.

            The Dalish? I thought they were all in Orlais? That meant he had brought Celandine nearly across the whole continent. For me. I shook my head at the thought. Turning to face Cullen, I caught him just as he was about to talk.

            “You-” He stumbled when our eyes met.

            “Yes?” I asked, tilting my head to the side in question.

            “Nothing.” Cullen mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

            “Oh.” I said, making him sigh loudly.

            There was tension in the air between us as we walked our usual trail around the forest and back to the camps. As we walked, I spotted a herd of druffalo. It was small, with only a few females and one male. There was also a newly born baby druffalo who was enjoying rolling in the snow. I pointed out the happily sprawling youngling to Cullen and watched the corner of his lips quirk up in a small smile.

            We watched the baby for a few minutes before moving on. Before I knew it, we were back in Haven. And Cullen still hadn’t spoken more than two words to me after telling me about Celandine’s origin. We both stopped just before going through the trees. I stole a glance at Cullen, catching him looking at me.

            “I suppose I should head-” I took a step forward to start walking but was stopped.

            The touch was soft and leathery. I looked down at my hand that was grasped by Cullen’s. Following his arm up to his face, I met his gaze. My heart started drumming crazily in my chest.

            “You looked beautiful.” Cullen said after swallowing hard. His statement took my breath away.

            “Riding in on your new mount. Your hair was blowing in the breeze, a calm smile on your face.” His free hand ran through his hair as he spoke. “There was a shine in your eye that I’d never seen before. For a moment, I didn’t know it was you.” As his hand ran through his hair, he let it rest on the back of his neck.  

            “When I called out to you and you turned to me- it took my breath away.” Cullen closed the space between us. His hand that was holding mine the only thing between us.

            “ _You_ took my breath away.” His voice dropped an octave as his amber eyes gazed into mine.

            I couldn’t breathe. And even if I wanted to, I was sure that I couldn’t get my throat to open back up. He called me beautiful. Commander Cullen Rutherford had told me that I took his breath away. The hand that was on the back of his neck moved to rest on my upper arm. My heart clinched tightly at the soft touch.

            “Lady Ashlyn-” Cullen’s voice was a bit raspy as his eyes dropped lower than my eyes. If he kept this up, I was going to have a heart attack.

            “Just Ash- call me Ash.” I finally found my voice as I watched him lean just a fraction closer to me.

            “C-Command-.” I stuttered but stopped short when his hand resting on my upper arm lowered and grabbed my other hand. The trail his gloved fingertips made on my arm left my whole body feeling warm.

            “Cullen.” He said as he tightened his hold on my hands. “Please call me Cullen.”

            We stood like that for a moment before he released both of my hands and took a step back. His hand were clenched tightly at his sides. I nervously took the corner of my lip in my teeth. Cullen let out a growl like sound and started back towards the camp. I quickly followed in his wake, trying to catch my breath.

            He started towards the tents and campfire his recruits had made in preparation for the night. The sun was almost done setting by the time we had returned.

            “Goodnight, Cullen.” I called after the Commander just before he got out of ear-shot.

            Stopping in his tracks, he slowly turned to me. When his eyes met mine, I smiled warmly at him and dipped into a curtsey. When I rose from the bow, he was returning the gesture with a bow of his own.

            “Sweet dreams, Ash.” My heart jumped as he said my nickname for the first time.

            I made the first move as I turned towards the gates of Haven. I did it quickly, so he wouldn’t see the huge grin on my face.


	13. You what me to do what?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn is offered a wonderful chance to explore outside of Haven for the first time. There's only one thing that's standing in her way. More like someone wearing fur pauldrons.

            _All I could see were glittering lights everywhere._

_They twinkled like stars all around me. Around each of the twinkling was the outline of a flower arrangement. People stood on either side of me but, left the path directly in front of me cleared. Looking around, I could tell my vision was a bit obstructed. I glanced down and touched my outfit._

_The dress I was wearing was floor-length and white. With a beautiful silk design, it felt like I was wearing a soft blanket. I realized that there was a white veil over my face. Someone to my left touched my arm and I looked up at them. Iron Bull wrapped my arm around his and started guiding me down the cleared path._

You look beautiful, _he whispered to me as we walked._

_All I could do was smile up at him and tighten my hold on his hand. The burning of tears pricked the back of my eyes when I looked ahead and saw the outline of the man waiting at the altar for me. Just a few steps more, and I would see the face of my fiancé. The man that was to be my husband was-._

            “Wake up, Little Horns!”

            My eyes flew open, heart racing and body moving before I could realize what I was doing. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor with my blankets tangled around my body. My back and hip started to ache from the tumble. I saw a shadow cast over me and looked up with a start.

            “Jesus!” I yelped, pulling my blanket up around my shoulders. Most night, I wore my tank top combo and a pair of loose pants Thema had gotten for me from some of the clothing stock pile. Most people saw it as indecent sleep-wear but it was comfy to me.

            “Bull!” I hollered at the Qunari that was leaning over my bed, giving me a questioning look.

            “Who’s Jesus?” He asked as I picked up my pillow from beside me and threw it at his face. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even see the fluffy projectile coming at him until it hit him square in the face.

            “Get out!” I shouted at him.

            “What’s going-” Another voice came from the door and my anger flared again as I scrambled to my feet, keeping myself covered up.

            “GET OUT!” I screeched like a Banshee.

            “I forgot how feisty you are in the morning.” I glared up at the Iron Bull as he placed a hand on my head, ruffling my already crazy hair.

            “You’re awful, you know that?” I laughed, not being able to stay mad at him for long.

            “But you love me.” He waggled his eyebrows at me. I just rolled my eyes in response.

            “Come on, Boss wanted to see you.” Bull said as he start for the door.

            “Alright.” I grumbled, running my fingers through my hair.

            It was usually a rat’s nest first thing in the morning. I knew it was even worse after Bull had messed it up. Brushing it out the best that I could, I let it fall over my shoulder in its natural waves. Next I put on my dress. It was a challenge to do it alone but I managed. I had done it on more than one occasion.

            When I started to part my hair to do my usual braid, I thought against it. It was time for a bit of a change. I left the full hair down and flowing. It would help keep my neck warm when I finally ventured outside. I slid on my shawl and started for the door. As I turned to pull the door shut behind me, I spotted a figure leaning against the wall beside my room.

            “Good morning.” I chimed to Sera. She continued picking at her nails, totally ignoring me. As I breezed past her, she took to walking behind me.

            “Morning you lil’ shite.” She told me. I just shook my head, smiling.

            “Love you too.” I told her as she snorted. We made small talk as she walked me to the War Room.

            Once I got to the door, we said our goodbyes. With the promise of meeting up later to see what mayhem we could cause, I entered the room laughing. I quickly realized the rest of the room was silent. Turning to face everyone else in the room, I felt the flush of embarrassment go up my cheeks when I saw all eyes were on me.

            I took my spot beside Archer and shot them all a coy smile when they laughed at my shyness. When my eyes landed on Cullen, his smile was a bit broader than the others. I shot him a fuller smile in response. Things between us were good. Really good.

            “Cassandra, Varric, Blackwall and I are going to Val Royeaux to attend a party being held by First Enchanter Vivienne.” Archer said after the laughter had died down and we got down to business.

            “She has asked for our Herald personally.” I straightened my posture. His words were finally soaking in.

            “She wishes to join the Inquisition and you’d be stupid not to accept her help.” I told Archer when he turned to me. Without even asking, I knew he wanted my advice.

            “She is a powerful mage and almost as good as Josephine with dealings among the Orlesian court. She will be a strong ally.” I motioned to the Antivan as I spoke, catching her smile when I gave her more credit than Vivienne. I looked back over at Archer and my own smile fell a bit when I saw him watching me expectantly. “-but that’s not why you asked me here.”

            “I’d like for you to come with me.” He sounded cheerful as he asked but, the rest of the room dropped into silence.

            “Go to an Orlesian ball?” My voice came out a few octaves higher than I thought it would. I wasn’t sure if it was from excitement or anxiety.

            “No!” Cullen was the first of the advisors to speak up. “She’s not versed enough in Court ways to be ready-”

            “To see the Herald of Andraste with our Fallen Angel in one place will be extremely helpful to our cause.” Josephine mused aloud.

            “Fallen Angel?” I asked, tilting my head to the side in question.

            “That’s what the rumors have called you. An angel sent from heaven by the Maker himself to guide the Herald of Andraste down a path of faith.” Leliana spoke up as she read a statement from a scroll.

            “Oh you’re kidding.” I groaned.

            “She will be fine, Cullen.” Josephine told him as she spoke to a guard that had moved to her side. The man made for the door and vanished through it.

            “She can borrow one of Josie’s dresses- we’ll doll her up.” Leliana piped up as well. I refused to believe that I heard a tint of excitement in her tone.

            More planning was done, mostly done by Archer, Josephine and Leliana. I stood wringing my hands together and trying to get Cullen to look at me. His hand was gripping the hilt of his sword tightly as he looked over the maps on the table. I finally was about to speak up when the door opened again. The guard had returned, with my elven maid, Thema, in tow.

            “W-Wait!” I said nervously as I was swept from the room by Thema. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Cullen’s mouth was in a tight line. Not a good sign. “H-Hold on!”

            “Pack a few things, milady, you will be leaving within the hour.” Thema told me as she started guiding me towards my room in the lower levels of the Chantry building.

            Just before we went down the stairs, I saw a flash of maroon and fur. I stopped at the top of the stairs while Thema was a few steps down. The advisors had dispersed. Archer was talking to Mother Giselle. Leliana and Josephine disappeared into her office. Most likely to discuss more about the dress they kept referring to dressing me in. That left the fastly moving, armor clad blonde that was heading for the doors to be Cullen.

            “I need to go see someone.” I said as I started after him.

            “Would you like for me to pack for you?” She asked before I got too far.

            “If you’d like.” I hollered over my shoulder at her. “I’ll be right back.” I tightened the shawl across my shoulders and pushed open the door.

            “Cullen!” I called after him.

            By his still brisk pace, he either hadn’t heard me call for him or was ignoring me. Judging by the windless weather and his tightened posture, he had most certainly heard me.

            “Commander!” I picked up my skirt with one hand and started after him.

            Chucks of snow got kicked up under my boots as I tried to catch up to him. We were almost to the bonfire above the steps leading to outside the walls when he finally turned to face me. He stopped so quickly I didn’t have any time to stop. The snow under my boots was more like slush. It was like having a pair of socks on a hard wood floor. I put my hands out to brace myself.

            He adjusted his feet just in time so the both of us wouldn’t go crashing into the melting snow. My chest pounded into his, sending my breath whooshing from my lungs. My palms were sprawled across the front of his chest plate as I caught my breath. When one of Cullen’s hands brushed my hip, I knew it would be pointless to try and breathe. I looked up at him with a tentative smile.

            “Why did you agree to go?” His golden gaze matched his heated tone as he squeezed my upper arms. I hadn’t even realized his body had moved, except for the slight touch.

            “I didn’t have much a choice, as you clearly saw.” I told him defensively.

            I dropped my gaze from him. I heard Cullen let out a sigh, his grip tightened for a moment before letting me go altogether. When he took a step back, one hand dropped to his sword while the other went to rest on the back of his neck.

            “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” He let out another sigh as he spoke. “I just can’t keep an eye on you of your so far away.”

            “You don’t trust me to take care of myself?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips defiantly. It made a corner of his lips turn up in a half smile. It still did funny things to my already racing heart.

            “Not even for a moment.” Cullen couldn’t hide the amusement from his tone, or the chuckle that followed when my bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

            “Just be careful.” His tone turning serious, I met his gaze as he kept talking. I had to suppress my giggle as he started ticking off his statements with his fingers. “Take care of yourself, accept nothing from the people at the party, and watch your posture-”

            “I’ll be fine.” I reached forward and touched his hands before he could list anything else.

            All train of thought left him as he looked down at my hand on his. Then his eyes met mine, this time more emotion was there. He generally seemed concerned. There was something else that flashed across his face but, it was gone before I could tell what it was. We both looked towards the steps when we heard the neighing of a horse.

            “I should go” I dropped my hand from his and gave him a curtsey.

            He watched me as I walked past him. I went down the steps and saw my Hart, Celandine, with her all saddled up. Varric was holding her reigns, his hand raised to Celandine’s nose so she could sniff the dwarf. I steered myself towards the two when I heard Cullen speak up behind me. I didn’t even hear him walking behind me.

            “I’ll be awaiting your return.” I turned on my heels and gave him a smile, hoping he couldn’t tell how hard my heart was drumming in my chest. It seemed to reassure him some because the hardness of his face softened a bit. 

            “Come on Sunshine!”

            Giving Cullen a small wave, I went towards the story-telling dwarf.

            “Ready to go?” He asked when I reached a hand for Celandine’s reigns.

            I nodded, smiling at him as he went to get on his own horse. I rubbed Celandine’s neck. She took a step towards me and placed her cold nose on my exposed neck. I jumped at the contact. Laughing, I scratched her neck affectionately before looking back over at where Cullen was standing. He hadn’t moved. And his full smile left my insides in a puddles of molten goo.

            It distracted me so much that I only half heard Archer when he said it was time to head to Halamshiral.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you leave a comment, chances are I have responded to it! So be sure to check on the comments you leave. I love letting you know lil snippits of info and telling you all how amazing you are!!


	14. Imperial Enchanter Vivienne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor and his companions arrive at the Orlesian ball that is being hosted by Vivienne. But can Ash survive first taste of the Grand Game?

“I wasn’t expecting all of this.” Was all the words I could form as we stepped into the hall of one of the richest Orlesian court houses in all of Orlais?  


“Just breath, you’ll be fine.” I felt Archer squeeze my arm that was wrapped tightly around his, comfortingly. Closing my eyes for a moment, I took a deep breath and took in the vast and beautifully decorated home.  


Lord Bastin’s house was as extravagant as I remembered first seeing it but it looked twice as rich standing among it in real life. The carpet at our feet with plush and soft, diamond printed tiles that looked like they might actually have diamonds in them and paintings hung from the wall by skilled artists.  


I all but death gripped Archer’s arm as he guided me through the large blue double doors of the main hall. I was working hard at making myself not shake while he led us across the floor. When we reached a few steps, Archer took a step from my side and watched as I picked up a piece of my dress, delicately as Josie had taught me hours before, so I wouldn’t trip on it. Grasping one of my hands as he walked at my side.  


“You look lovely, by the way.” I knew he was saying it to catch me off guard, which always worked, but I actually felt as pretty as he complimented.  


“Let’s just get this over with, Josie tightened this thing too tight.” I mumbled, shifting my shoulders as I straightened my posture at the top of the stairs, making the Herald laugh at my side.  


My arm looped back through his and we walked side by side into the hall. We must have looked quite the couple because all eyes were on us. Not that you could particularly tell with everyone wearing masks but, it felt that way. Archer rested his hand on mine looped through his arm and gave it a soft squeeze.  


I looked up at him, smiling warmly as I could with my nerves on edge as they were. His easy smile and lazy gaze that dipped to my painted lips made me turn from him quickly before a blush crept up my cheeks.  


There was a well-dressed man and woman not far from the entrance that were talking and I felt him steer us towards them when a loud voice called our names, announcing us to the whole house, to those who didn’t know we were already there.  


“Master Trevelyan and Lady Maddox of the Inquisition.” I jumped at the loud voice, and the way Archer leaned into me.  


“I didn’t know your surname was Maddox.” He mused as we neared the man and woman, whose attention was fully on us now.  


“There’s quite a bit you didn’t know then.” I answered. I gave him a flash of a coy smile before we halted in front of the couple.  


“A pleasure, Ser. It is always nice to see someone new. It is always the same crowd at these parties.”  


“What a delectable date you brought with you, Herald.” The man zeroed in on me.  


His mask was golden, and had a rather pointed nose with upturned eyeholes. When he saw that I was looking at him, he stepped away from the woman. The masked man dipped into a low bow. I gave him a curtsey and we rose at the same time. I glanced over to see Archer in conversation with the lady. He took a step forward and closed the space between us. Reaching his hand out, he grabbed ahold of one of mine and brought it to his lips.  


“What is your name, my dear?” His voice was rough, like he was attempting to make it sound husky.  


“Lady Ashlyn Maddox, ser.” I suppressed my giggle at the man’s silliness.  


“Ah, our Fallen Angel.” I sobered a bit as his grip on my hands tightened. “May I get you a drink?” He offered, motioning to the drinks table.  


“No, thank you.” As I answered, I thought of Cullen and his advice to get my own drinks. Were date-rape drugs even a thing in this time period? I didn’t want to find out.  


“Are you taken?” I was pulled from my thoughts by the man’s odd question. When I didn’t answer right away, he elaborated. “Courted, in a relationship?”  


“N-No.” I felt the heat of the blush that raced up my neck and cheeks.  


I could see behind the man’s mask that his eyes lit up. I quickly saw the error in my answer. The simple ‘no’ had set me up to be harassed by every available, and unavailable, man in the room. I had forgotten how the Game was played. And I had made myself an unintentional sexual pawn in it.  


“Then I am-” The man started to introduce himself but was stopped just in time.  


“The Inquisition, what a load of pig shit.” As soon as I heard the insults, I knew what was coming next.  


All eyes were on the man descending the stairs. He wore what just about every other Orlesian was wearing. Golds, blues and white. As he kept walking, I moved to stand closer to Archer just as he took a step back towards me. Glancing over his shoulder, he made sure that I was standing behind him before looking back at the man.  


“Everyone knows it’s just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power.” The man ended his rant after passing us. He stopped to stand just a few paces before us.  


Archer gave the man clipped words in return. It was rebutted by a snide remark and the man closing the space between himself and Archer. I watched at the muscles in Archer’s back tensed. He was reading for a fight.  


“If you were a real man, you’d step outside and face the charges.”  


Archer pushed me behind him as the man in front of us reached for a sword at his back. Just as his hand closed around the hilt, a burst of bluish white burst across his chest, spreading to his whole body and making him shiver in place. He could still move slightly but the obvious ice spell was holding him in place.  


“My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my house- to my guests.” A silky voice I quickly recognized boomed through the hall and all eyes went to a set of stairs just behind the now frozen man.  


Lady Vivienne walked down the stairs with so much grace, her own body engulfed in an icy haze from using her magic on the Marquis. Her chocolate colored skin shined healthily as she wore her elegant, white and gold outfit. I felt my body jolt in excitement to see the Imperial Enchanter.  


“You know such rudeness is intolerable.” She said silkily as she moved around the Marquis to face the two of us.  


“My Lord, you are the wounded party in this unfortunate affair. What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?”  


Archer looked down at me as I poked my head around his shoulder. Grabbing his upper arm, I gave it a squeeze and shook my head. He knew that I knew what the consequences of either action would be. And honestly, I didn’t have the stomach to watch the man get blown up.  


“I think the Marquis has seen the error of his ways.” Archer said as he faced Vivienne.  


“By the grace of Andraste- and that sweet woman behind our Herald-.” She turned to me, winking, before looking back at the man at her fingertips. And at the snap of her fingers, than man was free. “You have your life, my dear. Do be more careful with it.” With his head dipped in shame, and coughing loudly, the Marquis headed straight for the exit.  


“I’m delighted you both could attend this little gathering. I’ve so wanted to meet you.” Vivienne smiled graciously at the both of us before turning around. As she started to walk away, I knew that was the signal for us to follow.  


“I’ll stay here, just agree with everything she says.” I whispered to Archer before he could get too far away.  


“Are you sure?” He whispered back.  


“I’ll be fine.” I nodded, giving him a thumbs up. He looked at my hand and rose an eyebrow questioningly at it. Before I could explain to him about it, he was too far away.  


“Your dress is extremely lovely, Lady Maddox.” I turned on my heels and bowed slightly to the woman paying the compliment as I felt another woman touch one of my curls.  


My long hair was curled perfectly down my back with the parts just above my ears twisted and held from my cheeks with royal blue flower pins. A dusting of glitter above my eyes and charcoal black eyeliner gave my golden brown eyes a glow I’d never thought so little makeup could give.  


The dress that Josephine gave me made me raise an eyebrow at her. The blush that marred her cheeks made the lady-in-waiting and I giggle at her until she stuttered about it being a funny gift from her sisters and threatened to smother us with the garment.  


It looked like the dress maker cut a piece of the night sky and stitched it together, cutting the fitting low and giving it a high slit up the right thigh. It was strapless and was held up with the laced corset that had a silver embroidered pattern along the top edge. The corset stopped at my lower waist and then the beautiful material flowed freely, showing of my lean legs and the simple silver heels that went with the outfit.  


“Thank you.” I smiled and talked with the nobles as best I could, trying to answer as many of their questions as possible.  


“Is it Antivan?” I heard a woman ask from behind me as she continued to coo over my perfect hair.  


“Yes, I believe so.” I answered, gaining her full attention.  


“You must give me the name of your designer!” The women chirped as other voices asked more questions.  


I blew at a stray curl that fell in my face and patiently answered all the questions. When I spotted the familiar dwarf walking by, I immediately excused myself. It took a few minutes to finally step away from the crowd that had grown around me. I calmly walked to Varric, who had two glasses of something bubbly in his hands.  


When I got close to him, he dropped into a half bow and he offered me one of the glasses he had. His normal clothing looked a bit too rough amongst all the silk and lace but, it was a welcoming sight. I’d take leather and steel over lace trim any day.  


“If the Commander were here now, Sunshine, you’d be in a lot of trouble.” I looked down at Varric just before I took a sip from the glass.  


“I thought I handled myself very well though.” I frowned at the idea that I hadn’t done everything right. Except telling that one man that I was single.  


“It has nothing to do with your manners.” When his eyes moved from my face and down my body, I instantly blushed. “And everything to do with that dress.” It grew deeper at the thought of Cullen looking at me in that way. When I went to look back at Varric, the story-teller was circling me.  


“What are you doing?” My nerves were obvious in my voice as I spoke to him.  


“I’ve got to get every detail of you to tell Cullen about later.” I laughed at him when he looked up at my and gave me a signature wink. “He’s going to be very upset that he can’t get an eyeful of this.” I downed the rest of my drink just as Vivienne and Archer started towards us.  


The introduction between Vivienne and Varric was quick and formal. I didn’t even know he could be so serious for those few moments that he spoke to Vivienne. After rounding up Blackwall and Cassandra, we started to make our leave. Blackwall piped up, asking if it was alright for the hose to leave her own party. She easily answered that the party usually went on without her anyway, whether she was present or not.  


“Welcome to the Inquisition Lady Vivienne.” I said to her when her attention turned to me. I gave her my best curtsy, grabbing at my skirt and dipped low, with a straight back. When I rose again, Vivienne was smiling at me.  


“The pleasure is all mine, Angel.”


	15. I Am The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn and the others finally return to Haven. But what most people don't realize, is that not every day and night is spent brooding over the dark future. Sometimes it's spent having fun. Mostly in the form of dance.

            By the time we reached Haven again, I was exhausted. Both physically and mentally. I could even feel Celandine under me dragging a bit as she walked. I rubbed the beast’s neck and heard her whinny lightly. The sun had almost completely set when we reached the Haven stables. A small group of people were there to greet us. One of them specifically being the Commander.

            “Welcome back” Josephine was the first to greet us when we all started unsaddling.

            My legs were so tired, that when I threw myself off the saddle, my feet couldn’t hold myself up. I started to stumble backwards. I thought for sure that I was going to fall flat on my back when I felt strong arms stop my stumbling. Looking straight up, my face blossomed with a hot blush when I saw it was Cullen that had caught me.

            “Is she alright?” Leliana leaned over to look at my face.

            I quickly stood up, brushing invisible dust from my riding pants and walking up to Celandine. I let the Hart nuzzle my neck with her cold nose. Anything to make it so no one could see the bright blush that still marred my cheeks.

            “She’s just grumpy.” Archer chimed in. I immediately rolled my eyes and chuckled lightly. Facing the group, I motioned to our fearless leader and shook my head.

            “I could have done without his infernal singing.” I said innocently but still heard a gasp from the man in question.

            “Cassandra enjoyed my singing.” Archer said, turning to the Seeker as she pulled on the reigns of her horse.

            “It sounded like a dying druffalo.” We all got a good laugh in at that. Varric and I especially since that was exactly what we kept calling him behind his back. Cassandra handed the reigns over to a stable boy before turning to the rest of us. “I’m going to rest.” She spoke, not saying anything more before turning to head for her tent. It sounded like a wonderful idea to me as well.

            “I think I will too.” I spoke up as everyone started to scatter back to do whatever they were doing before. “No more Orlesian balls for me.” I said mostly to myself as I pulled Celandine into the barn.

            Cullen started back towards the recruits but stopped when he saw me walking. I glanced up at him and saw him nod at me, a relieved look on his face. Like he was happy to see me. I gave him a nod back, while trying to fight off my smile. He walked away after that, and I put Celandine in her pin. She immediately laid down, curling her legs under her and rested her head on the straw to take a well-earned nap.

            I all but dragged my half asleep body up the step and to the Chantry building. I had to pay special attention to the stairs as I descended them to the lower level. Leaning beside my door was a familiar face. One I realized wasn’t with the rest of the welcome party.

            “Sera!” I smiled sleepily at her as I neared her. I couldn’t help the yawn that left my lips after I said the elf’s name.

            “You like that piss-water event?” She asked, pushing herself off the wall when I walked to the door, pushing it open.

            “It was awful.” I groaned, flopping face first into my mattress. I heard her loud footsteps enter the room behind me. As soon as I settled into the mattress, I felt myself start to drift off to sleep.

            “Your man missed you something awful, kept dragging his boots and checking the path for you guys to get back.” I was wide awake at her statement. Pushing myself off the bed, I turned to face her, as she stood close to the door.

            “Who are you-?” I asked but was cut off.

            “You know exactly who I mean, you twat.” It took a heartbeat for her words to sink in.

            “Cullen is not my man!” My voice was an octave high than normal as I denied her accusation.

            “String him along like he is.” She chortled. Closing the space between us, she took a seat beside me on the mattress. Sera sat down so roughly that the whole bed rocked, nearly throwing me from it. She leaned in close and moved her eyebrows suggestively. “Got a piece of him yet?”

            “Sera!” I felt my face heat up again as I slapped the now laughing elf’s arm.

            “Keep your modesty, I suppose. But everyone can see those bedroom eyes you give him when he’s not looking.” She launched herself from the bed when I went to smack her again.

            “Shut up!” I laughed, reaching for my pillow and putting it above my head. I was ready to launch it at her if need be. “I’m taking a nap.” I told her, flopping on my side back into the bed.

            “Right- I’m going to get into trouble.” I waved a hand at her as I heard the door start to shut. I wasn’t surprised, she was always getting into something.

            I wasn’t even sure if I had the pillow tucked under my head completely when I fell asleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

            Several loud knocks on my door sent me jolting from the bed. I looked around the dark room, trying to see anything. Looking up at my window, I could see the sun was gone from the sky. Just as I rose from the bed, a few more knocks came from the door.

            “Come in!” I said, stretching my whole body out.

            The door opened slowly and a candlestick came into the room first, followed by the person holding it. My heart jumped when I saw the candlelight glimmer off the chest plated armor and made the fur pauldrons shine. The soft light made his golden eyes shimmer as he scanned the room until his eyes fell on me.

            “What if I had been some intruder?” He joked, pushing the door the rest of the way open and stepping inside.

            “Then at least I wouldn’t feel the painful death awaiting me.” I answered, seeing him smile at me when I grinned at him.

            “I thought you might want to have dinner.” I turned to look back out the window.

            “It’s dinner time already?” I asked, already knowing that with the falling sun came the nightly soup.  “How long was I asleep?” I questioned as I faced Cullen again.

            “A few hours- you looked like you needed the sleep.” His eyes dropped to my hands as I ran my fingers through my hair.

            “Give me a moment to change.” I piped up. His eyes snapped back up to my face. He nodded and left the lit candlestick on the table close to the door before closing it behind him.

            I walked to the chest that Josie had left in my room after finding the midnight colored dress. She told me that I could keep all the dresses inside, stating that they were not to her taste. Opening the lid, I dug around for the light gold dress I had eyed while she was throwing dresses from the trunk. If I had it my way, I would have worn it to the ball instead of the other.

            It was plain and sleek. It had no design on it beside a gold braided belt that rested on the hips. The sleeves were long and tapered at the wrists with a bit of excess fabric that bunched fashionably. I quickly stripped from my riding clothing and slid the dress over my head. The dress had a square neckline that was high enough to hide most of my cleavage. Slipping my boots on my feet, I left my hair down as I walked to the door. When I opened it, Cullen had his back to me. I turned to shove the door closed when he started talking.

            “I thought maybe you-” He stopped mid-sentence just as I turned to face him.

            I took a few concerned steps towards him when I noticed his dazed expression. Running my hands down my covered legs, I grabbed at the fabric of the dress and pulled each side out. It made the wide skirt fan out even more.

            “I promised Josie I’d wear it once.” I told him when he still stared at the plain but, elegant dress.

            Cullen quickly tried to compose himself. Clearing his throat and straightening his posture. One of his hands went to rest on the back of his neck as he rubbed the exposed skin there harshly. His eyes didn’t meet mine and, it was hard to tell for sure but, I thought I saw the dusting of a blush across his cheeks.

            “It’s a beautiful color.” His gaze rested on the wall behind me as he spoke.

            I suppressed my smile as I made for the stairs. Cullen started up the stairs after me and once we had reached the landing, offered me his arm as we walked. I rested my hand on his arm as it looped through his. We walked close together. It finally struck me how much taller Cullen was than me. The top of my head barely came over his shoulders.

            When we started towards the Inn, Cullen steered us towards the bonfire where everyone was gathered at. A few musicians were playing lutes and some flutes of various kinds. Everyone was singing, even some were dancing. Cullen unlooped our arms so we could move freely through the crowd. Once we had our dinner, we sat on a log near the fire and watched the festivities.

            I wasn’t sure if it was a special holiday, or if people were just happy but, I soaked in the joy happily. I laughed when Varric came up behind us and starting singing the song loudly in our ears. Iron Bull and the Chargers were chanting incoherently with beer steins in their hands. After we had finished our meal, we set our bowls down and clapped to the rhythm as more dancers joined in.

            As I laughed at the all-over splendor of the night, I caught something in the corner of my eye. Looking over at Cullen, he leaned his elbows onto his legs and was watching my openly. He had a large grin on his face that I couldn’t help but return. Just as he was about to say something to me, a shadow was cast over us, making us both look up.

            “Co-Commander Cullen?” A beautiful blonde haired woman wearing a well-worn tavern maid dress was wringing her hands nervously. One of my brows rose in question as I peered at the man in question in the corner of my eye. “May I have this dance?” I thought the poor girl was going to pass out just standing in his presence.

            “Oh, I’m afraid I don’t-” Cullen started to dish out an excuse before I nudged his side with my elbow.

            “He’d love to!” I answered for him, causing the girl to grin at me before facing Cullen.

            “What are you doing?” The Commander whispered harshly at me. He sounded distressed as the girl grabbed his hands and started pulling him up from his seat.

            “Making you enjoy yourself!” I laughed. I watched as the two got swept up in the flurry of dancers. I continued to clap, humming along to the tune of my music.

            “Milady?” I looked at the gloved hand that was being offered to me and followed the quilted tunic to the bearded Grey Warden.

            I was thrilled when Blackwall was finally recruited into the Inquisition. Don’t take me a fool, I knew of Blackwall’s lie. I knew that he wasn’t truly who he was telling everyone he was. But that didn’t make him any less of a good man. I never begrudged Blackwall for his decision and always forgave him when the time came. I just hoped I would be as prepared for it as I had been while playing the game, as I would have to be to witness is all first hand.

            “Of course.” I let Blackwall take my hand as he swept me off my feet and into the middle of the dancers.

            One of his hands rested on the small of my back, keeping my back straight. I knew from watching the other dancers that I needed to square my shoulders. Our bodies had a respectable space between them and his other hand held mine as we swung around to the beat of the music. All the other dancers were moving around us.

            I had never danced like this in my life. At high school dances, there was lots of grinding and awkward swaying. We were dancing more of a waltz pace. I wasn’t entirely sure how I was able to keep up with Blackwall but, I think it had more to do with he was really good at leading people on the dance floor

            “You’re quite the dancer, Blackwall.” I complimented, meeting his gaze.

            “I try to impress the ladies.” I could see the wide grin through his beard and laughed once again. Not soon after, the song ended and I curtseyed politely to Blackwall before heading back to my seat.

            “Lady Vivienne!” I called when I neared my seat to see the beautiful enchanter sitting regally.

            “Your posture needs work but you are a fine dancer for a woman not of this realm.” She said smoothly as I took a seat next to her.

            “I’ll take that as a compliment.” I smiled, shrugged.

            “You’ve done much good with your prophecy abilities.” Looking over at Vivienne, her gaze was on the people still dancing around the fire. I caught a glimpse of Varric with a human barmaid, wailing and laughing drunkenly. I didn’t even know the dwarf could get drunk. “But do you know how you ended up here?” I was thrown off a bit by her question.

            I would be lying if I told her I hadn’t thought about it myself. I didn’t remember anything about the trip through the Fade. All that I was able to piece together was one moment, I was in my room about to play the game and, then I was here. When I first came to, I remember telling Cassandra and the others about a female voice I had heard but it was like a faded dream.

            “Still a mystery, I’m afraid.” I sighed, feeling my mood deflate a bit at the deep thoughts.

            “That color does wonders for your skin tone, my dear.” When Vivienne’s tone perked up, I glanced at her. Her attention was fully on me and one of her hands was touching the fabric of the dress that was on the log.

            “We should get together sometime so I can make you some real gowns.” I jolted upright and looked at her, feeling both nervous and excited. Nervous at the crazy Orlesian fashion and what she might come up with but, excited because I knew it would look stunning no matter what.

            “Really?” I asked, smiling.

            “Of course; I love playing dress up with the perfect manikin.” I blushed at the compliment.

            “May I steal our Angel away?” Both of us turned to the man that had his hand out to me.

            I knew Cullen was only calling me ‘Angel’ to be comical but, it nearly stopped my heart. The way he said the nickname made it seem more like an endearment. My poor little heart could hardly stand the thought of it.

            Seeing him in a half bow, his hand that wasn’t being offered to me was resting in a fist against his chest plate. The way his eyes were glinted with something other than serious thought threw me off a bit. He looked like he was actually enjoying himself. Glancing at Vivienne, I saw her eyes divert away from us.

            “Of course, Commander.” Smiling, I dropped my hand in his.

            I hadn’t realized he took his gloves off until my chilled fingers rested on his warm palm. Looking down at our hands, I let him pull me from my seat. When I met his gaze, I couldn’t look away. I wasn’t sure if it was that gleam that I was so happy to see, or the way he only kept his eyes on me as he pulled me in front of him.

            The tempo of the music slowed considerably and only one of the lute player’s were strumming. The melody sounded familiar. I was trying to piece it together when Cullen took a step towards me. Just like Blackwall had, one hand rested on my back while the other held my hand up. Somehow, it felt more intimate with Cullen.

            There was no space between us, our chests close together. When I looked down to make sure that my feet were moving the right way, I felt the hand on my back pull me closer. I looked back up and felt myself get lost in Cullen’s eyes. It took me a moment to realize that I was staring at him.

            “Ready to thank me yet?” I asked him, feeling embarrassed for staring openly at the handsome man. What women with good taste in a man wouldn’t, though?

            “I’ll thank you once I get a feeling other than pain back into my feet.” He grumbled good naturedly. When I let out a soft laugh, I watched the smile grow on his lips. It made his scar look kissable. “Even then, I might not.” He went on.        

            “It couldn’t be that bad.” I said, still laughing. There was a pause in our conversation and I realized how I knew the song. It was one of the tavern songs. I started to hum with the beautiful tune.

_I am the one  
Who can recount what we’ve lost._

_I am the one  
Who will live on._

_I have run  
Through the fields of pain and sighs._

_I have fought  
To see the other side._

 

            “I did finally get to dance with you.” I was brought back to my senses when Cullen’s grip tightened even more on me. I looked up at him and came to the crashing realization that I cared for Cullen more than I wanted to admit. “It has made the rest of the evening worth it.”

            And gazing into his warm golden eyes, I gave myself the breath of hope that he cared for me as well. Even if it was only a little bit.

            “As it has mine.” I admitted honestly.


	16. Take a Stand, Inquisition.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to pick the Mage's or the Templar's. Archer and the other advisers rely heavily on Ashlyn for an answer. After giving her opinion, Leliana asks Ashlyn to go with Archer and the Inquisition forces. But she's never been on a battle field before. Who to better train her than the leader of the Inquisition forces?

            “What should we choose, Ash?” I rubbed my chin in thought as I looked down at the map on the War Room table.

            “You could choose either side, really.” I stated after some thought. Leaning forward, I pointed to the spot on the map where sources had told us the rebel Mages were at. “The mage’s are a no brainer choice, they have the magical abilities at their fingertips and make more than able to augment your mark.” I took a moment to look at each advisor.

            Archer stood close to my left, peering at the map in deep thought. Leliana had her knuckles pressed under her chin in thought. Cassandra’s arms were crossed over her chest. Josephine stood beside her, quill raised in preparation to write down our decision. Cullen stood to my right with his hands resting on the hilt of his sword.

            “On the other hand.” I continued, moving my finger across the map to Therinfal Redoubt, the location of a large number of Templars. “The Templars are just as capable. To be honest, I always sided with the Templars. They seemed easier to watch over once the Breach was closed.”

            “So we succeed in closing the Breach?” Cullen asked when I pulled away from the map.

            “If we keep doing as we are, then yes.” I told him, glancing at him before all of turned to Archer at the same time.

            “Best news I’ve heard so far.” The Herald stated, pushing himself from the table as well. “We ride to Therinfal Redoubt in a week’s time.” He ordered as he turned his attention to Josephine. Her quill was quick to move as he continued talking. “Until then, we gather supplies and begin packing for the battle to come.”

            “This is actually happening.” I breathed, running a hand over my hair. I saw Cullen look at me from the corner of my eyes. Looking over at him, I flashed him a relieved smile. “Were in the final steps of closing the Breach.” He nodded before moving to the exit.

            I went to leave as well when I felt a hand on my arm. Turning to the source, I rose an eyebrow at Leliana. Her gaze was behind me and I turned to look at what she was looking at. Cullen had stopped and was waiting for me to follow. I motioned him on and, after a breath of hesitation, started to head to the recruits outside.

            “A word please?” Leliana spoke softly to me when I didn’t turn around fast enough. I turned my full attention to the Spymaster as the door was shut behind us. She walked to her normal spot around the War table and I took up the spot across from her. “I’d like for you to ride with them to Therinfal.” I crossed my arms over my chest and looked down at the maps.

“You know as well as I do what this truly is: a trap.” I sighed before looking up at her.

            “I didn’t know if anyone would believe me.” I told her truthfully. “Either way, it’s a trap. But I believe it’s safer for everyone to take on the Templars.”

            “Go with them, warn them before the danger comes. That is the best way to make sure they believe you.” I laughed non-comically, blowing a piece of hair out of my face in the process.

            “When the danger is already smacking them in the face, sounds like a wonderful idea.” I said sarcastically. I knew she had a point. There was really no real way to prepare them for either trap that was to come. But a physical attack was easier to defend against than a magical one.

            “I’ll go with them.” I agreed after a second of thought.

            “Until then, I’m having the Commander teach you as much self-defense as he can before your time to leave.” At the mention of Cullen, my eyes shot up to Leliana. Before it was hidden by her signature stone face, I thought I saw the glimpse of a smile. “You don’t mind being a bit up close and personal, do you?”

            She didn’t give me the chance to attempt a stumbled together an answer before starting for the exit. I followed behind her quickly and we walked outside into the bitter cold together. Over her shoulder, she told me to report to Cullen after I changed into something more move permitting.

I went back into the Chantry and changed into the pants and tunic top I had been given during our ride to Orlais. It was as close as I could get to something to train in. After fully dressed and my hair was pulled up in a bun on top of my head, I started for where I knew Cullen would be. With his recruits, of course.

            When I got close, I looked around for the maroon and fur but couldn’t find it. Another scan of the recruits and still, he was nowhere in sight. Maybe he had made a stop after leaving the meeting? I would have seen him, unless he went-

            “Shall we get started?” I jumped at the voice so close behind me.

            I twirled around on my heels and my jaw almost fell to the snow. Standing before me was Cullen but, it wasn’t Cullen. He wasn’t wearing maroon and fur like he usually did. Actually, he wasn’t wearing any kind of armor at all. His tunic was a light tan while his pants were a darker shade of tan with his boots that didn’t have the bracers on them. His hair was a bit disheveled from changing but, I wasn’t about to say anything to him about it. He looked absolutely perfect.

            It wasn’t until he turned around and started walking away that I shook my head and started after him. The view from behind was even better without all the armor. Cullen started walking into the forest. Silently I followed a few paces behind him. When he finally stopped, I did as well.

            “Not even going to try to talk me out of going?” I finally spoke up when he turned to face me.

            “I tried that before, if my memory serves me, and you went anyway.” His lip was quirked up in a smile. “I’ll feel better knowing you’ll at least be able to defend yourself.” His body language turned serious as he crossed his arms over his chest.

            “Let’s not waste any time, then. I only have a week to teach you what it’s taken me a lifetime to learn.”

            When he took a step towards me, I inhaled sharply. Trying to remain calm on the outside, I felt my heartrate pick up when he pushed his boot between my feet. Without saying a word, he widened my stance. Taking hold of my arms, he brought them up and stepped away from me, accessing my awkward position.

            “I’m not training to be a Templar, Cullen.” I tried to joke, hoping he couldn’t hear how my voice skipped. He started walking around me. I just kept my stance casual and tried to remember to breathe in and out. My eyes snapped to his as he stopped in front of me and spoke up.

            “But you are training to survive.”


	17. The Knock-Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training with the Leader of the Inquisitions forces was no easy thing, and Ashlyn shows off a skill of her own.

            I ached in places I didn’t even know could ache.

            I had been training with Cullen for three days and it had been Hell on earth. Or Thedas. Or whatever it was called. At the time, I didn’t even care if the ground came up and swallowed me. I now realized why the recruits groaned when Cullen started barking out training orders.

            He was as hard on me as he was his recruits, if not more. He always trained me away from the hustle of the others. First, I learned how to have a good stance to take on a frontal attack. When he charged me the first time, I hadn’t been ready for it and fell straight on my ass. Cullen offered me his hand and told me never to let my guard down. Until I could hold my own against his charge, we did nothing else.

            At least the alone time was nice. The times he made sure that the stance of my arms were good and strong were the times his hands would be on me. It took everything I had not to melt into a puddle when his touch lingered for a moment longer than necessary. I chanced a glance at him once. I caught him staring intently at me before he scrambled away and got right back to business.

            “What brings you to my neck of the woods, Lady Ashlyn?”

            I looked at the owner of the deep voice and smiled. Blackwall was a wonderful companion. Even knowing his betrayal was inevitable, it was impossible for me to dislike the man. He was honest. In a twisted sort of way.

            “Just Ash, Blackwall- we’ve talked about this.” I told him as I brought my arms above my head and stretched my aching back muscles.

            “You’re looking a bit sore.” His chuckle caused me to shoot him a glare. It made Blackwall laugh even more. “Our Commander not going easy on you?”

            “I’m afraid ‘easy’ has never been in his vocabulary.” I told him, glancing around for the man that was supposed to be running with me that morning. Without a watch, it was impossible to tell if I was early or if he was late.

            “If you have enough energy to complain, you have enough to run.” I heard Cullen talking behind me. As I turned to face him, he was already passed me.

            I waved once at Blackwall, who returned the gesture with a smile. It didn’t take me long to catch up to the ex-Templar. Running in boots was harder than my favorite pair of tennis shoes but I would manage. It felt nice to use the muscles I was actually used to working out.

            “You’re just lucky I enjoy running.” I told my running partner as I started evening my breathing and controlling the way my feet hit the ground. “I used to run all the time. It’s therapeutic for me.”

            “Training isn’t meant to be soothing.” Cullen told me, his breathing just as even as mine.

            “You’ve made that very clear.” I joked, reaching over to give his arm a good natured shove.

            He laughed once before shaking his head. We continued the rest of our circuit without another word. I didn’t mind though. The woods surrounding Haven were company enough. The path we were running was well worn and clear of snow. Pine trees had a thick layer of snow on them that gave off a comfortable chill under the rising sun.

            When we had made it around the lake and back to where the recruits normally were, I was feeling a muscle start to cramp in my leg. I huffed it the rest of the way until Cullen stopped. Immediately I got to work stretching to muscle. It eventually quit aching but, when I looked up, I had several sets of eyes on me.  

            “Aye, who invited a kitchen maid to play with the big boys?” One of the larger soldiers asked, holding a Templar shield as his friends chuckled beside him.

            Obviously, they hadn’t seen that I had been running with Cullen. The Commander took a threatening step forward. Even without his armor and sword, he still looked every bit the leader he was. His men immediately straightened their backs, like they hadn’t realized the man at my side was their leader.  

            “You will not-” I knew Cullen was trying to come to my rescue but, I had to show him somehow that I had learned a thing or two with all the hours we had spent training.

            “I suggest you put a cork in it before you know what it feels like to get knocked out.” It was my turn to take a step forward as I threatened the ring leader.

            “You’re gonna knock me out?” He jabbed his thumb in my direction and all his friends chortled at his side. Even he let out an impolite snort. “Keep dreaming, honey.”

            “Why don’t you just saunter those pretty hips over here and let me show you what to do with them?” I could feel the tension in Cullen’s stance as he was about to snap completely at the man.

            I took another step closer to the man and glared up at him. His longish beard was scraggly and in desperate need of a trim. He had on a tan colored tunic with a darker tan pair of pants. The pants were tucked into a pair of worn boots. I could see the outline of his toes through the top.

            “How about I do this instead?” I whispered in a low tone to him, which made the clueless man lean forward to try to catch what I was saying.

            I took the opportunity to have him so close to throw a perfectly placed right hook straight to his cheek. His head snapped to the right and he stayed standing for a moment before falling no his side. I put my whole weight into the punch and knew I had done some well-deserved damage.

            “Maker!” One of the men said as he leaned over his friend. “She knocked him out cold!” The shocked man looked up at Cullen, who hadn’t done anything until I looked up at him.

            “Someone drag him back to his tent.” Cullen caught me cradle the hand I had punched the man with in my opposite. Taking ahold of my elbow, he started to steer away from the growing crowd. “Get back to training, all of you!” His command quickly got his men moving again as a few started to pick the unconscious man off the ground.

            We made a short stop to his tent, where he reemerged with a bundle of bandages and a salve. My stomach churned, hoping it didn’t smell as bad as the stuff I had used before. Cullen then led us to our usual spot beside the frozen lake and took my injured hand in both of his.

            “Where’d you learn to do that?” He asked me and I just shrugged. Throwing a punch like that hadn’t been covered in our daily routines just yet.

            “My dad didn’t let me leave the house until I knew how to throw a good punch.” I smiled when Cullen shook his head, hiding his own grin. “I never quite learned how to do it without busting a knuckle though.” I told him. Both of us looked at the already swelling knuckle in my hand.

            Cullen silently got to work dipping a bit of the salve from the container. I hissed as he rubbed the goo gently over my sore skin. He let out a murmur of an apology and went a bit slower. It sent shivers down my spine at how gentle he was being. The way he watched his hand glide over mine. His other hand was resting underneath mine to keep it up in the air as he worked. He muttered something about it helping the swelling but, I was paying too much attention to the fingers.

            “You should be more careful, Ash.” He told me as he started to wrap my hand. I bit the corner of my lip to keep from yelping at the sharp pain and let out a shaky breath with the pain subsided.

            “So you keep telling me.” I said with a tremor to my tone. I laughed a bit when I saw him nod his head absently at my statement.

            Once he was done wrapping, he tied it off into a knot in my palm. Then he set my palm softly on my leg. I looked up at him to see him looking at me. More specifically, the way my lip was worrying my bottom lip. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it until he sucked in a sharp breath. When I stopped, it was like the spell had been broken. His golden gaze shot to mine and I felt his body move closer to mine.

            “Commander!” A voice shouted to our right. At the same time, we both let out a loud breath.

            “What is it?” Cullen didn’t try to hide the annoyance of his tone as he addressed the recruit that had a scroll in his hand.

            At the sight of the scroll, Cullen got to his feet and snatched it out of his hand. Without another word, he dismissed the obviously nervous messenger with a flick of his wrist.

            I tilted my head to the side in thought. That man looked familiar. I wasn’t sure from where, but I knew I had seen him before. As Cullen broke the seal on the scroll, I got to my feet and walked towards him. His face grew serious the more his gaze scanned the document.

            “I’ll see you around.” I told him, figuring there wasn’t much more we could do for the day since I hurt myself. Cullen broke his concentration from the piece of paper and looked at me. “I’ll try not to knock out too many more of your recruits.” The smile he shot at me made my insides turn to goo.

            “It’s not them I’m worried about.” The Commander joked back as I started toward Haven, and my bed I planned on staying in the rest of the day.


	18. The Taking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn decides to spend her free day out in the fresh air, with her mount Celandine. Little did she know.. Those would be her last moments spent in Haven.

            “She seems happy to see me today.” I told Dennett as I felt Celandine nudge my neck for the fourth time since I had gotten her out of her stall.

            “I think she missed you.” I laughed when the Hart in questioned whined almost like a person would before pawing at the snow with her hoof.

            “Going for a ride today?” Dennett asked when he saw that I had a saddle sitting on the fence.

            “The Commander has graciously given me the afternoon off from Hell.” We both laughed as I brushed her with my good hand.

            The swelling was still bad the morning after my knock-out punch. At seeing my hand still as large as an apple, Cullen told me to take the day to relax but, we could go over a few things after dinner. Just when I though I found a convenient loophole to get out of training.

            Dennett helped me finish brushing Celandine down. I threw the blanket on her back and let Dennett strap her saddle onto her. When I put the bridle in front of her mouth, she took it in stride and stood still as I fumbled to get it fastened. I could tell she was getting antsy as she trotted around a bit.

            “I’ll be back before dinner.” I told Dennett as I mounted my mount. “If not, send the cavalry!” I shouted to him over my shoulder as I sent Celandine into a trot.

            “Like you’d let me do that!” I let the wind carry my laughter at Dennett’s joke.

            Little did I know, that Dennett would be the last person to see me in Haven for a long time.

**~ Cullen’s POV~ (I think we all need alil' change of Point-Of-View, don't you?)**

            I could feel the edge of a headache start to set in as the Herald started talking to Cassandra about our troops moral. For some reason, he was avoiding talking to me during our emergency meeting. The only person not present for the meeting had been Ash, who had left unexpectedly for a ride into the woods at high noon. I pushed aside the strange ache I felt at not seeing her and focused back on the conversation.

            “I want to start training the men more seriously-” There was a pause in conversations as I took the moment to speak up but was quickly interrupted.

            “You keep saying that but, if we push these recruits any harder, they’re going to break under the pressure.” The Herald spoke up, finally looking at me with a hard look.

            “What do you suggest we do, march to the Temple of Sacred Ashes and pray to the Maker that the demons go easy on them?” I chastised, resting my hand on the hilt of my sword.

            Archer physically straightened at my statement. The women on either side of us grew silent. We were having a battle of wits with just our gazes. Lately, the short responses to his questions and the obviously avoiding had but me in a sour mood towards Archer. As far as I knew, I hadn’t done anything to get on his bad side. If I had, I would expect him to face me with the issue instead of doing anything about it at all.

            “Is there something you want to say, Commander?” Archer finally broke the silence and I was just about to tell him what was exactly on my mind when the door to the War Room suddenly burst open.

            All the eyes in the room shot to the door. For a breath of a moment, I got my hopes up that it would be Ash. At the sight of our Quartermaster, I felt myself deflate. Why was I so looking forward to seeing her? I wasn’t sure I even wanted to ponder the answer to that question.

            “I am sorry for intruding.” Dennett’s back was straight as he regarded us all.

            “We are in the middle of an important meeting, what is it?” Archer’s tone was annoyed as he turned his back to the man.

            “It’s Lady Ashlyn, sir.” The grip on my sword tightened considerably as the air seemed to be sucked from my lungs. The way he had said it, I knew it couldn’t be good.

            “Is she alright?” Leliana asked quickly.

             “She said that she would be back before nightfall. I just checked the stables and she still hasn’t returned. No one else has seen her.” He explained. The more he talked, the more my stomach sunk to my feet. _Maker, don’t let it be true._

            “I’m sure she’s just lounging under a tree somewhere.” Cassandra said with her arms crossed. Just on the edge of her voice was doubt, and even concern. How our interesting Ash had thawed our Seeker’s stone cold resolve enough to make her concerned, I had no clue.

            “None the less, I’ll gather a small team to go look for her.” I composed myself as I walked around the table and was out the door before anyone could stop me.

            I heard footsteps behind me, then beside me. I glanced to see Dennett was keeping up with me. We both pushed open the doors of the Chantry. I could smell the nightly soup being cooked at the Tavern as we passed it.

            “If I wasn’t truly worried, I wouldn’t have barged in.” Dennett said when we were heading down the stairs of Haven.

            “Then we go search.” I told him. “Round up a few horses.” I left him to get the mounts ready as I grabbed a few soldiers to accompany us on the man-hunt for our adviser.

            But she was more than just our adviser, wasn’t she? Ashlyn was so fiery and so fragile at the same time, the polar opposite of it seemed impossible. The way she threw that punch and knocked Grant out was impressive. Afterwards, how she whimpered as I fixed her hand made my chest ache. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her more pain. My thoughts continued to wonder as we mounted our horses and headed in the direction Dennett said she had went in.

            It was hard to see as the sun was falling on the horizon. The soldiers lit torches as we continued deeper into the woods. We followed what we assumed was Celandine’s tracks deep into the woods. As we finally started to veer off the marked path, I heard the distinct sound of an animal in distress. I kicked my heels into my horse’s side and took off towards the noise.

            The other’s followed and stopped when I entered a small clearing. In the middle of it was Celandine, it was impossible to miss the beautiful mount with a rack like her’s. I quickly dismounted my horse and made my way slowly to the distressed Hart. She was making the distressed noises I had been hearing. Lucky we had found her, and not a pack of wolves.

            “Ash! Ashlyn!” Dennett and the soldiers started shouting for Ash while I calmed the beast down enough to get her to stop pacing.

            I looked at the ground and saw a blanket laying discarded with a perfect line trail that Celandine had been walking. Then there were other tracks. I handed the reigns to Dennett when he came to my side. Crouching down, I examined them more closely.

            One was human, and small. That had to be Ashlyn. But there was another set. Much larger and its toes were too spread apart to be made by any human. Not to mention there were only had four toes. There was only one type of beast that could leave such massive tracks.

            “There’s been a struggle for sure.” Dennett said as he also crouched down. “What could make such strange tracks?” He asked as he leaned forward and touched an outline of one of the large prints.

            “A Pride Demon.” As I said it, I felt my heart beat go irregular. My headache came slamming back in full force and I didn’t want to allow myself to put two and two together.

            “Blood, human.” My gaze shot over to one of the soldiers who had found a small pool of blood. It wasn’t enough to be light threatening but, it still sent an awful chill down my spine.

            _No, this couldn’t be._

            “Where’s she at? There’s no drag marks.” Another soldier asked, just as bewildered as everyone else.

            _Ashlyn is missing. She was taken by a Pride Demon. There’s human blood in the snow. Ash is missing. She’s gone._

            “Search the hills, every inch.” My voice came out thick with emotion. I quickly cleared it as I looked over at the closest man to me. “Go back to Haven and tell all the available recruits to aid in the search.” He mounted his horse and took off like the wind before I could say anything else.

             Rising to my feet, I started issuing orders to the others that were there. Giving out commands was something I could do. Dealing with the fact that Ash was somehow taken was something I couldn’t. What if she- _No,_ I told myself, _I will not believe she is anything but missing._ I also wouldn’t allow myself to lose my resolve in front of my men.

            “No one rests until we find her.”

 


	19. When the Piper comes Piping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn awakens and realized just how much trouble she really is in, and a big question finally gets answered.

            _I had dismounted Celandine, patting her neck affectionately as I moved to tie her reigns to a low hanging branch. She rubbed her cold nose against my neck, making me jump and grab her face._

_“You enjoy doing that, don’t you?” I swore I saw a glint of some kind in her dark eyes and laughed as I shook my head._

_I decided not tie her to the tree as she laid on her side, curling her legs under her and looking up at me expectantly. I moved to my knees to shovel some snow away from her stomach so I could use her as a resting seat when one of her hoofed legs kicked out a few times, doing it for me._

_“Thank you.” I said, placing a kiss on her forehead and earned a happy whine from the back of her throat._

_I unfolded a few blankets I’d brought with me, laying the heaviest one over Celandine’s back before placing one on the ground and another over my shoulders. For a long time, I just looked at the wildlife and breathed._

_In- a small heard of mountain goats passed us leisurely._

_Out- a patch of snow fell from a near branch. It was soothing and much needed after staying in Haven for so long._

_“I hope the cold isn’t bothering you too much; I’m sure your Dalish camp you came from didn’t have any of this.” I turned to face the beast I was resting on just as she stuck her long tongue out to touch the cold snow. I laughed as she scooped up a large amount and shook her head after leaving it there for a few seconds._

            _“That’s called a brain freeze, and they hurt.” I told her as she continued to attempt to shake off the pain. “It’ll pass.” I cooed affectionately at her as I ran my hand down her neck._

_Suddenly, she stopped moving and her ears started twitching. She rose her head and looked around us. Something had caught her attention. I felt her muscles tense in her body, ready to bolt. I placed my hand on her neck again and tried to get her to look at me._

_“What’s wrong?” I heard a twig break behind us as I asked the soft question._

_There was an otherworldly growl that came from the tree line. I felt my fear nearly close my windpipe as I slowly turned around. I could see the outline of something huge. It’s glowing red eyes gleamed through the snow covered trees. When it saw that I was looking at it, it took a booming step from it’s hiding spot. I knew what it was the moment it broke the shelter._

_The Pride Demon stood taller than most of the wildlife around it. It’s scaly body and deadly claws took another step towards me. It’s mouth hung open and a large glob of slime was leaking from the opening. As if I wasn’t scared enough, the sight of the razor-sharp fangs in it’s mouth made me spring to my feet._

_I started pulling for Celandine to get up but my poor Hart was paralyzed in fear. A Fereldan steed got spooked at the sight of a demon but, as a Dalish Hart, she had never encountered a demon. My shouting fell on deaf ears as the Demon got closer._

_In a final desperate act to try and save my Hart, I threw myself between it and Celandine. At seeing that I was closer, the demon reached down and grabbed me. One of its talons grazed my arm. Blood quickly welled to the surface of the wound and billowed over its rough palm._

_I tried my hardest to get out of the strong grip. My cut stung and ripped open even more at my struggling. It wasn’t until the demon took the other hand, swinging in the air like it was swatting a bee that I stopped moving entirely. In the wake of the motion, a bright green rip formed in the air out of nowhere. It widened to accommodate the size of the demon._

_It was a rift._

_A demon had made a rift out of thin air, and pulled me in with it before I could think to scream for help._

_~ ~ ~_

I awoke from my dream on the hard ground, with a cramp in my leg.

“Is she awake?”

            My head felt stuffy while the rest of me ached painfully. I didn’t recognize the strange accented voice when it first spoke. I reached up to touch a tender spot on my head and felt the heavy weight of chains. Glancing down, I sighed. I hope waking up in chains wasn’t going to start becoming a habit.

            “Yes, Elder One.” A shadow cast over me as my breath caught in my throat. Elder One? That meant that-

            “Bring her to me.” I finally knew the commanding voice.

            A blonde woman wearing mage robes came into my view. Taking hold of the chains at my wrist, she yanked me to my feet. It had to be Calpernia. The tooth gap gave her away immediately.

           She pulled me from the corner I was laying in and towards the person whose back was to us. If you could even call him a person. I knew right away who it was, by the deformed head shape and his shriveled arms behind his back. All I wanted to do was turn on my heels and run but, Calpernia wouldn’t let me get away so easy. And I had the sinking feeling the being turning to face me wouldn’t either.

            When Corypheus set his angry gaze on me, I felt my whole insides freeze in fear. This was real. The enemy of the Inquisition was just a few feet from me. He took a slow step towards me. I tried not to show him my fear as I straightened my back.    

            “You know who I am?” He asked me, starting to circle me slowly like a predator zeroing in on his prey. His pause gave me the impression that he wanted me to respond.

            “Corypheus.” I took solace in the fact that my voice didn’t tremor.

            “And I know who you are, imposter.” I jumped when Corypheus’ voice was right in my ear. Holding back my gag, he wreaked of death. Like rotting flesh. “Posing as a prophet to the meager group of cowards who fight against me.” When he leaned away from me, I sucking in fresh air.

            “I never took the claim of a prophet-” Just as I got the courage to speak up it was quickly shot down.

            “You did not deny it, either!” His voice boomed through the empty room.

            The silence that fell over us was thick. He made a motion with his hand at Calpernia. With a low bow, she left the two of us without another word. I felt even more terrified as the door clicked shut behind her. I was truly 100% alone with an ancient Tevinter Mage.

            “Do you know why you are here, Fallen Angel?” Corypheus spat out the title the people had given me like it was venom. I knew that that time, it wasn’t a question he wanted an answer to as he continued.

            “I brought you here.” For the first time, I really looked at the wannabe God. His twisted smile made my stomach wretch. “The ritual I was performing at the Temple of Sacred Ashes was to bring you here.” I was too stunned to respond. “But just as I pulled you through, the one you call the Herald came rushing in and ruined everything.”

            _What? There’s no way. That’s impossible._ I repeated the phrase to myself over and over again as I felt myself start to sway on my feet. Was he telling the truth? He was trying to bring an all-powerful orb into the realm, not me. Or had the orb been a representation of me? The more I wrapped my head around it, the more the room started to spin a bit.

            “Or so I thought.” As much as I didn’t want to, I gripped onto Corypheus’ words as he kept talking. “You somehow were guided through the Fade and made it through to the other side, not many mortals can say they have done that and lived.” I thought he sounded a bit amazed at the end. But I knew better.

            “Why me?” I croaked out as I took in small, deep breaths.

            “You have not realized your full potential then.” Once again, his gaze zeroed in on me. I wished someone would come rushing through the door to my rescue and take him out all in one swoop. “For that, I am thankful.” Corypheus sounded anything but pleased as he closed the space between us.

            “This is as painless as you make it.”

            He rose his hands so that they were on either side of my head, without actually touching me. A few seconds after he did, I felt a chill go up my spine as my scalp tingled. It felt like someone had started a wildfire in my brain. As I felt the molten lava pain shoot through the rest of my body, I crumbled to the ground while gripping my head the best I could with my chained hands. I felt a scream start to bubble in the back of my throat as I tried to breath.

            “You are mine.” His cruel statement mixed in with my banshee like screams of pain.


	20. If I May Be So Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is to happen when the Commander and the StoryTeller sit at the same table in the Tavern? Deep buried thoughts are brought to the surface and a rival is revealed, of course.

**~Cullen’s POV~**

            The days were getting harder.

            It was easy to train the recruits, sign paperwork and attend War Room meetings. What made the days difficult was not hearing the twinkling laughter of our newest adviser, and my newest companion. I didn’t realize how in tune I was to Ash’s moving’s around Haven until she wasn’t there to fill the void that was left when she was gone.

            I knew I had grown an agitated and desperate air around me as the days dragged on without any sign of her. She had literally vanished out of thin air. No trace of a trail. Like they had stepped into a rift and were swallowed up. Archer had asked Solas to peek around in the Fade to see if he could find any signs of her. As of the last meeting, nothing had been recovered.

            The nights were worse.

            My dreams had been plagued with nightmare since Kinloch. I constantly was frightened by demons and their taunting’s. Since the night Ashlyn went missing, however, they grew much darker. It was as if they were feeding off my fear of her being gone. Most nights I dreamed that a demon was torturing her, making her delicate body lurch around in agony and screams rip through her chest. I always woke from those dreams in shivers and cold sweats with an awful headache.

            Before I knew I was doing it, I was heading to Leliana’s tent just outside the Chantry. I had been hovering close to her since Ash’s disappearance. If anyone would hear anything about her, Leliana and her vast group of spies would be the first ones to find out.

            When I stood outside the entrance to her tent, I wasn’t sure what to do. Resting one hand on my sword, I dipped my head inside the tent. I cleared my throat to let her know that I had entered but the Spymaster didn’t even turn to acknowledge me.

“I’m afraid my scouts still have found nothing, Commander.” She told me, finally turning around to face me.

            Leliana looked like she hadn’t gotten a good night’s rest in several days. Her posture was perfect, everything about her in place. She just couldn’t hide the dark marks under her eyes from sleep deprivation. For some reason, I took comfort in knowing that I wasn’t the only one suffering from Ash’s absence.

            “I wasn’t here to ask-” I tried to cover quickly but her coy smile stopped me.

            “It’s written all over your face.” She said almost comically as she took a few steps towards me. She stopped when she was right beside me, facing the opposite directing that I was.

            “You have more pressing matters to think of right now.” I was the first to break our eye contact. I knew she was right. _Tell that to my mind. It’s what’s making it impossible to not think about what might be happening to her._ “If you keep doing this to yourself, you’re going to drive yourself mad.” I wasn’t about to tell her that there was a good possibility that I already was.

            “We ride to the Breach in the morning, why don’t you take the rest of the evening to relax?” She said suddenly, catching me off guard.

            “I’m fine.” I answered, squaring my shoulders.

            “At least go to the Tavern and get a whole meal.” Leliana commanded as she started to leave, making me exit with her. “I’ll leave Cassandra in charge of the recruits for the evening.” The way she said it left no room for me to argue. This was something I knew that our Spymaster would not let me win.

            I gave her a single nod before walking to the Tavern. Most of the other people had already, and only the regular visitors were inside the building. The innkeeper’s wife who did all the cooking immediately recognized me and went about dipping me out a bowl of soup. When she handed me the soup, she also placed a wedge of bread on the side. I thanked her before moving to the only available table.

            “Well if it isn’t Curly himself!” I groaned out loud, catching Varric near my table with two tankards of what I assumed was something strong. Would I be forever stuck with that silly nickname from the dwarf?

            “Heard anything on Sunshine?” When Varric sat down across from me, he slid me one of the drinks in his hand. I bit at the inside of my cheek at Ash’s nickname. At least hers fit her personality.

            “Nothing still.” My response came out serious as I looked down at my bowl of soup. At the thought of her not joining me for our nightly walk made me push the food away.

            “We’ll find her, Commander.” I hope the distress I was feeling inside wasn’t in plain view because the way Varric’s tone softened, it sure seemed like it. Varric tipped his mug to his lips and took a long swig. After his drink, he looked at me expectantly as he settled onto the edge of his seat. “Let me ask you something-”

            “I’d rather you didn’t.” He didn’t seen deterred by my obvious rejection as he continued talking.

            “Do you care about Ash?” My throat went dry almost instantly and it took me several tries to clear it before I could talk. My hand reached to rub the back of my neck as the other sat clenched tightly on the table top.

            “She’s a part of this Inquisition, of course-” I thought each word carefully as I answered.

            “Don’t give me that shit, you know what I mean.” One of the dwarf’s eyebrows were raised and a grin was plastered on his face. “This stays between us, Curly, I promise.” And he seemed sincere about it.

            To this day, I have no idea what possessed me to talk to him about Ash. Maybe it was because I hadn’t had a normal conversation with a person in close to a week. Maybe I was too tired to care. Maybe it was the desperation I was feeling at not having her here, telling me stories.

            “I don’t know.” I groaned as I put my face in my hands.

            “What don’t you know?” He asked, sounding confused.

            “About her!” My voice got louder than before and a few people turned to look at us. I felt a treacherous blush creep up my neck until their eyes were diverted. I lowered my tone as I stared at the tankard. “She’s so foreign, and can be a bit strange sometimes. Has a mouth on her that could get her into a lot of trouble.”

            “But?”  Varric pressed and I could hear the grin in his voice as he spoke.

            “She’s bright, and beautiful and your nickname fits her better than anything I could try to muster.” I brought one of my hands to cover half of my face as it flushed with color again.

            “Ash is warm and compassionate, stand with her long enough and her warmth spreads through you like wildfire. Her laugh is adorable and she scrunches her nose when she’s angry. She’ll be the first to make a fool of herself to make someone else smile.” After I started talking about all the muddled feeling inside, I couldn’t stop myself. And the dwarf didn’t seem to mind.

           “I was so cruel to her when she first came here but, now I can’t go a day without thinking of her. Of hearing her laugh. Or seeing her beautiful smile.” I moved the hand that was covering my cheek and placed it over my mouth. I hadn’t even had anything to drink that evening, and I was spilling my feelings like a drunkard. And maybe I was drunk, just not on strong drinks.

            “Sounds like you care a great deal about her.” Varric said approvingly.

            “We’ll find her Curly, and when we do you better not waste any time telling her how you feel.” He told me as he downed the rest of his drink. He slammed the mug down loudly. “Or someone else might try to sweep her off her feet.”

            “What are you saying?” I asked him defensively. I knew that Varric had no romantic feelings for Ashlyn. Or did he? The thought of it made my blood boil.

            “I’m saying you’re not the only one that hasn’t been able to keep their eyes off her since she first arrived.” Using his mug, he motioned to a spot behind my shoulder. I turned to see who he could be referring to. At seeing who he was pointing to, I sucked in a breath in shock.

            “I’d rather it be you than him.” The man at the corner table only had a mug in front of him, and looked at the table top like a wounded animal. I could see his Mark glowing through his leather glove.

            Archer Trevelyan.

           How had I not seen it? My confusion was quickly followed by understanding. The way he gravitated towards her. How he was been so kind to her from the beginning. The Hart he had given her. How had I been blind to the fact that another man was showering her with affection? Did she return his feelings?

            “He’s a good man, don’t get me wrong.” He defended as he rose from his seat. When he went to pass me to leave, he slapped his hand down on my shoulder and leaned in a bit.

            “But I'm almost positive our Sunshine has her eyes on a certain Commander of a certain Inquisition.” With a final slap to my back, Varric was gone.

            And in his wake was a breath of a smile on my lips. 

           I looked out a window I was sitting beside. It was snowing. If Ash was here, she would want to be out in it. 

            _I will bring you home, Ash, you have my word._


	21. Welcome Home, Augment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corypheus' influence has come over Ashlyn, transformed completely into the legendary Augment. Can she be saved before all of the Inquisition falls?

            It was time.

            The day that my All-Mighty master would exact his revenge on his foes. The day we would march to the puny opposition and crush them where they stood.

            I had lost track of the days after the first. When he had poured his powers into me, it was awful. Like someone was pouring molten lava through my veins. However, after I stopped fighting it, everything was perfect. Fighting it was useless, and I had no idea why I even tried. Corypheus allowed me free reign after that. Not that I went much farther than his side. Corypheus was a wonderful leader, a true God.

            “Are you ready, my little shell?” When I felt his finger run across my cheek, something inside me cringed. It was a buried deep feeling and so very foreign. Why would I try to cringe from such a gracious being?

            “We ride to your Inquisition tonight.” He continued, circling me. He did that often, like he was gazing at a prized jewel. “You will stand at my side and watch the betrayal on their face.” I grinned up at him. He had gone over his plan with me many times. It was the most perfectly thought through plan I had ever heard.

            When the time had come, he led me to his dragon. He hopped onto it first and let a lackey push me up into the seat. Of course, I made sure that my master was comfortable before placing myself behind him. We took to the air, with our army of Darkspawn beneath us.

            There was little resistant getting to Haven and it took us no time at all to reach the small basecamp. It was a simple place, where most of the town lived within the small walls that surrounded it. Giving the people inside false hope.

            As the place grew near, some of the spawns has been sent ahead to start the attack. Most of them were already dead. It was almost surprising to see how well they were handling themselves. For now. Corypheus commanded the dragon to swoop down and attack some people that were attempting to arm a trebuchet. The dragon’s flames quickly blew the machine to pieces.

            “It seems someone has warned them of our approach.” He booming voice spoke over the carnage below us. “No matter.” Was all he said before he dropped himself from the still flying dragons back. I followed quickly behind him.

            We landed softly in the snow and made our way to the people that were getting to their feet after the explosion. Corypheus walked through the flames first, with me following at his side but, still behind him. This was my master’s time to shine. I took the time to look around at our army. They were doing well.

            Corypheus’ dragon came swooping down behind the small group, one man in particular and brought him closer to us. Corypheus pulled a bit of power from me as he yelled at the man. I willingly let him take as much energy as he felt he needed. After all, I was his Augment to use.

            “Is that Ashlyn?” I glanced over at the people. Two humans, a Qunari and a dwarf with a crossbow. Pathetic.

            “She’s here?” The dwarf looked away from the incoming enemies and zeroed in on me.

            “Pay no mind to the lackey at my side, I am to be your main focus.” I felt Corypheus take a step forward and I poured more of my power into him, making an aura of green surround him.

            “Why don’t you hand over the girl and then we’ll talk.” The man with the green eyes spoke. All four of the people were now staring at me. That unsettled me. They should be gazing in awe of my master’s powers. And be begging for mercy.

            “Ashlyn!” The man was talking right at me. Was he mad? I had no name. All that I was, was Corypheus’.

            “She doesn’t recognize us. Any of us.” I recognized that the next one that spoke was a Qunari. It was impossible to mistake him as anything other than that. But still, not worth my time of paying attention to.

            “Ashlyn, its Archer.” When the green eyes man took a step forward, I felt Corypheus pull a great deal of power from me and shot a green bolt of energy at him.

            The human and his companions quickly dodged it. When they were back on their feet, their eyes were back on me. The only one that seemed to notice the man rushing towards us was me. Another human looking to gaze upon my master’s glory.

            “Ashlyn!” My gaze jerked to the new man. Something in his voice commanded that I look at him, even though that was not my title.

            “Commander!” One of the companions shouted to the fool as he ran right past them and stopped between us and them.

            “What in the hell are you doing, Curly?” The dwarf shot an arrow and took out an incoming enemy. Another wave of Darkspawn was upon them. The four fighters turned their attention to the new threat as the man that was standing in front of us took a tentative step forward.

            “Ash?” I tilted my head to the side in question. What a strange name from the other they kept calling me. “It’s me.” As he spoke, he moved a fisted hand to his chest. The way the fires illuminated his armor. The way he held himself. _Click_ , something fell into place. I had no idea what though.

            “It’s no use, human. The Augment is mine.” I took comfort in Corypheus’ words as he pulled power from me and shot a bolt at the newcomer. From his back, he pulled a shield and deflected the magical beam.

            “Just- Listen to me!” The man advanced closer and Corypheus kept throwing attacks at him. He slouched behind the shield but kept me in his sights.

            “Remember when we stood right in front of the Chantry doors and watched the snow fall?” He shouted as a bolt went ricocheting off his shield. That bolt left a dent in the metal.

            “Or when we’d walk the grounds.” _Click,_ another piece fell into place. I felt the breathing of a giggle and warmer times. But there was no time before becoming one with Corypheus. The newest dent in his defense didn’t stop him as he grew closer.

            “How about our first dance?” _Click,_ holding each other close. Beautiful music that made us sway the rest of our evening away. “You hummed the song for days after.” I could almost hear the song in my mind.

            Our eyes finally met. They clashed. He was trying to make me see something in him. Something that might make me remember. Remember what? These flooding thoughts weren’t mine. I had no life before my master brought me into it.

            But what if I did?

            “Enough!” The pulling of even more power drew my gaze away from the warm golden one. I dropped to my knees as I became even more drained than I ever had. My chest felt heavy and it was impossible to take a breath. It felt like he had ripped a piece of my soul from me.

            “ASHLYN!” Like a true fool, the man dropped his shield and came racing towards me.

            Gasping for breath, I watched as Corypheus charged another bolt with his own powers. Something told me to stop him. I had to save the man that was racing towards me. I didn’t know why, or even who he was. I just had to make sure he kept breathing, or I knew I couldn’t.

            I did the only thing I knew I could do. I did what Corypheus had done to me. I pulled at his powers through our connections and began draining him. With a shocked and enraged look, he turned to me. Trying to use his powers against me was useless. I had nearly sucked everything from him by the time he felt his powers dissipating.

            When the man reached me, Corypheus called for his dragon. The beast came barreling towards him. The God slid onto the back and, without looking back, took to the sky. Just as he was lifted from the ground, I felt our connection break. But he was still there. He was inside me. And it was infecting me. Grabbing my hair at the roots, I started screaming.

            “Get out of me!” It felt like hot tar going through my veins. This was worse than the first time ever was. I nearly had every piece of his essence inside me. And my body couldn’t take it. “I said get out!” I could hear his voice whispering in my mind.

            There was shouting.

            Someone picked me up.

            They were warm.

            And safe.

            But I wasn’t safe. Not from myself anyway.

            _Augment._ His voice whispered to me in the blackness of my unconsciousness.

            I was brought here to become an Augment of Corypheus’ magical abilities. It was easy for him and me to exchanged power once he had poured some of his into me. I was an endless well of mana, he had explained. Just waiting for someone like him to take for his own.

            _You are mine._ Corypheus had told me on more than one occasion. He had discovered me for what I truly was. A weapon to be used in a war for all the world’s domination. From this plain to the next.

            My dreams were plagued with darkness and endless screams of demons and pain. It scared anything else inside of me away.

            “Hush now.” A soft voice cooed to me as they placed a hand on my forehead. “You are safe.”

            My eyes slowly flickered open. It took me a moment to register that I had no idea where I was at. Or who was touching me. I felt my body tense in fear but I quickly groaned when I felt how much I ached. I couldn’t remember working out before I went to bed. I didn’t even remember going to bed.

            “You are safe, my child.” I looked over at the voice as she pulled her hand away from my head.

            “What’s going on?” I said, feeling my heart nearly jump out of my chest when I recognized who was talking.

            “Go retrieve the advisors and the Herald, tell them Lady Ashlyn is awake.” I hadn’t even realized someone had entered the tent until they went slipping out again. Lady Ashlyn? Was she talking to me?

            “Where am I?” I asked her, looking around as I swung my feet off the cot. There was snow at my feet. Snow?

            “Mother Giselle. _The_ Mother Giselle?” The dark skinned woman rose an eyebrow in question and started to speak when the entrance to the tent opened up again.

            Two people entered with a few more faced behind them. I saw a flash of horns, a crossbow hilt. Inside the tent, staring at me in concern were two very good looking men. Both of which I recognized but didn’t want to believe. There they stood, not a few feet from me. If I reached my hand out, I could touch them both.

            “Ash?” I looked up at the one standing behind the other. Our eyes met, and my heart jumped at the connection between us. Where in the hell did that come from? Maybe I had read too many fan fics.

            “What’s wrong with her? Why isn’t she talking?” The closer one spoke to Mother Giselle as I raised a hand to my head, feeling for a bump.

            Had I hit my head on the microwave again? There was no way this was happening. Maybe I had drank too much wine the night before? But this was way more realistic than a drunken dream. This wasn’t a dream. This was real. These people were either really good cosplayers. Or they were real.

            I had the real Inquisitor of my Inquisition, Archer Trevelyan, and Commander Cullen of the Inquisition at my bedside. And I had no idea how in the world I had gotten there.

            “How do you know me?” I finally croaked out, darting my gaze from the three people inside.

            I heard a loud gasp from someone outside the tent. Everything inside seemed to stop. No one breathed, and no one moved.

            “You don’t remember us?” The soft question from the Commander made me lock eyes with him again.

            “What do you mean remember?” I asked, running a hand through my hair as I tried to piece anything together. “You’re all not real!” I screeched out as I looked at each of them.

            None of them had any idea what to do. And neither did I

            “Would someone _please_ tell me what’s going on?!”


	22. So Much To Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn has to start picking up the pieces of her life, and memory, back together as the Inquisition starts towards their new home.

            The Commander swept from the tent as soon as I asked the question that made everyone grow silent. I didn’t miss the way his face had looked. Like he had seen a ghost. Archer’s face was drained of color as well. He quietly asked Mother Giselle to leave the tent. Then he silently sat down across from me before delving into the story of how I had ended up in Thedas.

            I could hardly wrap my head around it all. I was an advisor to the Inquisition? I had helped get them through the trials that they faced by giving them information about the areas they were going through? The people of Thedas called me their Fallen Angel? It was so much to take in.

            A few weeks before, I had left Haven on my mount which was a Dalish Hart gifted to me, Celandine. While seemingly lounging in the woods, I was attacked by Corypheus’ goons and brought to him. He then turned me into an Augment. Archer invited Solas into the tent and allowed him to better explain what an Augment’s purpose was.

            I was basically a walking link to the Fade, and all the magical abilities that came with it. All it took was for someone to link their power to mine. Then they could have unlimited power. Corypheus activated the Augment ability within me, which meant I could now offer power to anyone that wanted it. Solas said there was even a possibility that I could get magical abilities of my own from it. He also explained to me how rare a person with so much access to mana was.

            “Let me get this straight.” I said once Archer had finished. My hands were on either side of my face as I slowly began to process everything. “So I fell from a Rift in the sky- basically on your front doorstep.” I flung my hands around a bit in emphasis before I let them fall back onto my lap. “ _Months ago?_ ” Neither of the men hesitated before nodding.

            “How come I don’t remember anything then?” Archer glanced at the elf as he rose to his feet.

            “That we are unsure of. I shall travel to the Fade as soon as possible and see what I can turn up.” As he made his exit, Archer stopped him.

            “Thank you, Solas.” The apostate simply nodded and exited without another word.

            “We’re leaving soon.” Archer said as he too got to his feet. “Solas seems to think there is a place we can set up at permanently.” I glanced up at him, nodding.

            “Skyhold.”

            “The very same.” I thought I saw a ghost of a grin cross Archer’s face but he was sliding from the tent before I could see for sure.

            I took my time getting myself centered before exiting the tent. As soon as I stepped out, everyone’s eyes were on me. I felt something warm wrap around my shoulders. Turning, I was surprised to the Antivan ambassador rubbing my arms and smiling lightly at me. She moved in front of me and clasped the cloak around my shoulders.

            Leliana was just over her right shoulders, watching me with Cassandra Penteghast at her side. I shook my head. How had I gotten used to seeing these people that weren’t supposed to exist all the time, I had no clue. I looked for the Commander, needing to see him the most. The way he had looked when he realized I didn’t remember anything hurt more than anything. Why, I couldn’t completely fathom.

            A man came walking up to me during my search of our make-shift camp. In his hands were the reigns to a stunning Hart. At seeing me, the beast yanked itself free from the man and came trotting towards me. Something deep inside me told me that she was mine. That she was Celandine, the mount Archer had told me was mine.

            My thoughts were affirmed when she touched her forehead to mine, her large antlers nearly circling around me. I reached my aching arms around her head and squeezed briefly before taking a step back. The Hart pulled away as well and looked at me while trotting, looking almost excited to see me.

            The man who brought Celandine to me told me to get saddled up and ready to go, that they would be leaving soon. I did as I was told, Celandine knelt to the ground so all I had to do was throw my leg over her back. She did the rest, picking us both us and steering herself towards the other horses. I reached down and petted her neck. I had a smart mount that much was sure.

            Some of the soldiers were going to stay behind to make sure they collected everything that was left. I offered to stay behind when Celandine walked us over to Archer, who was already on his horse. He shot me down and told me to stay close. With a loud whistle, Archer started his horse into a trot through the deep snow. I let Celandine go her own pace as I looked around at the scenery.

            “Are you alright?” I jerked my gaze from the snow covered scenery and to my right, where the Commander was riding close beside me.

            “Of course.” I answered quickly. I attempted a grin at him, which he countered with a raised eyebrow. So he knew me well enough to know when I was lying. That thought alone sent my heart racing wildly.

            “I’m glad to see your mount survived.” He continued the conversation.

            “Thank goodness for that.” I reached my hand back down to touch her neck. “Celandine, was it?” I felt her take a deep breath, and let out a soft neigh in response.

            “And we-.” I had to clear my throat to buy myself some time to think about what I wanted to say. “We were friends?” I didn’t miss the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. Wow, was that half-smile a heart stopper or what?

            “You could say that, yes.” The Commander answered. I was about to press him for more answers when he kept talking. “Solas believes your memory will come back once Corypheus’ magic fully leaves your system.” I quickly shut my mouth after that.

            We rode in comfortable silence for a good distance. I could have sworn that our mounts were communicating. Cullen’s horse would neigh loudly, which made Celandine grunt or shake her head before she would neigh back at him. It was an interesting thing to watch.

            I noticed a white fleck fall of Celandine’s neck, then another. Looking to the sky, I could see snow start to fall from the cloudy sky. It was mid-day, I could tell because even with all the clouds, the sun still peeked through as it sat towards the middle of the sky.

            “As cold and numb as my body is, I can’t help but love the falling snow.” I said aloud, reaching a hand out and letting a snowflake fall on my palm. “It’s-”

“Calming?” I looked over at the Commander, a soft smile on my face as I nodded. He glanced over at me and smiled in return.

            “When you first came to Thedas.” Cullen had my full attention as he started talking. “I wasn’t the nicest to you.” I gasped audiably, raising a hand to my chest.

            “You, a mean bone in your body? I don’t believe that.” I mocked, making Cullen grunt while his grin was back on his face.

            “You were probably just threatened by my charm and good looks.” I flicked my long mane of hair over my shoulder as I bated my eyes at him. “Happens a lot.” That got a real laugh out of Cullen as he shook his head.

            “Good to know your humor hasn’t been altered.” His statement felt like a cold bucket of water was dumped over my head.

            I immediately withdrew, feeling the warming connection between us break off suddenly. He looked over at me when I didn’t respond to him. For some reason I shuddered physically. I felt the cold for the first time since waking up. I started to rub my hands on my arms, trying to bring heat to my chilled body.

            “Here, take this.” Before I could protest, I felt something heavy get draped across my shoulders.

            Looking over, I saw Cullen nearly leaning out of his saddle to place his fur pauldrons on my shoulders. One of his gloved hands brushed my exposed neck as he situated it on me, making my eyes glance up at his. He looked me over to make sure that I was fully covered by the pauldrons before looking back at me. I started to protest but, he quickly shut me down.

            “I’ll be fine, I’m a Fereldan.” He gripped the reigns to his horse and looked ahead, but I could see the slight tint of pink that wasn’t there before on his cheeks. Or maybe it was just the cold. However, something told me that it wasn’t.

            “Thank you, Commander.” Glancing at me for a moment, he nodded once before his focus went back to staring straight ahead.

            I took that moment he wasn’t paying attention to me to bury my nose in the still warm fur.


	23. Camping in Caves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another night spent out in the open as they continue their march to Skyhold.

            “We rest here for the night.” I heard Archer call from the front of our traveling pack.

            Audible sighs of relief could be heard throughout the whole group. Soldiers, mages and civilians alike were relieved to get off their feet for the night. We had made lots of progress in the last few days of traveling. That didn’t mean everyone wasn’t any less tired. I dismounted Celandine and landed on wobbly legs.

            One of the Templars came walking through and told us all to stay back while they cleared out a cave for the night. It was dangerous to camp out in the open, and a cave would block out the bitter air. I reached my hands up and one of the children from Haven let me help her down from Celandine’s back.

            Her name was Hannah, and as soon as her little feet hit the snow, she took off in search of her parents. I had offered to let them ride Celandine and allow their legs some rest. They said they could get ‘smited by the Maker himself’ if they allowed for me to walk while they had the luxury to ride. They did, however, ask if their eight-year-old daughter could ride. The cold was hard on her small body.

            When they handed the light weight girl up to me, I felt her whole body trembling from the cold. I quickly opened my cloak enough to cover her entire body. It didn’t take long before she started to warm up and the tremors stopped. After Hannah was warm, she was quite chatty. It was nice to have company. Cullen had moved towards the front of the team to talk to the Inquisitor about our future plans.  

            Once we were given the all clear, everyone started for the large cave mouth. I tied Celandine to a tree near the entrance. She picked at the snow with her hoof for a moment before laying down on it. I busied myself by pulling out my only blanket and draping it over her the best I could. With a small grunt, Celandine laid her head on her legs and closed her eyes. I knew she had to be just as tired as I was.

            Not able to put it off any longer, I made my way to the cave. I wasn’t a fan of the biting air but I was more afraid of what could be left in the cave. I had seen my share of draclings and spiders in caves to know that you were never really alone in them. By the time I had stepped inside, there were several small fires going and some people were already asleep. I neared Varric, who was talking to Cullen about something when he noticed me.

            “Better than out in the open.” Varric commented with a wink when he saw my wary face.

            “I think I’d rather take my chances out there then be stuck in here.” I told him, wrapping my hands around my arms as I watched the flames from the fire make it look like the cave walls were moving. “Are you sure you guys cleared out all the spiders?” Hairs raised on the back of my neck when I thought I heard the skittering of eight legs move behind me.

            “Every last one.” Cullen piped up as he took a step towards me.

             His hand touched my arm. I couldn’t help the blush that shot up my cheeks. God, he was handsome. He motioned for me to head towards the wall behind him, where a bed roll was already laid out. “Now go get some rest. You look like your about to fall asleep on your feet.”

            “What about you?” I asked, only noticing one bed roll. His.

            “I’m taking the first watch with some of the other men.” Cullen took a step away from me, heading for the exit. But our crafty dwarf slid himself between the cave mouth and the Commander.

            “You haven’t slept for days and don’t think I haven’t noticed.” I piped up when Cullen was forced to stop. Varric crossed his arms over his chest and nodded.

            “She’s right Curly, why don’t you rest up a bit?” Varric jabbed his elbow into Cullen’s waist as he muttered something under his breath.

            Whatever he said made Cullen’s whole posture change. His back straightened. Shoulders stiffened. A gloved hand went raking through his hair. Obvious signs of discomfort. I was curious as to what Varric said to him that put him on edge so suddenly. Finally, Cullen gave a single nod and turned on his heels.

            “Thanks, Varric.” I beamed at the dwarf, who saluted me mockingly and winked at the same time.

            “Anytime, Sunshine.” He said over his shoulder as he pulled Bianca off his back.

            “Why did he choose that, of all the nicknames?” I asked aloud, shaking my head as I turned around.

            Cullen’s bed roll was the closest one to the wall so he sat on it while his back leaned against the stone wall. His head was leaned back against the wall and a small smile was on his face. What was he smiling about?

            I sat down beside him on his bedroll and leaned on the wall just as he did. The rocks kept digging into my back at odd angles. I didn’t have armor like Cullen did, just a cloak and my dress. I knew there was no way that I could sleep that way. So I took a deep breath, and a gamble, and laid my head on Cullen’s leg.

            I felt his whole body tense for a moment, the muscles in his leg tightened and felt like steel. After a few moments the shock wore off and he relaxed.

            “What are you doing?” His voice sounded a little rougher as I felt a light brush of something across my shoulder blades.

            “If you’re going to sleep sitting up, I’m going to use you as a pillow.” I told him, hoping the low light would hide my blush. “Is this okay?” When I didn’t get an answer, I was about to look up at him. But then his hand rested lightly on my head before brushing down my back and sitting comfortably at his side. I took that as a yes.

            “Tell me a story.” I blurted out as I watched the flames from the nearby fire dance.

            “You want a bedtime story?” Cullen asked, sounding amused.

            “Anything to make me not think about what might be lurking in the shadows of this creepy cave.” At my statement, I curled up more. Taking it as a sign that I was cold, Cullen moved part of the bed roll to cover me up. I glanced up at him and gave him a warm smile.

            “Alright then.” He sighed as he leaned back onto the wall. I fluttered my eyes closed as I got ready for his story.

            “There once lived a man in the Kingdom of Fereldan who, for all intents and purposes, was a King without the title. He had wealth, status, and land vaster than any. His charming and handsome manners made him popular with everyone he met. His parties were the highlight of the year and one could only dream to ever be in his presence. But the man had a secret, buried so deep, he didn’t even know he had it himself.” I liked the way Cullen told stories already. He was engaging, and his voice was rhythmic, like a music box melody. Slow and sweet.

            “A maiden showed up at his door during a raging storm and asked for a room to stay in to wait out the rainfall. In exchange, she would give him an enchanted flower, worth its weight and then some, in gold. When the man realized that the maiden was indeed an ugly old hag, he denied her entrance into his castle and left her in the rain.” I felt the brush of fingertips against the back of my neck as a piece of my hair was moved away from my face. I bit the inside of my lip to keep from grinning like a fool.

            “The man saw a bright light from outside and quickly opened to door to see the old hag had transformed into a beautiful princess. He went to his knees and begged for the fair maiden’s forgiveness and offered for her to come inside.” Cullen’s gloved hand came back to the side of my face and brushed away more loose hair.

            “Seeing his heart full of greed, the enchantress cast a spell on him, binding him to the rose she had offered him. He would have till the last petal of the rose fell to find someone to love him. The catch was, however, that the woman had turned the once handsome man into a rabid beast.”

            As he kept weaving the tale of my maiden and the beast, his fingers kept brushing through my hair. It was soothing, and making me all the sleepier. I was having a battle with myself to stay awake so I could hear the end. Although, I had an idea of how that story ended. Who didn’t?

            “-And when she finally confessed her undying love to him, saying that she loved him fur and all, was when he finally changed into the handsome man again-”

            “And they lived happily ever after.” I finished for him, covering my mouth as I yawned. “Of course, you’d tell my favorite love story of all time.” I sighed as I pulled the bed roll up around my neck as Cullen’s hand disappeared from my hair. I was enjoying his hand going through my hair way too much.

            “Don’t let the spiders eat me.” I murmured as my body started to lull itself to sleep.

            “You’re safe here.” Cullen reassured me.

            “I know.” I felt his hand pull the blanket around me tighter, and stay on my shoulder.

            “Goodnight, Ash.” I wanted to tell him goodnight back. But I was already dreaming.


	24. I Remember You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn's link to the Fade is strong now. It only makes sense that the Fade is the very thing that gives her her memories back.

_“It never gets old for me.” I sighed, taking a deep breath and feeling the cold air sting my lungs a bit._

_“Just stand here a moment.” I asked him, looking at him as he shook his head, arms crossed over one another._

_“We’re more liable to catch a cold than anything.” Back was his serious mood._

_“Please?” I pleaded, meeting his eyes. Wordlessly, he moved to stand beside me and looked up at the night sky with me._

_The pure white flakes fell from the dark night sky and through the clouds, the stars were brightly lighting the sky. Even the moon seemed to be playing peek-a-boo as it peeked in and out of view. It was so quiet, that you could almost hear the snow falling to the ground._

_“It’s beautiful.” I said out loud._

_“Everything is beautiful through your eyes, isn’t it?” I was thrown off by Cullen’s statement, so much so that I stopped enjoying the falling snow and looked at him._

            **I could remember how warm I had felt when he gave me my first, real compliment.**

_“I said I’m fine.” Cullen growled._

_“And I say you’re a bad liar.” I accused, making him look at me from the corner of his eye._

_“Let’s just get some fresh mountain air and see if that doesn’t help, alright?” I compromised. When he didn’t say anything else, I took that as his compliance._

_I wasn’t sure why I did, but I just started talking. Talking about my life before I came here. What I did for a living, which made him grunt. I told him about cell phones, and cars and television. After a while, I started talking about myself. My first best friend, and her ultimate betrayal when she stole my boyfriend._

_I actually got him to laugh when I told him about the disastrous school play I was a part of. Cullen seemed to hang on my every word as I talked. He finally started asking questions about it all. He seemed amazed at how different my world was from his. I told about holidays and how we celebrated most holidays with gift giving._

_I was describing Rockefeller Plaza during Christmas time when I caught a smile on his face, so natural and carefree. I could tell his headache was still there, he occasionally would rub his temples. But I was distracting him from the worse of it._

_“Thank you.” He told me suddenly, looking at me with that same smile still on his face._

_“Anytime.” I returned his smile._

_It would take some time for us to be friends but, this was a start._

            **More pieces started falling into place. Like how much I had enjoyed the time I spent with Cullen.**

_“You looked beautiful.” Cullen said after swallowing hard. His statement took my breath away._

_“Riding in on your new mount. Your hair was blowing in the breeze, a calm smile on your face.” His free hand ran through his hair as he spoke. “There was a shine in your eye that I’d never seen before. For a moment, I didn’t know it was you.” As his hand ran through his hair, he let it rest on the back of his neck._

_“When I called out to you and you turned to me- it took my breath away.” Cullen closed the space between us. His hand that was holding mine the only thing between us._

_“You took my breath away.” His voice dropped an octave as his amber eyes gazed into mine._

_I couldn’t breathe. And even if I wanted to, I was sure that I couldn’t get my throat to open back up. He called me beautiful. Commander Cullen Rutherford had told me that I took his breath away. The hand that was on the back of his neck moved to rest on my upper arm. My heart clinched tightly at the soft touch._

_“Lady Ashlyn-” Cullen’s voice was a bit raspy as his eyes dropped lower than my eyes. If he kept this up, I was going to have a heart attack._

_“Just Ash- call me Ash.” I finally found my voice as I watched him lean just a fraction closer to me._

_“C-Command-.” I stuttered but stopped short when his hand resting on my upper arm lowered and grabbed my other hand. The trail his gloved fingertips made on my arm left my whole body feeling warm._

_“Cullen.” He said as he tightened his hold on my hands. “Please call me Cullen.”_

I remember being almost disappointed that he hadn’t kissed me at that moment.

_“Ready to thank me yet?” I asked him, feeling embarrassed for staring openly at the handsome man. What women with good taste in a man wouldn’t, though?_

_“I’ll thank you once I get a feeling other than pain back into my feet.” He grumbled good naturedly. When I let out a soft laugh, I watched the smile grow on his lips. It made his scar look kissable. “Even then, I might not.” He went on._

_“It couldn’t be that bad.” I said, still laughing. There was a pause in our conversation and I realized how I knew the song. It was one of the tavern songs. I started to hum with the beautiful tune._

I am the one  
Who can recount what we’ve lost.

I am the one  
Who will live on.

I have run  
Through the fields of pain and sighs.

I have fought  
To see the other side.

_“I did finally get to dance with you.” I was brought back to my senses when Cullen’s grip tightened even more on me. I looked up at him and came to the crashing realization that I cared for Cullen more than I wanted to admit. “It has made the rest of the evening worth it.”_

_And gazing into his warm golden eyes, I gave myself the breath of hope that he cared for me as well._

_“As it has mine.” I admitted honestly._

            My eyes shot open and I scrambled to sit up. The bedroll fell limp on the cold stone floor as I gulped in deep breaths. I heard movement behind me. I turned quickly to face whoever, or whatever, it could be. When I looked into the golden honey eyes that brimmed with concern, I wanted to cry. I knew those eyes. I mean _really_ knew those eyes.

            “Lady Ashlyn?” Seeing Cullen so close put me at ease while putting me on edge at the same time. There was only a breath of space between us that he was slowly closing the more he reached for me. “Are you alright?”     

            “I remember.” My breaths still came out quick. Like I had just got done running a mile. “I remember everything, Cullen.” It took a moment for my words to sink in before he looked at me. Really looked at me.

            “I’m so sorry for everything I did.” I apologized, feeling all kinds of emotions stirring inside me all at once. The most prominent one was guilt. I had been at the enemy’s side when he attempted to decimate the people that I cared about. “What I did at Haven-” Corypheus had been so close to killing Cullen and the others. It made tears start to burn in my eyes and my words choke in my throat.

            “None of that was not your fault, Ashlyn.” Cullen told me firmly as he grabbed up a blanket that had been laying across his legs and wrapped it around my shaking shoulders. I hadn’t even realized I was frozen until he cocooned me in the warm blanket.

            “Cullen, those people.” Just when I felt the tears start to pour from my eyes, warm hands were on either side of my face. They were ungloved, and a good kind of rough against my skin.

            I felt my body shiver at Cullen’s sweet touch. He used this thumbs to ease away my tears before they could run down my neck. I bit the corner of my lip so me tears wouldn’t wake the others around us. When I stole a glance at Cullen, I could see the helplessness on his face. I knew the crushed look on my face didn’t help.

            “Enough.” I nearly stopped breathing when I felt his arm go around my shoulders. Cullen then pulled me in close to his side, tightening the blanket around me in the process. “I won’t let you do this to yourself. Everything that happened in Haven was Corypheus’ fault. Not yours.” As he spoke sternly to me, I could feel his warm breath on the top of my head. “Not yours.” His arm tightened around my shoulder and I finally let myself relax into his arms.

            Cullen in his armor smelled of sweat and steel. Two scents that didn’t sound like they went well together but, they did with him. It was like an expensive musk you couldn’t help getting a second sniff of. I rested my head on his pauldrons as I felt his arm tighten around me the closer I got to him. Not that I was complaining.

            “Thank you for not giving up on me.” I murmured to him as I felt myself start to fall back asleep. After a breath of a moment, his chin came to rest on top of my head.

            “Don’t let the spiders get me either.” I could feel the small chuckle ripple through him as he moved to cover our legs with the bed roll.

            “I’m not going anywhere.” Cullen reassured me as I finally let myself fall asleep.

            Just before I succumbed to my dreams though, I could have sworn I felt something soft and warm be pressed against my forehead. Or maybe that was a dream. 


	25. Traveling to SkyHold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happens to Ash and Cullen on the way to SkyHold... They get into an argument.

            I knew the journey wasn’t going to be easy. Or short.

            Just when I hoped we were getting closer to Skyhold, we had to spend another night in a spooky cave. If we were lucky. Most of the nights were spent in tents out in the open. I had to admit, the caves were cozier than tent sleeping. I knew the only reason I hated tent sleeping was because Cullen wouldn’t sleep near me.

            He would spend most of his nights patrolling with the soldiers. On the evenings where I could talk him into actually sleeping, he would either put his bedroll as close to mine as possible, or pitch his tent beside mine. I wanted to believe it was because he was watching over me. But it couldn’t be just that. Or could it be?

            A few more evenings and mornings came and went. On one of those days, when the sun was highest in the sky, something miraculous happened.

            Cullen and I started arguing.

            “No.” The Commander told me sternly. I let out an exasperated sigh. I had lost count of how many times I had huffed in the course of our clipped argument.

            “Cullen, this is-” He interrupted me before I could even finish my thought.

            “No.” He repeated, not even looking at me.

            I wasn’t sure if he could feel my heated glare at the side of his head or not. But it was relentless and angry. Cullen was being stubborn and short with me and I didn’t like it. We hadn’t talked like that to each other since I first came to Haven. I was riding Celandine while he walked beside me, his horses reigns in his hand. On the back of his horse was a woman, with a small baby bundles in her arms. The woman watched our exchange with a stressed look.

            “I’ll just-” Once again, he cut me off.

            “No!” His voice was more forceful. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. There was no need to hold Cela’s reigns. The Hart knew where she needed to go.

            “This is ridiculous, just hop on, Cullen.” I told him, not taking my gaze off him. I saw his mouth press into a thin line. “Don’t ignore me!”

            When I reached my hand down, I had meant to smack his shoulder for good measure. However, Celandine rose her height a bit, making my hand brush along his cheek instead. It was less like a hit, and more like a caress. That caused the flustered man to look up at me. I quickly hid my own startled look and straightened back up. For some reason, I couldn’t get the nerve to tell him it was an accident. When my hand brushed his face, I could feel the way his whole body was shivering.

            “You’re shaking like a leaf.” The Commander quickly turned his face from mine and tried to steel his muscles.

            “You- stay right where you are.” I told the woman gently as she tried to protest once again.

            “And you.” My tone turned fierce as I continued to argue with the blonde. “Get up here before you catch a cold.”

            “My Cela is more than capable of carrying us both.” I patted the Hart on the neck as I spoke her name. She neighed once before stopping suddenly.

            Cullen stopped as well, wondering why she had stopped on her own. Then she made the fluid motion of dropping to her knees. Her belly rested in the snow with her legs tucked underneath her. And her warm gaze was right on Cullen. Letting out another soft sound, Cela shook out her head.

           Without even asking her to stop, she had lowered herself enough to where Cullen could easily hop on her back. Cullen looked a bit more stunned than I was. I knew my Hart was smart, and could understand what I was saying most of the time. I looked behind us to see that the rest of our caravan was stopped, due to us blocking the way. I pointed with my thumb over my shoulder. When he saw the way people were staring, he took a moment to calculate his next move.

            A few seconds passed. Just when I thought he was going to keep right on walking and leave me in the snow, he handed the reigns of his horse off to someone and came stomping towards me. I couldn’t help the large grin on my face. I had won the fight.

            “Oh, quit being a spoil-sport.” I told Cullen as he swung his leg over the saddle.

            When Cela felt the weight of another on her back, she started the slow process of getting to her feet in the slippery snow. I half expected to have to hop down and keep her steady as she did it. On the first try, Cela grounded herself and we were walking at our slow trot pace. I reached my hand down and gave her head an affectionate rub. I felt her lean her cheek into my hand as I did so.

            “Much better than walking, isn’t it?” I asked the brooding man sharing my saddle as I straightened.

            As I leaned back, I realized just how close Cullen was. There was no space between our bodies. I felt his armor through my cloak and dress. I felt him shift, trying to do something with his arms. It sent a shiver down my back at his hips moved closer to mine. Cela had to walk over a stomp and, in the process, made Cullen lean heavily on me. To make sure I didn’t fall face first off my mount, Cullen wrapped a strong arm around my waist.

            Cela cleared the stump with no problems but, Cullen still kept me pulled close to him. My breaths came out harshly. My body felt extremely warm, even though I was pressed up against the Commander’s cold armor. Glancing down, I saw that his arm was somehow hidden by a combination of his pauldrons and my thick cloak. Just when I thought we couldn’t get any closer to each other, I felt a breath of warm air close to my ear.

            “Still wish I’d hopped up here?” His intimate statement made my cheeks flare with heat.

            I half turned my face so I could look at him. Even sitting mounted on a Hart, he sat a head taller than me. The sun peeked behind his blonde hair. It gave him the effect of having a halo. He certainly looked the part of an angel.

            “Do you?” I affirmed with a question of my own.

            Cullen just gave me the smallest of smiles and looked on ahead.

His arm stayed around me for the entire time that he rode with me. 


	26. The Journey Closes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are closing the last few miles to Skyhold but, that doesn't mean there can't be a bit of fun involved.

            “Ashlyn.” I turned to the voice that same from behind me. It, of course, belonged to none other than Solas. “We are close.” He continued in his usual monotone voice.

            “Really?” I asked, immediately straightening in my saddle.

            I had been spacing out while looking at the scenery around us. As much as I enjoyed looking at the snow, it all started to blur and look the same. Every snow covered tree looked like the one beside it, and the one beside that one was well. No one spoke either. It left an edge to the air that made everyone jump at the sound of a twig breaking.

            “Yah!” When I shouted at Cela, she kicked snow up as she started in the direction I urged her in.

            I moved around the caravans of people and got to the front of our traveling party where Archer was talking to Cassandra in a hushed voice. Cullen was once again walking as he discussed military rotations with a fellow ex-Templar. The other companions were scattered about but, all of them were towards the front. Solas must have hung back to let me know about our close approach.

            When I sprinted past, I heard a few chuckles. Cela took up a trot as she saddled close to Varric. The dwarf reached up a gloved hand and slipped my Hart a snack. With his other hand, he rubbed her nose affectionately.

            “Nice to see you too, Cela.” Varric told my mount who whinnied in response. He then turned his attention to me. “What being you up here?”

            “You should know by now, it’s the little things that make me excited.” I told him as he smiled broadly.

            “Like stumbling upon an abandoned castle in the middle of the mountains?” He stated and I nodded.

            “Like a place that isn’t a cave full of draclings and spiders.” I answered, sighing in relief of knowing that we shouldn’t have to spend another night in the middle of nowhere. Four walls, a ceiling and a warm place to sleep was all I wanted at that point.

            “Who says those aren’t going to be there either?” Cullen had now joined our conversation and was just trying to freak me out but I just brushed his statement off.

            “Not going to let your negativity ruin my vibe.” I told him as I stared defiantly ahead.

            “Oh come on, Cullen, there’s probably bigger things in there- maybe even a real dragon.” Our newest addition piped up as he rode up beside me on a mount of his own. How Dorian got a horse, I had no idea.

            Dorian had come to warn the Inquisition about Corypheus coming to attack Haven. From what Varric had told me after I regained my memories, Dorian was one of the ones who helped to pull some of Corypheus’ magic from me before I woke up after I broke my connection with Corypheus.

            I immediately warmed up to the Tevinter. It was hard not to, after all. His witty comebacks were welcoming during the harsh days. It took him some time to get used to me being a ‘Prophet.’ He didn’t believe that I knew the every move the Inquisition was going to make until I started to spew a few things that I knew about his past. He tended to keep me close to him from that point on. Most likely from keeping me from telling his secrets to everyone.   

            “Do you really think so?” I nervously asked, looking down at Cullen for some type of reassurance. He kept his face stoic as he watched the scenery pass ahead of us.

            “You don’t know the story of the ice-breathing dragon that resides inside the castle?” Varric decided to finally pipe us, his hand tucked behind his back as he leaned backward to stare at me with a serious look. The story-telling dwarf was _never_ serious.

            “What?” My voice came out more like a squeak as I gasped. Maybe I could fair another night out in the cold-

            “They’re pulling your leg, Ash.” I heard Archer say from behind me, already bellowing out a laugh as the others around me did the same.

            Immediately my face flushed from embarrassment. I had let myself fall for another one of Varric’s ploys. I should have known by the serious look on his face that he couldn’t possibly be serious, as strange as the statement sounded. I let out a huff and crossed my arms across my chest.

            “Jerks!” I shouted over the still loud laughing of the men surrounding me. Where was Viv and Cassandra when I needed them?

            “Your face was priceless, Sunshine!” Varric said once he was able to catch his breath.

            “I like that nickname.” Dorian mused from his mount beside me, nudging me slightly with his elbow. I gave him a small grin before dropping my pouting act. I couldn’t possibly stay mad for as long as they deserved the punishment.

            “Isn’t it fitting to our little angel?” My cheeks flushed again from renewed embarrassment at the nickname.

            I was also known as Andraste’s Fallen Angel. The person meant to lead the Herald on a path of faith. Or so everyone told me as they tried to worship the ground I walked on.

            “Oh, that one’s better.” Dorian all but cooed as he moved to nudge me once again.

            I pulled away from his jabbing range and grabbed up Cela’s reigns as the Hart moved us away from the still chuckling group. She lagged behind just enough that she could trot up on the other side of Cullen. The Commander was deep in thought when I finally piped up.

            “Everything alright, Cullen?” He turned his knitted look up towards me.

            “Fine- just fine.” He answered quickly.

            Clearing his throat, he looked away while reaching a hand to rub the back of his neck. Since I had regained my memories, we had a lot more moments like that. Where I would catch him watching me. Or how our eyes stayed locked longer than people normally would. I had the idea that something happened while I was under Corypheus’ control but, no one was divulging much.

            Varric specifically told me that Cullen hadn’t much else other than keep up the search for me. Not a day went by that rotations didn’t go out to keep looking. The Commander’s distress at my absence filled me with a warm feeling, along with guilt for feeling it in the first place. It sounded as if he had damn near worried himself to death over me and here I was, cooing like a school girl. What was wrong with me?

            “You can come up with your own nickname, if you want.” I said aloud after I tried to shake off my fangirl feelings. “Everyone else here seems to call me something different.” When Cullen grunted in agreement, I smiled down at him.

            The Commander took a second to think. I could tell he was really concentrating. He either had no sense of imagination or really wanted it to be perfect. Something told me it was the latter of the two.

            “Think on it, Commander, you’re gonna be calling me it for a long time.” I told him, smiling warmly at him as I saw we were nearing the top of the mountain.

            “There it is!” I cheered when we finally reached the top.

            I was off Cela and racing to the rock that was at the peak. I had to cover my eyes to protect them from the glare of the snow but, there it was. Skyhold. In all its beauty and elegance, it stood amongst all the snow like a relenting weed. One that couldn’t be brought down by anything. 

            “It’s beautiful.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around my shoulders as I released a deep breath. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Cullen leaning forward slightly to look at me.

            “What?” I asked without taking my gaze off of the castle that was about to be our new home.

            “Just admiring the view through your eyes.” My eyes snapped to his. Warm, golden and full of an emotion I wasn’t sure I was supposed to see. My cheeks flushed as I blew at a stray hair that had fallen on my face. I looked back at Skyhold with a small grin on my face.

            “And how does it look?” As I asked the question in a hushed tone, he took a step closer to my side.

            “Breath-taking.”


	27. The Inquisition's Inquisitor is Appointed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Advisors have chosen the Inquisitor, an obvious choice in Ash's eyes as well. Just a short lil snippet with a splash of fluff!

            “I can’t believe I get to be here for this.”

            “I just can’t believe it!”

            “This is really happening- right before my eyes!”

            I’d said the same statement, in different forms, over and over for the last twenty minutes. The first few times I had shown my excitement, the advisors agreed. After that, they just ignored me as I continued with my bubbling enthusiasm.

 “This is my favorite part.” I told Leliana when I saw her perfectly shaped brow raise in question when my whole body shook just thinking about the amazing scene about to take place.

            “Sorry- this is just a huge moment for me.” Leliana laughed lightly as I took a deep breath.

            “I’m sure it’s much bigger for the Herald.” Josie commented as she grinned at me.

            “That much is true.” I nodded in agreement.

            The five of us stood in a circle in the middle of Skyhold. I was between Cullen and Cassandra, with Josie and Leliana across from me. The breeze from the snow covered mountains was chilly. It had me pulling my shawl around my shoulders tighter. I wondered if I’d ever escape the cold as another burst of wind whipped at my lazily braided hair. Just as Cullen leaned over to me, I saw Archer across the way from us.  

            When Cassandra noticed him and motioned Archer over, I felt my heart leap in my throat again. _I was actually going to be witnessing this moment with my very own eyes._ I couldn’t help it as I excitedly started bouncing on my heels. Clasping my hands behind my back, Archer approached us from the doorway.

            We had decided that morning to appoint the Herald our Inquisitor. It was meant to be. He was a wonderful leader and a person everyone, including myself, looked up to. Archer had held us together during our journey to Skyhold. Even if I hadn’t known that it was how the story was to progress, it would have been a no brainer. Archer Trevelyan was just a born leader.

            As he neared Cassandra, the four of us slip off. Josie and Leliana went one direction while I stuck with the Commander as he began quietly rounding up the people around the camp. I couldn’t even form coherent sentences as I watched Leliana standing at the top of the second landing leading to the Main Hall. I knew in her hands was the sword of the Inquisition.

            As Cassandra and Archer came into view, I excitedly grabbed the closest person to me. Gripping their arm tightly, I continued to bounce on my heels as I bit my lip. I felt like a child at Christmas- all excitement kept trying to bubble out all at once.

            “Are you alright, Ash?” When Cullen’s warm breath brushed down my neck, a shiver shot through me.

            I took that moment to look down at the arm I was holding. Following the metal clad forearm up a set of strong, fur pauldron wearing shoulder, I quickly realized who I had latched onto. I let go of Cullen’s arm quickly and looked up at where Cassandra was talking to Archer. I hoped that the Commander couldn’t see my blush from that angle. From the snorted laughter that followed after my hasty retreat, I had a feeling it wouldn’t have mattered if he had seen my embarrassment.

            I momentarily forgot all about the close moment when I saw Archer take a step towards Leliana, and the sword. The bouncing on my heels continued. Hands clasped in front of my chest as I watched with baited breath for him to grab the hilt. 

            “Have our people been told?” Cassandra called down to Josie, who took a step forward.

            “They have. And soon, the world.” Josie said as the people who had traveled so far with us murmured in excitement.

            “Commander, will they follow?” The Seeker’s attention turned to Cullen as he then faced the crowd of people around him.

            “Inquisition?” He took a step from me as he spoke loudly. “Will you follow?” The excited chanting got louder as

            “Will you fight?” More enthusiastic shouting rocked through the people as fist started to pump in the air.

            “Will we triumph?” Another wave of praise shocked my ears as I grinned. I tightened the hold on my hands as I watched the Commander

            “Your leader! Your Herald!” Cullen unsheathed his sword and raised it above his head, facing our new leader. “Your Inquisitor!”

            As Archer raised his sword as well, the cheering became deafening. Spirits rose tenfold and everyone was clapping. Even Josie let herself go, releasing a loud cheer that caused me to laugh. I was cheering and clapping before I realized it, unable to stop myself from letting loose as well.

           Cullen’s eyes fell on Josie at her little outburst and moved onto me. He got the full effect of my happy smile, returning it with his own, slow forming smile. Like he really only started to smile after he looked at me. As I felt another blush creep up my cheeks, I looked away and up at Archer. His eyes happened to be on me and I gave him two thumbs up, not caring wither he’d get the reference or not.

            Our Inquisition finally had its Inquisitor.


	28. Settling In, Are We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian comes to see Ash in her new room she's claimed as her own in one of Skyhold's many chambers. They both make a shocking discovery about the scenery and Ash gets a moment of peace with the Commander.

            “How is it that you find the strangest spots to hole up in?”

            I hadn’t heard Dorian enter, or hear him creep up behind me. I yelped in surprise at hearing him so close. I had just set my folded dresses on the bed when he spoke up. I had just been facing that way a moment before. It was as if he had ‘poofed’ out of thin air.

            “Why, hello Dorian, it’s a pleasure to see you too!”

            “I heard about your little corner back in Haven. There’s plenty of other room to choose from, believe me. This place has rooms for days.” He nonchalantly walked around my room, running his fingertips over everything in his reach.

            “Says the man that’s taken refuge in Skyhold’s library?” I asked, leaning my hip against a space of wall closest to the window. Dorian just let out a grunt. “-And for your information, I happen to enjoy my new space. It’s got big windows and a beautiful view of the mountains.” I explained to him as I moved to the other side of the room. At the mention of the view, I heard him tread softly to the window.

            “Hmm? Did you say something?” I questioned when I heard him mumbling to himself quietly. A favorite thing of his to do, I had noticed.

            “I’m just curious, Ash.” Immediately I straightened my back as I turned to face him.

            “Oh no, I recognize that tone of voice.”

            “Did you choose this room for the view of the mountains-” As I neared his side, I saw him point a perfect straight finger out the slender opening. “Or the view straight into our handsome Commander’s sleeping quarters?”

            “What?!” My voice came out strained as I threw myself at the small opening.

           My shoulders just fit through them easily without having to twist. Hands clenched against the window sill as I leaned the top half of my body out the window. The view of the mountains was breath-taking. Snow covered and glistening from the sun. What I hadn’t realized was the tower just below mine.

           The tower with the broken ceiling.

           I could make out part of Cullen’s bed. If I leaned out a bit more, I knew I could see the entirety that was his small living space above his office. When I had gone looking for a place to call my own, I knew I wanted a place high enough to see over the huge wall. I wanted to be able to see the snow covered hills around us. I just climbed the stairs of one of the towers until I got to a high enough spot.

            “I-” I couldn’t finish my sentence. Even with half of my body still out the window and exposed to the cold air, my whole body felt on fire with embarrassment.

            “You don’t have to explain anything to me, sweetheart. I already know.” Dorian cooed as I leaned back into my room.

            I quickly shut and latched the window shut, swearing to myself never to open it again. So much for enjoying the scenery. There was no way I could look out my window again without trying to peek into the Commander’s room. I didn’t give myself the credit of having such a strong resolve. When my stomach suddenly growled loudly, Dorian laughed while wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

            “Come on, let’s feed the dragon that’s taken over your stomach.” The amusement hadn’t left his tone as he pulled me from my half put together room and towards the stairs.

            He changed the topic to a book that he had already finished about a former King of Fereldan. He knew how much I enjoyed hearing about the things he read. I pushed open the door that lead to the lower courtyard as I hung on every word he said. Dorian was just getting to a good spot when I caught a flash of the sun shining off something shiny. I immediately zeroed in on it and momentarily forgot about the mage behind me.

           Cullen was talking to a Templar with a scroll in his hands. The man he was talking to was jotting notes as the serious Commander listed and ticked things off with his fingers. A list of things he needed, perhaps? I couldn’t hear what they were saying from where I was standing but that didn’t stop me from glancing his way. When I heard someone clear their throat behind me, I turned to face them. Dorian’s mustache was pulled tight as he grinned a sly smile.

            “I’ll meet you there?” I asked as I edged away, trying not to give him the chance to embarrass me anymore than he already had.

            “Of course.” He waved at me, gave me a wink and went towards the Dining Hall.

            I started towards Cullen. He didn’t notice me approach until I was just a few paces away from him. With a nod of his head to the Templar that was writing, he took a step towards me. Immediately his hand came up to rub at the worry lines on his forehead as he took a deep breath.

            “How goes the troop wrangling?” I asked, my hands laced together behind my back.

            “It’s going; although people seem to still be pretty shook up.” He sighed, even his voice sounding tense.

            “Having your home ripped out from under you is a shocking thing.” I reasoned as I looked at a few of the refugees attempt to pitch a tent. A mage went over to help them. “They just need time-” I started to say but was interrupted by Cullen turning quickly on his heels to face away from me.

            “We don’t have time to give, Ash. Corypheus could strike at any moment-” I closed the space between us and rested my hand on his arm.

            I didn’t even put enough pressure on him to make him stop but, he did anyway. Looking down at where my hand rested on his forearm, his eyes came up to look at me. I used my other hand to tuck a stray hair behind my ear and his shining eyes followed the movement, as they did every time I touched my hair.

            “And we will see him coming if he does but, he won’t.” I spoke to Cullen as if I was trying to soothe a baby. I felt his body relax a fraction as I said the words. “Trust me, he won’t be coming anywhere near Skyhold.” I added with a smile.

            “Could we perhaps-” Cullen cleared his throat as his voice came out raspy. His hand that wasn’t almost being held by mine wrapped around the back of his neck. “Take a walk later?” His voice came out a bit clearer.

            “I’ll meet you at your office just before dusk.” I nodded for good measure. The Commander nodded as well, a smile starting to play on the corner of his lips. “Have you eaten today? Dorian and I were about to grab a bite to eat; you’re more than welcome to join us.” I offered. He even looked about to agree when he turned around and looked at the table had had placed with a map of the area and a few papers scattered about.

            “Maybe next time, there’s still much to do.” Cullen declined.

            “Next time, then.” I glanced up at the top of the stone staircase that would lead to the upper courtyard and saw the sneaky mage openly watching our exchange.

            The corner of his mustache was twitching and a perfectly shaped eyebrow was raised as if to say _you’ve got it bad and I know it_. I quickly dropped my hand and put a step of space between us. Cullen didn’t notice me catching Dorian watching us and for that I was thankful. I knew that he would be just as uncomfortable as I was about it. I gave him my best curtsey and started towards the steps.

            “Ashlyn?” I was just about to step on the first step when Cullen called out to me. “I’m glad you’re here.”

            Something about how he said the last phrase made my heart tighten in my chest. His eyes locked with mine and I lost my breath for a moment. I was the first to break our spell when my eyes almost instinctively dropped to his lips, watching his lip scar as he started to smile. A real, sincere smile. I wasn’t sure what the sudden confession or the smile was about but, I wouldn’t openly question it to him. I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t enjoying the attention.

            “So am I, Cullen.”


	29. Oh Misty Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would have known that the Prophet of the Inquisition could play such beautiful music. And will the Commander finally make his move?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

          Dorian has somehow talked me into getting something other than my usual soup bowl with stale bread. I was trying to saw my teeth through a tough chunk of meat when I heard the strings begin to get plucked on an instrument that sounded like a guitar. I perked up, turning to the beautiful melody that the female bard started to play. 

        She started off humming to the tune of the chords until she started singing along. She played as if the lute was singing along with her. Using it to accent her own singing voice, the instrument sounded like it had a voice of its own. Playing with that level of skill required time and effort. I only dreamed to play as well as she was. 

“That’s a beautiful lute you have.” I spoke to the bard over the rim of my mug when she got to the end.

The woman smiled my way as she strummed a few haunting chords before letting them ring through the air. I could almost feel the music caressing my skin as I sighed out.

“Would you like to play, Milady?” She shyly asked, moving the beautifully polished wood piece towards me. 

I hesitated for a second, feeling my fingers ache to touch the instrument again. It was a 6 string, just like the one I had learned to play music on in the first place. It didn’t have any frets though, but I felt I knew the chords well enough to not need them. The clear polish accented the wood grain and looked worn down in the places she held it to her.

“N-No I couldn’t-” I was abruptly cut off by Dorian.

“Yes! And she plays just as beautifully as you could imagine.” The sneaky mage took the musical instrument from the Bard and placed it in my hands. 

“How did you-?” I asked, swinging my legs around the bench I was sitting on. 

         A few of the patrons around us had heard our conversation and we’re watching us. When Dorian handed me the lute, it seemed everyone's eyes turned to me as I positioned it on my leg. My fingers tingled again at the thought of playing again. It had been too long since I strummed on a guitar, and a lute wasn’t much different. Just a bit rounder at the end that gave it a unique sound. 

_ You were spoiled rotten and turned stale like all your plans, _

_ My tongue's acquired tolerance for tastes I couldn't stand. _

_ You've been stuck in a rut and a wasteland, drowned in swamps below your feet. _

 

_ So just trust me, you'll be just fine, _

_ I need your trust just for tonight. _

_ This is not a place in my head, _

_ Reach out your hands and tell me just what you feel. _

_ This is not just all in your head, _

_ Mind over matter makes these things feel so real. _

 

_ I can see the doubt in your eyes, _

_ You say there's no such thing as better things in life. _

_ Well, I must confess this is all too new for me, _

_ A whole new world, a whole new world to see. _

        You could hear a mouse scurry across the floor if I hadn’t been playing and singing softly. Everyone seemed to lean forward as they listened to me fill the room with a song I didn’t realize I remembered until I held the lute in my hands. When I finished, the chord hummed in the air. Iron Bull was up out his chair a few seconds after I got done. His tankard held above his head as he cheered.

“Play us another!” His chanting got the other Chargers to chant along with him. 

“I don’t think-” As I started to reject, half of the tavern had taken up the cheering as well.

“Alright, one more.” I chuckled, motioning everyone to sit so I could concentrate. I took them all a moment to get their drinks in hand before the whole tavern was silent again.

_Oh Misty eye of the mountain below_

_Keep careful watch of my brother’s soul_

_And should the sky be filled with, fire and smoke_

_Keep watching over Duran’s son._

The melody came much easier to me. I had played that song so many times- it was my favorite. It was haunting and related a bit to what had happened to the Inquisition so far. 

“No, no I can’t! I have some place to be-” I made another attempt to leave the tavern when I caught the shadow of someone standing in the doorway out of the corner of my eye. 

        It took less than a heartbeat to recognize who was taking up the entryway. The mahogany-brown fur that lined his broad shoulders gave him away. Almost as quickly as his slicked back blonde hair. The Commander had his arms crossed over his breastplate. His honey colored eyes were what drew me in the most. The way they were boring into my soul made my skin tingle happily.

“You should come play for us more often, Lady Ashlyn.” My line of sight to Cullen was broken when the bard stepped towards me.

“Thank you for letting me use your lute.” I said bashfully as I placed the lute back in her hands.

“It was an honor.” She smiled.

         I tucked my chin into my chest as I made my way to the exit. My shoulders were slapped as people thanked me for the entertainment. By the time I got to the Commander, my whole body was tense from the ‘rough affection’. Just when I thought I was out of everyone’s reach, another hand, larger than all the others, came down on my back.

         “Good playing!” Bull thundered behind me, laughing heartily as I stumbled forward. 

         I was able to catch myself before I fell down by grabbing the back of a chair. That didn’t stop Cullen from taking a step towards me with his gloved hands out.  “Are you alright?” I felt my face flush at his concerned tone. I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed that he’d caught me yet again being not so graceful or because of his velvety voice.  

         “Yes, Of course.” I cleared my voice as I glanced at him through a thick piece of my hair that had fallen.

         He moved out of the way of the door and used one of his hands to motion towards the exit. Tucking the hair behind my ear, I took the first steps out of the loud tavern. After I had gotten done playing, the usual rowdiness returned. I felt Cullen move around me, his shoulder brushing against mine lightly as he headed towards the upper wall. We were silent as we walked and it wasn’t until I had stopped to admire the snow covered mountains that glistened in the falling sunlight that Cullen finally spoke up. 

“You never told me you played music.” I took a deep breath of the chilled air before letting it out. A sudden gust of wind whisked my visible breath in the breeze. 

“You never asked.” I answered as I put the mountains to my back to face the Commander.

“You have me there.” He chuckled as he moved to lean against the battlement beside me. Instead of looking at the scenery as I was before, he was watching what he could of the people below us.  

        The silence that stretched between us was companionable. It was easier to just stand and enjoy each other’s company without all the pleasantries. He knew I wasn’t the smoothest talker and I knew he just stumbled over himself when the stake of the Inquisition was not on the line. We were okay with that. 

        “We have a beautiful view here, don’t we?” I said as I looked over the Main Hall that was bathed in both the falling sun and the fires down below. I heard him grunt his agreement as he nodded. “Is the tower to your liking? It seems a bit breezy.” I jabbed my elbow lightly into his, knowing he had more protection than I did in that area. That caused him to smile.

“It’s nice.” Was all Cullen said as he looked down at me.

That happened a lot as well. We would be talking about something, no matter how serious or silly it might be, and there would be a moment where the world seemed to stop moving. Our eyes would lock and we couldn’t look away.  All that I saw was him, the way his eyes roamed my face. How his warm eyes lit up when I worried my bottom lip as the intense looks. 

        Usually one of us looked away from embarrassment or would be called away by someone. However, there was no one around to pull us away. Cullen’s hand moved to the hilt of his sword and tightened considerably as I shifted slightly. The small movement brought us that much closer. I knew anything too bold would scare Cullen off. When he leaned a bit closer, I was the one left a bit shaken. 

“Can I walk you to your room?” The way his voice washed over me, the soft and throatiness of it hit me right below the stomach, setting it ablaze. 

Until I remembered that you could see right into the Commander’s room from my open window. It felt like someone dumped snow down the back of my dress.

“N-No!” We both jumped at my near shout. Immediately my neck, face and even my forehead heated up. “- I mean, I can get there just fine. Yes, just fine indeed.” I took a step away.

“Good night then.” He didn’t seem put off by my sudden withdrawal. More curious than anything as an eyebrow rose in question. 

“Goodnight Cullen.” I said just before I turned around to head to my room. Where I knew I would spend the rest of my evening berating myself for another missed ‘near-moment.’

“Sweet dreams, Ash.” 

        Pausing just before reaching the stairs, I faced Cullen just as he rose from his bow and headed towards his own room. I couldn’t stop the small smile on my face as I watched him leave. 

       The back view was just as good as the front. 


	30. Moves like Bruce Lee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is called down to the training grounds to deal with an issue. He wasn't expecting that issue to be Bull and Ash rolling around in the dirt. He also wasn't expecting to feel the way he did about it.

**~Commander Cullen’s POV~**

            People came and went all morning- swarming around my desk to ask questions and discuss possible defense options in battles to come. We had no idea what Corypheus would plan next for the Inquisition and I wanted to make sure we were ready for every possibility.

            As I poured my attention into reading a scroll a scout ran into me, someone else came into my office. I kept reading Archer’s report from the Fallow Mire. A rather dark and dangerous place he liked to frequent to train. He took turns taking his companions just to get a better understanding of fighting Fade demons of all shapes and sizes.

            “Commander.” I quickly finished the sentence that I was reading to look up at the scout. With so many faces, I was sure I knew the scout but I wasn’t exactly sure who it was.

            “Yes? What is it?” Still unsure what their name was, I chose the easy introduction.

            “The Inquisitor asked me to come see if you could handle a situation going on in the training yards.” Raising an eyebrow at the young scout, I dropped my letter back in the pile of one I still need to read.

            “What kind of situation?” My voice came out as a growl as I shoved myself from the desk. The heavy chair skid on the wooden floor.

            “It- uh best you saw for yourself, sir.” He said nervously as he followed me outside.

            As soon as I cleared the door, I could hear shouts and cheering. Looking to my left, I immediately saw people- mostly my soldiers- huddled around a pair of people fighting. One towered over the other. The unmistakable horns of one told me that the larger of the two was the Iron Bull. The other fighter looked smaller than the men surrounding them. My interest piqued as I headed to the lower yard. The closer I got, the louder it got.

            “Admit it!” At hearing the triumphant call over the rest, I almost paused. A woman. And I thought for sure I knew who it was. But there was no way-

            “Never!” Another voice yelled back with their tone almost laughing.

            “ADMIT IT!” The woman roared louder just as there was a loud _thump._ I had finally reached the crowd and was paving my way through them as the loud cheering turned to quiet murmuring. “I’m the ultimate champion, conquer of the great Iron Bull!” _I know exactly who that is_ , I thought hotly. I did one final shove through the thick bodies blocking the obvious fight. I had to stand there a moment to get my bearing on the situation. I felt my entire body inside drop to my feet at the scene.

            “What in the Maker is going on here?!”

            Iron Bull was pinned to the ground. His chin was buried in the dirt with his hands wrapped around a pair of legs just tight enough around his neck to make him unable to get out of the hold. A huge grin was on his face. The one with their legs around Bull’s neck was none other than Ashlyn Maddox. Neither fighter seemed to notice me as they both tried to catch their breath.

            “Ashlyn?!” When I said her name, she whipped her face to me.

            Crazy loose hairs framed her face as they fell from her nearly unbound braid. Instead of her usual plain dresses, she wore a pair of tight fitting training pants with an untucked cotton shirt. It was hard to tell the original color with all the dust and dirt stains. Ash was half propped up on the ground with the rest of her under and around Bull’s neck. My heart twisted almost painfully in my chest when Ash shot me a coy smile.

             Seeing her like that- with dirt caked on her face and in her hair, looking so disheveled with that shy smile.. I’d never seen her look more beautiful.

             In the moment it took me to distract her, Bull immediately flipped the tables when her pulled his head from around her legs and pounced on her. Pinning her hands above her head, he easily trapped her. 

            “Drats!” Ash cursed as she threw her head back in the ground.

            “Who’s the victor now?” Bull taunted as she made feeble attempts to get out of his hold.

            “Shove it up your-” She laughed but I cut her off before she could say anything vulgar.

            “Enough, both of you!” At my sharp command, everyone around them finally noticed I was there.

            My soldiers were the first to take off, thinking I would have their heads. When I got done with them they would wish I had. I walked the rest of the way to Ash and Bull just at the latter was pulling Ash to her feet.

            “Good job, Little Horns! You’re going to have to teach me that move.” He clapped her on the back but also steadied her as she stumbled. Ash waved after him, her unhappiness at losing obvious. Bull walked past me but not before muttering something softly to me. “Quite a firecracker, she is.” I couldn’t agree more as she started brushing herself off.

            “Ash, a word.” Her attention zeroed on me and my harsh tone.

            I quickly looked away from her face. I couldn’t get lost in those eyes. Not this time. Too many eyes. _And I had been so close to-_ I silenced the thought quickly _._ Taking hold of her elbow, I lead her down by the stables where there were less people. She didn’t fight me, just stayed quiet.

            As we rounded the left side of the stable, I released her to run a hand through my hair. I was angry and flustered. Angry that she would recklessly start a fight with a Qunari.

            Flustered that I was so attracted to her because she started a fight with a Qunari- and had the upper hand.

            “What were you thinking?!” I decided to go with being angry instead of pulling her to me and doing exactly what I wanted to do.

            “Did you see that hold I had him in? I saw it in a Bruce Lee movie once-” I knew she was trying to lighten the mood but I wasn’t having it. She needed to realize how dangerous that could have been. How quickly she could have gotten hurt.

            “He is three times your size and could easily crush you with one faulty move.” She started to interrupt me but I just kept talking. “Bull is a trained mercenary, and one of the biggest Qunari I’ve ever seen- what would possess you to pick a fight with him?”

            “You’re not even properly trained enough to stand toe to toe with a regular soldier let alone him. You’re too clumsy and never take it seriously enough. Fighting isn’t a game, Ash. Its life and death. And you are nowhere near ready for it. If you wanted to go horse around, go play in the stable with the orphan kids next time.” By the time I got done, I was out of breath and the guilt immediately set in.

            I had gone too far. I knew the moment I had when she physically withdrew from me. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes went downcast. As she moved to step around me, I wanted to reach for her. I wanted to apologize.

_I wanted to kiss her._

            “I’m-” Ash’s sweet voice broke but, she quickly cleared her throat before walking backwards towards the Main Hall. The guilt gnawed at me tenfold when she tried to smile at me. Tried being the key word because of how broken it looked. And I had been the one to do that. “I’m just going to go.” She turned away from me and took off in a brisk walk.

            “W-Wait.” I started to say but I knew she wasn’t going to turn around. I took a few steps from around the stable and saw her reach the bottom of the stairs. “Ash!” She didn’t even pause as I shouted after her.  “Maker’s breath.” Sighing to myself, I ran my hand through my hair as I my mind raced.

            “Trouble in paradise?” I glanced to the side to catch the Inquisition’s Grey Warden coming from the stables rubbing a stained cloth on his hands. Blackwall stood beside me and watched Ash glide through the crowds going up and down the stairs before disappearing.

            “You shouldn’t be so hard on the girl. Bull never would have hurt her, you know.” He continued to talk as he worked on a particularly dark spot on his palm.

            “She scared the life out of me. I feel like an old man.” Blackwall let out a hearty laugh as he clapped a hand on my shoulder.

            “The pretty ones do that to you.” He said as he continued to chuckle. “Give her some time, then go apologize for being a Darkspawn’s rotting ass.” Blackwall moved back towards the stables before I had the chance to say anything else.

            “She’ll understand.” Blackwall said over his shoulder just before disappearing through the opening.

            I looked back up at where I saw Ash last. _Give her time,_ I told myself as I headed to my office, _I can do that._

 Who was I kidding? It was impossible to stay away from her.

 


	31. Vivienne has found her Muse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their fight, Ash isn't sure what to do with herself. Leave it to Vivienne to sweep her up and comfort her until the Commander comes to his senses.

            “Hold still, dear.”

            Instead of straightening my back against her tug of the material around me, my hips swayed. Quickly, I obliged Vivienne’s request. I steeled my body as she held up different colored rope belts that could match the fabric that was draped over me.

~ ~ ~

            After getting thoroughly scolded by Cullen, I entered the Main Hall with my face ablaze from embarrassment. My eyes stung, ready to unleash the tears I barely kept at bay. I took a seat in the first chair I could find and buried my face in my hands. I didn’t even have the energy to get to my room before I started to crumble.

            “Is it time to start those dress measurements, Lady Ashlyn?” I started at the soft Orlesian accented voice that spoke to me.

            Before I could decline her offer, she grabbed ahold of my hand that was sitting in midair. Viv pulled me to my feet with one sharp tug. Half dragging my feet behind her, I knew at this point I couldn’t get out of it. As much as I wanted to curl up in my room and sob my night away at my own silliness, Viv wouldn’t allow it. When we reached her balcony sitting area that overlooked most of SkyHold, she turned to face me.

            That’s when I saw her face tug on a smile full of warmth. That kind of warmth wasn’t usual in Viv. A smile like she knew I needed a distraction. Slowly, a small smile grew on my face as well. Though I’m sure it was a bit watery looking with the tears still trying to swim in my eyes. Then she swept through a few chests before producing a few large bolts of shimmering fabric.

            “Pick any one of them you like, my darling. Tonight you are my muse.”

            ~ ~ ~   

            “I’m sorry.” I mumbled to her as I rose my arms when her hands nudged one of them aside to pinch a piece of bunching fabric. My side tingled as she used her magic to resew and smooth the fabric back into place.

            Ever since Corypheus had opened the ‘Augment’ part of me, I was so sensitive to magic being used. Especially when Viv used it so close to me, my whole body wanted to shake from the welcome touch of the powers. Like I craved it- like a drug.

            “If you say that again, I’m going to tighten this corset so tight you won’t be able to talk.” As she threatened, I felt the garment in question tighten a fraction. I wasn’t sure if I shivered at her warning or her magic.

            Just as I opened my mouth, I quickly shut it again. I caught the briefest of smiles on her face just before she moved behind me. She placed both of her hands delicately on either side of my hips. Her touch alone let me know that I needed to right my posture as she worked on part of the hem.

            “Good girl.” She cooed as she continued working.

            “What’s on your mind, my darling?” Viv asked when she saw I was staring blankly into the mirror across the way from us.

            _If you wanted to go horse around, go play in the stable with the orphan kids next time._ My heart twisted painfully as I heard Cullen’s heated voice echo through my head.

            “This dress is beautiful.” I stated instead, touching the fabric.

            The way the dress formed to my body felt like it was an extension of myself. When I shifted, the fabric seemed to move on its own to make it all the more flattering on me. It was a dark orange in color and caught the light like a shimmery suede. It was softer than any material I’d ever felt. I tried to tug the extremely low bust line up a bit but only made Vivienne tighten the corset back to keep it in place.

            “The burnt orange color brings out your eyes beautifully.” She complimented as she continued to circle me, the fabric shifting under her talented fingers.

            Seeming satisfied with how it draped me, the mage took a step back to look at her handiwork. Viv waved her wrist, using her magic to undo the tie at the end of my rushed braid. Like real fingers were scratching through my scalp, the hair unwound itself and rested against my shoulder. She reached forward, grabbing my hand and helping me step down from the pedestal I had been standing on to walk more in front of the mirror.

            The gown itself was sleeveless with the fabric meeting around the back of my neck before hugging my chest, nearly pushing my chest out of the bodice. It wasn’t too tight to seem obvious that it was in an attempt to accentuate my chest but enough to make them noticeable. My waist was cinched tightly with a corset back where it flowed freely from my lower waist down. That’s when the fabric seemed to have a mind of its own. Vivienne bunched parts of the fabric up to create ripples, making it look like liquid bronze. It was stunning.  

            “You are a woman who can look in the mirror and see just how beautiful you are, not on the surface but, deep inside you.” I watched Viv come into view of the mirror, pushing my chin up a bit with her delicate touch. I knew she was doing it to make me look at myself but I had a hard time looking anywhere other than the dress I couldn’t believe Viv had made. “You may not see it now, and you may feel a bit put down by a man-”

            I started a bit and caught her gaze in the mirror. Her dark eyes shone with knowing. She knew what had happened- yet here she was, wanting to make sure that I was alright. That soothed the ache a bit. I felt her grab one of my hands and squeeze it out of comfort. I returned the pressure, even pressing my other hand onto hers. Meeting her warm gaze, I smiled.

            “Thank you, Viv.” I hoped all the sincerity I felt in that moment were conveyed in my few words. I didn’t know if I could form anymore.

            “For you? Anything my dear angel.” Tapping my hand lightly, she moved away from me and around my back in a flourish.

            “Commander, what a pleasure-”

            My heart caught in my throat as I whirled around to see if Viv was pulling my leg. Of course the Imperial Enchanter of Orlais wasn’t kidding. There, in the doorway to Viv’s balcony stood Cullen. Looking as taken aback as I felt. “Isn’t this gown just stunning?” She turned back to face me with a wink.

            “Y-Yes it is.” The Commander’s eyes bore into mine as he took a step towards us. His gaze was so intense that I wanted to take a few paces back.

            “I’ll give you two a moment then.” Viv’s innocent tone didn’t fool me a she started for the exit. As a last thought, she leaned back into where we were standing and gave me a megawatt smile. “Don’t step on your dress, dear.” Blowing me a kiss, she swept from the room. The closing of the door caused us both to jump. Cullen recovered faster than I did.

            “Ash, I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” He rushed out as he took a step forward. It was as if he couldn’t decide where to rest his gaze- on the stunning dress, the obvious cleavage showing or my face. Lucky for him, his eyes met mine and seemed fully content to stay there.

            “I knew Bull wouldn’t hurt you, I really did. Just seeing you out there-” His hand raked the already obvious path through his soft hair as he let out a strained sigh. “It just caught me off guard- you scared me.”

            Cullen’s soft confession warmed my heart. Instead of stepping away from him like I had wanted to moments before, I closed the few paces between us. I reached out to his hand, holding it lightly in mine as I tilted my head back to look up at him. It was as if I had fixed everything in the world. I could see the tight creases in the brow unfurrow, worry lines wash away as I smiled slowly at him. He returned the smile just as timidly.

            “I’m sorry.” I whispered as I felt his grip tighten on my hand. “I’ll be more careful with my clumsy feet next time.”

            His deep rumble of a partial laugh was all I needed to know that all was right in our little world.

 


	32. The One who Flows Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions run high in the War Room, more so when Solas makes an appearance with an old Elvish book and clues to Ash's abilities. The news is hard for Ash to process so she tries to go to one of the only places she feels safe. But is it where she goes- or who follows her there that makes her the most safe?

            We had been around the War Room table from the moment the sun was at its highest until it was just starting to fall over one side of Skyhold’s wall. Several hours of fine tune planning. Every so often, when a topic became too boring to Archer, he would interrupt with the same statement. Each time we had a harder time steering him back to the points we were making before.

            A good bit of time passed since his last outburst. I watched him and waited until his stature changed, until he shifted his weight out of restlessness. His eyes would always cut across mine before he would say anything. It was like he was waving a red flag, announcing that he was about to try to pull us all back into the argument. Then Archer shifted from foot to foot more than once in a few seconds.

            “There’s no time for that, Corypheus could-” He had interrupted Josie yet again in the middle of her lecture on proper Orlesian court etiquette.

            “Corypheus is not going to attack the Inquisition here.” I repeated for the fourth time. It sounded monotonous come out of my mouth at that point.

            The first time he had brought it, I explained in as few described details as possible, about how Corypheus would not attack Skyhold. How he had never even attempted an assault on the stronghold. Then Cullen would make a comment about troops being moved around to ensure that if he ever made a move towards us, we would see it coming.

             Cullen had helped me each time to get Archer back on track. He always backed anything that I said in an authoritative tone that even the Inquisitor, leader of our cause, couldn’t ignore. I knew by the time Archer had brought the topic up for the fourth time, all of us were feeling a bit annoyed. I heard the Commander take a step towards the table as he readied for another battle of words.

            “Did your Prophet abilities predict you’re kidnapping, or even your ability to augment magical powers?” Leliana spoke up as all of our gazes cut to her.

            The typically cool-headed Nightengale looked down right frustrated. Her index fingers pinched the bridge of her nose. Her eyes were tightly shut and she let out a silent breath as she straightened her posture. In a second, it looked like nothing has just been amiss about the Spymaster. Her blue eyes met mine with no emotion.

             “You have turned into an unknown variable, Lady Ashlyn.” She said it just above a whisper, even though we were the only ones in the room.

             It still felt like I had been punched in the gut. My body turned rigid as memories started peeking through. Flashes of a disfigured being telling me things-whispering things to me. Things I could do. It was a dark voice, teetering on the edge of madness. I didn’t know I started worrying my hands until Josie sided up to me and touched my arm.

            “She has helped us prepare for everything that has been thrown at us.” Cullen stepped up to defend me, both in verbal form as well as placing himself between us. Not that I feared Leliana would hurt me. The gesture, however, made some of the tension leave me.

            “I’m not saying she should be removed as one of us.” Leliana quickly saw Cullen’s movement and put her hands up in surrender. “I’m saying she needs protected- guarded against those who might try to use her against us again.”

            Before any more deliberation could be done on my well-being, however, we were interjected by someone opening the War Room door. All eyes turned to Solas as he strode confidently towards us. He didn’t speak until the door finally shut behind him.  

            “I am sorry to interrupt.” Briefly the elf’s gaze met everyone’s but lingered on mine as he continued “I have discovered something.” We all waited on baited breath as he pulled a large book from under his arm I hadn’t noticed before.

            “I have spent countless days and nights pouring over tomes of old here at SkyHold and a few of my own trying to define what happened to Lady Ashlyn. I believe I have finally found an answer.” He kept talking as he opened the tome and started flipping through the pages. I saw flashes of hand drawn pictures and what could possibly be numbers ticking the chapters. It was on a seemingly random page that he finally stopped before looking back up at us.

            “I found this book here in the library, discarded beneath a pile of modern human history.” The Fade traveling elf sounded hurt and disgusted that the lost culture had been unwanted. He quickly focus to back to the task at hand.

             “It is in old elvish. There’s a good chance the previous peoples that lived here either had ancient elves in their care or the Duke who owned the estate enjoyed collecting novels.” His musings made me want to smack him with the book, my nerves standing on end. I was so ready for answers that someone else had to figure out without looking to me to ‘see’ them.

            “There is a passage inside talking about ‘One who Flows Magic’.” Even as he said it, I felt a chill pass from the top of my spine and shirt down the bones in my back.

            “That is every mage in Thedas.” Archer cut in quickly. He tried to peer over Solas’ shoulder to get a better look at the book. He gave up though when he realize that he truly couldn’t read what was in the book.

            “Yes- but this speaks specifically about one that has no magic of their own, only is able to make other’s magic stronger.” His readings from the book left us all speechless. My mind race in a thousand different directions all at once.

            _Someone with no magic of their own._

_But could still channel other’s magic._

_With the sole purpose being to make the mage’s magic more powerful._

_A hell of a lot like-_

            “An Augment.” I said aloud, wishing my voice didn’t sound so pathetic. I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself. The chill I felt before seemed to sink deeper into my bones.

            “Precisely.” He answered, not looking up.

            There was movement to my immediate left. Someone taking a step closer. I knew it was Cullen. If it hadn’t been because that was where he had been the entire meeting, I would still know it was him. The way he always stood close enough to defend me. Close enough to touch me. It charged my system in ways I didn’t want to think much on.

            “What does it say Solas?” Archer’s voice was harder than it had been before.

            “‘ _He who wields the power of the Devils in our Fade will become the Devils themselves. Flowing the taint through one which cannot hold magic will cause-._ ’” Solas stopped and furrowed his brow. Had he not read the passage before coming to find us? Was he not able to translate it?

           “Will cause what?” Archer pressed, as enthralled as the rest of us.

“‘ _It will cause the world to tear._ ’”

_It will cause the world to tear._

           The phrase kept ringing in my head as my mind started swimming with thoughts. Formally foggy memories started to become clear. Washing over my like a waterfall, everything started to fit into place. No- it couldn’t be.

           “What are you saying?” Josie was the first to speak up. Sounding distraught, her hand rushed to her chest as she looked around. “That Ashlyn-?” She wasn’t able to finish as the words hung suspended in the air.

_The ritual I was performing at the Temple of Sacred Ashes was to bring you here._

           I remember now. 

_But just as I pulled you through, the one you call the Herald came rushing in and ruined everything._

           I remembered everything. Everything about Corypheus and Calpernia. The torture, the forcing of magic through my system. Trying to build me up. Making me an augment.

           I felt dizzy. I needed air. The breeze coming in from the windows did nothing to ease the tightening of my throat. My knees felt weak so I went to take a step towards the table. It caused my head to spin even more and nearly fell over. I needed out of this room.

          “I-I have to go.” I whispered as I collected myself enough to stand on my own.

          In a spurt of energy I didn’t have a moment before, I grabbed the hem of my dress and made for the door before anyone could stop me. Throwing my weight into it, I launched myself out and into the hallway. I kept going even as I heard the door open behind me and footsteps rush to catch up. At this time of day, I knew where to go. No one would be there. I could breathe.

          I darted through Josephine’s office and through two more doors before getting to the Great Hall. In front of me was Archer’s Inquisition styled throne. I had once been tempted to sit in it just to see how comfortable it was. But not now.

          Still running, I veered to the right and then another when I came to the door that would lead me to my solace. I ripped it open and stumbled when my slipper caught on the ledge of the doorway. It wasn’t until my feet hit the grass of the garden that I slowed down.

            At Archer’s insistence, I had decided to turn the garden into a place to grow herbs. Things he and the others would need when going to explore new lands and fight battles. Elfroot grew in prominence but Archer tended to bring the gardeners new seeds each time he came back. We had a wide variety of herbs.

            Around the gazebo in the center of the garden were some of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen. They all swayed in the wind, making their delightful fragrance fill the garden day and night. I had just stepped into the gazebo when the door I had just come through burst open. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

            “Ash?” Cullen’s soft voice was closer than I thought as I still hadn’t turned to face him.

            I didn’t know if I could. What if he hated me? Blamed me for everything? Could I live with being his enemy again? Right away I knew the answer to that. Now that I knew what a perfectly brilliant person he was- I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he truly couldn’t stand me.

            “I caused the Rift in the sky, didn’t I?” I choked out as I leaned against the stone railing. The tears already flooded over the edge and were racing down my face in hot trails. “This is all my fault.” I sobbed as I felt my legs grow weak again.

            “You didn’t do this.” He sounded sincere. Could it be a ploy? A trick to get me to trust him. “You had nothing to do with this.”

            “How can you honestly believe that after what you just heard?” Anger at myself made me lash out at him and I instantly regretted it. If this was going to be our last conversation together, I didn’t want to remember it fogged in resentment.

            “Corypheus spoke about what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. About what he was doing there.” I didn’t know what made me tell him. I still wasn’t sure if they were my true memories or not.

            “Why didn’t you say something?” Now he sounded hurt. I wanted to face him. I wanted to look into his golden eyes and have them reassure me with just their warmth alone.

            “My memories from when I was taken are so foggy- I wasn’t sure what was real or not. Solas finding that just proves what I feared all along.” I admitted as I pushed one of my hands through my hair.

            “I did this.” The brokenness of my voice sounded awful, even in my ears.

            The movement was so fast that I hadn’t even heard him shift closer to me. His gloved hand grabbed my upper arm. It caused me to turn around, I braced myself for his anger. Cullen’s free hand wrapped around my waist while the one on my arm moved up my shoulder blades. Feeling his hands move across the fabric of my dress made me shiver.

            Then he pulled me tight to him. The side of his chin was pressed against my head. His gloved palm that was pressed into my shoulders started rubbing a rhythmic circle. Cullen was hugging me. He wasn’t yelling at me, he wasn’t accusing me of trickery. He had me so close to him that his warmth and scent surrounded me.

            “Ashlyn. You didn’t do this.” I was still so stunned at the turn of events that I had barely heard him say anything over the whirring of my own thoughts. 

            “Corypheus, the Red Templars, Venatori- they did this.” As he listed off the things standing against us, he pulled me back from him enough to wipe away my tears. I was able to just start to make out his handsome face through the tears. His gaze locked with mine as he went on.

            “A woman ripped from her time, who has helped save thousands of lives. A woman I have seen on more than one occasion give up her own meal so a family had a full stomach at night.” I felt a blush creep up my neck. I hadn’t thought anyone noticed when I slipped my bowl to one of the smaller kids. When I felt a finger push some of my hair behind my ear, I focused back on Cullen.

            “You did not cause this.”

            The emotions that rushed through me all at once were over whelming. I felt relieved, safe and scared but not alone. Cullen wasn’t angry with me. I worried over the future but, I knew I wouldn’t be facing it by myself. I had the Inquisition, the people walking the Lower Yard and those in the castle. I had the aide of the companion who stood at Archer’s side. I had the advisors I worked closely with every day. But now, more so than anything, I knew I had what I needed more than I needed to breathe.

            “Hush, not another word about it. I’m not going anywhere.” He soothed me as I got lost in his eyes, his sincerity. Everything that was the Commander.

            I had Cullen still at my side. The tears fell for a whole new reason as I finally wrapped my arms around his back. Even with Cullen in full armor, I never felt closer to someone. When I returned his embrace, it was like he pulled me deeper inside of him. His nose buried into my hair and he took slow, deep breaths. He held me up as I lost all the strength in my body and just let myself cry.

            I flipped my face so his chin would rest against my forehead. I thought for sure he would move away. This had to be the closest we had ever been, if not the longest time we had been this close together. I knew one thing- I wasn’t going anywhere. When he moved his chin lower and pressed his lips to the edge of my hairline, I knew he wasn’t either.

            Suddenly he started to sway us. I heard his chest start to rumble as he began humming a tune I hadn’t heard before. It was slow and easy, one I could definitely get lost in. He was dancing with me in my favorite spot, humming his own tune to calm me down. My heart swelled ten-fold.

            When his hand on my upper back moved, I thought he was going to let go. I hadn’t expected for him to move it to my exposed cheek. I had a feeling that if I tilted my head up towards his, I would get more than a tune hummed to me. So I kept my face where it was, tightening my arms.

           “Thank you.” I whispered as I reached to place my hand on top of his as we continued to sway to whatever tune he hummed.

 


	33. Raindrop Fallin' On My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a crescendo as Ash needs to decide how HER future is going to go.

            Skyhold was abnormally warm on the day when I got out of bed with the thought of needing some fresh air. Air from the trees that surrounded our strong hold. A breeze that wouldn’t cut through my bones from the high altitude. Freedom from being an advisor to one of Thedas’ strongest factions.

            Refugees and recruits alike came by the dozens every few days- we were growing well over the hundreds. That made walking down a flight of stairs a task. Everyone was trying to go everywhere at once. I felt like we were all sardines stuffed in a rock lined can.

            I dressed quickly in a tunic and pants. Most of the woman tended to steer clear of the items but it was hard to go riding in a dress. I tucked the tunic into the tight pants and slipped on my trusty boots. After I tied my hair back, I left my room. I rolled the sleeves up on my tunic just as I stepped outside.

            The day was so beautiful I had to stop to enjoy it a bit. Standing on the bridge overlooking the Lower Yard, I leaned against the stone edge and took in deep breaths. I closed my eyes, feeling the sun soak into my skin. A breeze came through softly. A bird chirped its morning melody in the distance. It couldn’t get much better than this.

            “Heading to see Celandine?” I smiled without opening my eyes, immediately recognizing the voice. The deep rumble of it made my heart tug a bit. Maybe my day could get a bit better.

            “That obvious?” I questioned back as I turned my face towards him. Opening my eyes, I smiled brightly at Cullen, who stood wearing his usual armor and pauldrons. His face looked a bit flushed but he still returned the smile. “I thought about going for a ride.”

            “By yourself?” His smile fell a bit and concern set in.

            “I’ll be fine.” I tried to reassure him as he took a step closer to me.

            “Let me wrap up a few things here and I’ll accompany you.” He suggested.  

            “Cullen, I couldn’t ask you-” I started to reject but he quickly interrupted me with a small smile.

            “You didn’t- I’m insisting.” My chest tightened as his hand reached out to brush against mine. Our gazes locked as I tried to fight the blush creeping up my neck at an alarming rate.

            After Solas had told us the news about my Augment abilities, Cullen had been the one to race after me. He held me, swayed us to the hum of his own tune until I had let out everything I was feeling. Not once did he say anything. He would just tighten his hold on me and keep us moving. It took a long time for my body to let everything go.

            When I was finally spent, I was so exhausted that I could barely stand. Cullen just wrapped one of his arms around my back and half led- half dragged me back to my room. Once there, he made sure that I got inside and tucked into bed. My head hit the pillow and I was already dreaming. At least it felt like a dream when his lips kissed my cheek.

           “Then I’ll meet you at the stables.” I hadn’t meant to sound so breathless. Something more was blossoming between us- I could feel it and I knew he could too. His soft smile at my tone spoke volumes.

           Cullen turned away first, not before tightening his hold on my hand before letting go altogether. I stood there for a moment, attempting to collect myself. After waiting a few moments for the blush to fade, I made my way to the stables. Back inside the tower and down the stairs. Going through the Main Hall was a nightmare, trying to avoid getting ran over by a maid or rushing children.

            Once outside the Hall, it was still crowded but much easier to get around the bustling people. The closer I got to the stables though, the less people that were moving about. I was hit with the smell of horses and hay as soon as I stepped through the door. It was easy to spot Cela. Not only were her antlers a giveaway but, she whinnied excitedly at the sight of me.

            I cooed and rubbed her nose for a few moments before reaching for a brush hanging nearby. Stepping into her pin, I started the slow process of brushing her. I talked softly to her as I did. She always seemed like she was listening and even made a noise from time to time when the conversation called for it.

            “Ash?” Jumping slightly, I turned around just in time to see someone step into the stables doorway.

            “Archer?” I recognized his voice but I still called out to him. When he neared Cela’s stall, his face broke out into a wide smile. “Is there something I can help you with?” I asked as his bright green eyes seemed to glow in the dim light.

            “I just wanted to talk to you in private.” He said simply. He tucked his arms behind him as he watched me continue to brush my Hart.

            “I’m sure Celandine won’t tell your dark secrets.” At the mention of her name, Cela whinnied softly. Both Archer and I chuckled lightly at her as I rubbed the side of her neck. With a mischievous smile, I leaned towards him.

            “Unless you don’t want the other mount’s to know.” We shared another laugh, his more robust than mine. “What can I do for you?” I asked once our laughs died down a bit.

            Archer reached a hand towards me at the same time a clap of thunder sounded in the distance. Could the bright day be turning sour so soon? I placed my hand in his as he guided me out of the pin and towards the exit of the barn. He seemed tense. Like something was just brewing under the surface. Archer’s grip tightened on my hand a moment before he stopped walking.

            “There’s something I’ve been fighting with myself to tell you.” My stomach dropped as his confidently suggestive tone washed over me. _Please Maker, don’t let him do what I think he’s going to do._ I told myself as he gained his words. I refused to look at him.

            “Since the moment you fell into our world, you’ve turned it upside down. You helped a group of people who first thought you were a criminal spy and gained our trust with, not only your special abilities-” Turning me to face him, he reached up and tucked a piece of my hair that had fallen from the tie. “But your beauty.” His eyes seemed to be brighter than they had moments before. Was it the Mark? Or something else?

            “Archer-” I felt my throat start to close up at how he was steering the conversation.

            “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the honor to lay eyes on.” His gaze froze me to my spot. “You’re the definition of joy wrapped up into a small, but perfect, woman. So much happiness in one being should be a crime.” His fingers worked their way through mine, lacing them together. His grip was tight while mine was slack. “The perfect crime.”

            His words were sweet, spoken like a man who knew how to woo a woman. How and what he said wasn’t the reason I wasn’t putty in his hands. It was because the sweet words Archer Trevelyan has just said were words I wanted to hear from someone else. Someone who told me he would be here any moment.

            “I’ve left you speechless again. Let me show you then.” Archer took my moment of silence as a good sign as he closed the space between us. I felt my skin bristle as his Mark touched my arm. His face came closer to mine as he started to close the distance between us even more. My heart raced as I tried to think of a plan.

            “Inquisitor!” _Some plan_ , I winced at the same moment Archer leaned his face away from mine. I hadn’t meant to shout but, the anxiety I felt about the situation wouldn’t allow me to talk any lower. “I am honored to be the focus of your attention but I can’t return your affections. I am sorry.” I rushed out quickly.

            My cheeks were flushed out of embarrassment while his face was quickly made unreadable. He stood as still as a statue as he held me in place. His grip on me tightened a fraction every passing moment. It soon grew to the point where it was painful. I tried to pull myself away multiple times but he wouldn’t allow me to go anywhere

            “Let me go.” I said as forcefully as I could. Taking a breath, I tried a different approach. “Inquis-”

            “Don’t call me that!” His straight face immediately turned fuming as he directed his rage at me. “Of all the people here, you are one of the few who don’t use that title to identify me.” I instinctively recoiled away from him as his tone grew. Either he didn’t see me flinch or he didn’t care.

            A quick glance around told me that no one else was around. Cela started to prance around in her stall as she watched our encounter. She could tell something was off but there was little she could do. Archer started to gather himself up for another verbal assault when a shadow passed across us.

            “What’s going on here?” I was never so relieved to hear someone’s voice. Not that it being the Commander had anything to do with it.

            For a heartbeat, Archer didn’t move. I’m sure Cullen could tell the grip on me was far from friendly. When he saw that he wasn’t making a move to let me go, Cullen took a few step closer. The movement caused Archer to release me and move towards the entrance the Commander had just came from.  

            “I’ll take my leave.” Archer’s tone was cool as he glanced at Cullen, giving him a nod and simple ‘Commander.’ as he left.

            “Are you alright?” Cullen questioned just as I heard rain fall on the roof of the barn.

            “Fine- just fine.” I knew I looked more shaken than I sounded so I turned my back to the observant man. Cela had her head dipped towards me, a sift whine coming from the back of her throat until I reached up my hands to hold her face to mine.

            “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt Cullen’s hand on my upper back.

            “Of course not.” I rushed out as I kept my back to him. It was easier to lie to him when he couldn’t see my face.

            “Why aren’t you talking to me?” He asked, sounding a bit wounded.

            “I don’t have to pour my heart out to you every time we talk, Cullen.” I don’t know what caused me to snap at him but his innocent question caused my anger to bubble over as I went into a heated rant.

            “I have been dropped into this insane world, joined an army, got a Hart mount as a gift, and danced traditional songs around a bonfire. I’ve been kidnapped by a God impersonator and turned into an Augment of magical abilities. After a long journey to a huge, empty castle in the middle of nowhere, I’ve been chastised like a child and-” As I ranted, I moved away from Cela and started pacing the small space that wasn’t occupied by Cullen.

            The entire time he watched me closely. Like he was waiting for his moment to step in and make everything better. I almost didn’t want him to. There was too much on my shoulders- too much trying to weigh me down. I just needed to get it off my chest.            As I got closer to the exit, the rain picked up into a thick downpour.

            “Now the leader of our entire cause is in love with me and I can’t return his feelings!” I stepped from the cover of the barn and walked right into the rain, not caring that my tunic was immediately drenched from the downpour.

            “This is _not_ how I expected things to go.” I mumbled, grabbing two fistfuls of my own hair at the roots, gripping tightly as I breathed. Cold water raced down my back, my boots filled with water. And I didn’t care. I needed to feel numb, even if it came from the cold.

            “Why can’t you return his feelings?” I heard Cullen ask from behind me. I didn’t have the strength to turn to him as I took in a shaky breath.

            “Because it’s not him that I care for.” My voice came out more as a croak as I said the words, feeling tears sting my eyes.

            “And it’s not like the one I care for would even notice that I do.” The emotion was thick in my voice as I walked to a nearby puddle and kicking it with my boot, sending water everywhere.

            “That I spend every waking and sleeping moment thinking of when I will see him next, what we’ll do next. What our first kiss would be like. What our lives in general would be like.” I spotted a large two handed building hammer leaning against the barn. The water in my boots sloshed around as I walked over to grab it. Throwing it onto my shoulder, I walked back over to the puddle. I was determined to make it feel even bit of the pain aching through my whole body.

            “Everything that’s happened so far-” I swung the hammer to the ground, throwing it over my shoulder. Water and mud exploded everywhere, covering myself and the barn a few paces away. A large splatter landed on my cheek and I made no move to wipe it off.

            “It just makes me so damn mad!” I yelled, slamming the hammer into the puddle again, making larger splats of mud cover my clothes. I repositioned to do it again and again, until my arms well off. Until I couldn’t think about anything anymore. But suddenly, someone grabbed me.

            More of a touch- gentle on my arm and warm against my bone chillingly cold skin. Looking up slowly, I dropped the hammer with a thud. My vision grew blurry with angry tears and rainfall. Cullen moved an ungloved hand to my cheek, caressing it softly. His pauldrons were safely dry on a hay bail in the barn along with his gloves. Water from the sky trickled down his face from his slick hair as he held my gaze, thumbing away the warm tears and cold raindrops.

            “Ash.” All my anger dissolved with his soft mutter of my name.

            That was it. I was in so deep that I knew I was never going to get myself out.

            I had fallen in love with Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition’s army, harder than I had in any game play through. This was different, he was touching me, skin on skin. I could smell his manly scent through the downpour. His lips were slightly apart and begging to be kissed. I wanted nothing more than to grab him by the neck and kiss him until neither of us could breathe.

            Calloused hands moved to the back of my neck, tilting my face towards his as his lowered to mine. I could taste his breath and feel his nose brush mine as my heart nearly gave out. His eyes held mine the entire time, dilated to the fullest.

            “If the man you care so much for doesn’t return your feelings.” His tongue flicked out, licking a large water-droplet from his lip scar, making my gaze drop to his lips. “Then, he’s a damn fool.”

            Then his lips finally met mine in a hard, molten hot kiss. I threw my arms over his shoulders and held him as close to me as I could. Even then, it wasn’t close enough as one of my arms wound around my waist and tug my lower body even tighter against him. When the urgency of the kiss lessened slightly, I shivered as one of his hands moved down my shoulders to rest on my lower back, pushing me closer still.

            I didn’t care that I was most likely getting pneumonia from the freezing rain, or the fact that we stood in the middle of Skyhold’s lower yard. I didn’t even care if anyone, even Inquisitor Archer Trevelyan was staring. All that matter was I was being kissed.

            Kissed by Commander Cullen Rutheford.

            And it was better than I had ever dreamed it would be.

 


	34. How to clean armor, of course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is to come after a first kiss? More kisses and armor cleaning, of course. Did you expect any less from the Commander of the Inquisition?

            “What possessed us to stand in the rain again?” Cullen asked, winded.

            We were both out of breath. Both from racing through the thick down pour to get to cover and from our stops to catch our ‘breathes.’ Which mostly consisted of every moment we reached a point of partial cover, we would be pulled to one another for another kiss. I felt like a love-sick teenager all over again. It was as if we couldn’t get enough of each other now that we had a taste.

            “You kissed me and confessed your undying feelings for me.” I half-joked, trying to ring as much water from my hair as I could without causing a huge mess.

            “After you did first, of course.” I caught the smile in his tone.

            “Of course.” I commented as I looked up at him. Sure enough, there was a smile tugging the corner of his lips. I couldn’t help but smile back.

            “Need some help there?” I offered when I saw him reach to unclip his bracers.

            “In a moment.” He hummed, sloshing over to a chest. I tried to keep the growing puddle of water underneath me to a minimum as I looked for something to clean the mess up with. I looked over at Cullen when I heard the chest shut. “Change into these, they’re warmer and much dryer than the clothes you have on now.” He walked towards me with a bundle of clothes.

            I slid off my boots and took the clothes from him. Our fingers brushed, causing electricity to course through me all over again. When the clothes were in my hands, his fingers trailed up my arm and towards my shoulder. Bare fingertips skimmed over the exposed skin of my neck as I tilted my head to look at him. My heart raced as I caught him halfway to kissing me.

            I closed the distance between us, unable to wait the second it would have taken him to close the space himself. This was a soft meeting of lips, unrushed and full of warmth. We continued that for a while before Cullen pulled back just a fraction.

            “Go upstairs.” He spoke against my lips. He sounded as breathless as I felt and after another press of lips, I turned to the ladder and climbed the wrung.

            His bedroom was as sparse as it always had been. A king sized bed was along the farthest wall with bits of dreary sunlight coming through the broken rafters. Even with the downpour still going on outside, no water leaked through the huge hole in the ceiling. Something that had to be with the help of magic. A few rugs were patched across the wood floor. I set the clothes he gave me on his bed before changing. I took off my top first, not realizing how it was clinging to my body from the rain. Knowing the rest of my clothes would be in the same manner of soaked, I stripped completely before grabbing the dry tunic.

            Instinctively, I pressed it to my nose. It smelled of him, like a musk you couldn’t ever bottle no matter how long you worked at the formula. A chill raced through me so I quickly dressed. Pulling my hair down from the sagging ponytail, I worked my fingers through it as I looked around for a mirror to see how bad the damage was. I hissed a quiet curse as I caught my reflection in a dressing mirror close to his bed.

            Random hairs began to curl and frizz. I took a bit of water from the basin just below the mirror and smoothed the pieces down. On a hunch, I skimmed over the table top to find nothing that he might use for his hair. I quickly finished my own hair and caught a glimpse at the rest of my body. I looked like I was playing dress-up with my dad’s cloths, I was literally swimming in the tunic and the pants barely hung on my hips. Knowing this was as good as it was going to get, I grabbed my wet clothes and threw them down the opening before shouting down.

            “I’m dressed!” I called down the ladder.

            “As am I.” He answered as I put my foot on the first wrung to start my decent. By the time I got to the bottom, Cullen had gone around his office to light more candles.

            “I think you should let the builders put a fireplace in your office.” I spoke randomly, trying to divert the attention from me in the too-big clothes and sopping wet hair.

            “It would make it warmer.” Cullen mused aloud. “I’ll keep that in mind at the next meeting.”

            When Cullen turned to face me, I immediately was caught in the simplicity of him. I had always seen him in some type of armor, or even the underclothes of his pauldrons and armor. Seeing him in a plain tan tunic and pants that were rolled up past his ankles was a sight. His blonde hair barely clinging to the shape as it tried desperately to fall into his eyes.

            “Care to help me dry this out before it rusts?” Blood rushed to my face when I heard the tone of Cullen’s question. Damn- he’d caught me staring. I looked down to this hands to see him holding one of the bracers, along with a rag.

            “We didn’t ruin it, did we?” I asked as I took tentative steps towards him.

            “Maker no, it’s been through much worse.” He laughed.

Cullen quickly ran me through the steps of drying the metal. I watched his hands work the rag over the smooth metal. After I told him I thought I knew what I was doing, he handed me a semi-clean one with a shy smile before focusing back on the piece he was already working on. He was sitting in the middle of his office so I sat across from him, crossed my legs and got to work.

            We worked in silence, each taking a bracer and I was working on one of his leg pieces when I started to hum. It wasn’t a song I’d ever heard before, just a mixture of highs and lows that made it sound a bit like a lullaby. I set aside the leg piece and reached for another when I heard a sigh come from Cullen. Immediately, I looked up at him.

            “Am I not doing it right?” I asked, looking more closely at the piece of armor I had just finished with. I had watched him carefully, made sure I did the same movements that he did as he-

            “You’re doing fine.” Cullen chuckled as I worried over my work. When I raised my eyes to his, he brought his warm hand down on mine that still held the semi-dry rag. For what seemed like the millionth time that day, my breath caught in my throat.

            I sat towards him with the candlelight from his desk at my back. It bathed the Commander in a warm glow, making his already golden eyes shine with more warmth. His tunic was untied at the neck and showed his collarbone. He slowly pulled the rag from my hands and pointed to something behind my back.

            “I didn’t realize it was already nighttime, I should walk you back to your room.” He rose to his feet, offering me a hand up.

            “I had no idea.” I stated, looking out one of the windows as I put my hand in his. Sure enough, it was pitch black outside. “If you insist.” I sighed, making my way towards the clothes I had left near the door. I didn’t get far due to Cullen not releasing my hand.

            “Leave them, I’ll have them taken care of and brought to you tomorrow.” I turned to face him with a smile.

            “Then lead the way, Commander.”

            Cullen threw one of his jackets over my shoulders as he led me across the stone bridge that connected his office wing to the rest of Skyhold. The rain had stopped but the stone was slick and my boots slipped up just a bit when I took a step. When we got inside, he continued to insist on walking me to my bedroom door. We finally made it to the door but, neither of us moved. The silence was so long that I thought for a moment that he was waiting for me to go into my room. I reached for the knob but he stopped me.

            “Ashlyn, I was thinking-” Cullen moved so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face. “What we’re doing, it’s not very proper.” I recoiled a bit at his statement. I met his golden gaze with my own.

            “You think I care whether or not something is proper?” I asked with a bit of a chuckle. I quickly turned serious when I closed the space between us. Lifting one of my hands to his cheek, I rubbed my thumb softly across his light facial hair. “I’ve wanted to be this close to you for so long, don’t take that from me.” _For longer than you’ll ever know_. I thought to myself.

            “I’d never dream of it.” His initial shock at my statement subsided and he placed a hand on top of mine while wrapping his other around my waist. The air _whooshed_ out of me as I was pressed against his chest. This time, there was no armor to hide his sculpted body from my softer one. “Because I’ve wanted it too.”

            His lips came down on mine with a wave of heat so intense, I left my legs go weak. I moved my other hand to the other side of his face as he kissed me like it was the first time, or the last time he’d ever get to do it. When his mouth opened a bit to nibble on my bottom lip, parts of me clenched so tightly I had to choke back a moan. How long had it been since I’d been kissed this thoroughly? _You’ve never been kissed this thoroughly._ I sighed to myself. I broke the kiss, trying to catch my breath. Along with my racing heart.

            “Cullen-” My voice shook as I mentally tried to talk myself out of pulling him into my room. He smiled mischievously, as if he knew what I was thinking, and set me on my feet.

            “Until tomorrow.” Cullen opened my door before moving his hand that was around my waist to my lower back to guide me into the room.

            I waited until I couldn’t see his excellent backside before shutting my door and, without even lighting a candle or undoing my hair, slid into bed for the night still wearing Cullen’s clothes. One thing was for sure, he wasn’t seeing these items of clothing ever again.


	35. Morning After Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after... Oh, you thought I was being serious?

I awoke from a blissful sleep with Cullen and our day before on my mind. After spending an appropriate time squealing into my pillow, I got up to get dressed. When I folded his clothes I’d slept in the night before, I took another sniff at them. I sighed when I still picked up the undertones of his smell.

Dressing in a dark green gown and my hair pulled down from the braid I’d left it in the night before, I set out before anyone could catch sight of my silly grin. As I got ready, I formed the plan to get breakfast for Cullen and I and try to spend some time together before our duties pulled us apart for the duration of the day.

I nearly skipped as I made my way to the Inn, where most of the meals came from. I was met with the smell of fresh bread and soup as soon as I opened the door. I nodded and waved to a few people that shouted ‘good morning’ as I waved my way through the crowd of people.    

“Good morning, Little horns.” I heard my nickname, perked up and sent a mega-watt smile at Iron Bull. He sat at the bar, a cup of mead already in front of him even though it was morning.

            “My, you’re awful perky.” He commented, running a large finger around the rim of his mug. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the lip lock in the rain from yesterday?” I stopped cold from grabbing a piece of bread and quickly turned on my heels to face him.

            “Wha-” It felt like I’d swallowed my tongue as I tried to find my bearings. That’s when Dorian popped his head around Bull’s massive shoulder to speak up.

            “When’s the wedding?” A burning blush raced up my neck as I cleared my throat.

            “There isn’t-.” I tried again to speak as I grabbed two pieces of bread.

            “Oh come on, Sunshine, we all know.” Varric’s voice came from behind me. The dwarf circled and patted me on the arm. “News travels fast in Skyhold.”

            “What’s going on here?” I was both relieved and scared when I heard the Commander’s voice behind me. How much of the conversation had he heard? Was he embarrassed or ashamed that people had found out.

            “Nothing- we should go.” My voice came out as a squeak as I turned to face Cullen.

I shoved the food in his hands, turned him around and marched us both out the Inn. His look of bewilderment would have been hilarious had I not felt like a spotlight was on us. Everyone in the area was staring at us like we were fresh meat. Just how many people knew about what happened? I didn’t remember seeing anyone during the down pour but, I had been preoccupied.

            “Go where?” He asked, turning back around.

Cullen tried to stop me from pushing him, up until he heard the trio start to sing a wedding march. Then I could barely catch up to him when he turned tail and bolted out the door. I heard laughing after us as I picked up my pace to walk beside him. Without another word between us, we walked up to the upper wall that overlooked the path that lead to Skyhold.

            “Maker’s breath, how’d they find out so quickly?” Cullen breathed.

            “Our illustrious leader has a Qunari spy, a Tevinter mage and a story teller with plenty of contacts, you had to know they would find out eventually.” I grabbed one of the pieces of bread from Cullen’s hand and broke off a piece. “I just wasn’t expecting them to find out so quickly.” I said as I popped the piece of bread into my mouth.

            There was a moment of silence between us. Nothing but the rushing breeze between us as we quietly ate. He finished before I did but still didn’t say anything. The Commander shifted so his hands were on the stone wall as he seemed to be looking down at his boots.

            “Are you embarrassed?” Cullen’s sudden question made me look over at him.

            I set what was left of my bread on the wall, watching the breeze catch it before I could grab it and send it careening over the edge. I slid one of my bare hands over top of his gloved one and gave it a squeeze. When he returned the pressure, I leaned forward enough to place a kiss on his cheek. He quickly turned to look over at me as I smiled warmly at him.

            “Not in the slightest.” I answered.

            Cullen rose to his full height and reached for my waist when I saw him start to pitch forward. I grabbed his arms, concern replacing the thoughts of a good morning kiss. I felt him come unbalanced just before he caught himself.

            “Are you alright?” He didn’t seem to hear my question, his eyes growing distant.

When Cullen swayed again, it was enough to cause him to grab ahold of one of the stone pillars close to us. I reached up with one hand and touched his forehead. He was on fire, and sweat covered the back of my hand. His complexion quickly turned pasty as the symptoms triggered something in my memory.

            “Lyrium?” I questioned in a soft tone.

            “I’ll be alright in a few minutes.” My body bristled when he leaned his forehead on my shoulder. I could feel him start to shake.

            “Let’s get you to bed.” I rubbed his arms as I tried to rouse him with my touch and voice.

            “I’ll be fine.” He murmured in response. When I felt his body tense up from a wave of pain, I knew it was time to put my foot down.

            “No buts Commander, march or I’ll find someone to carry you.” The authoritativeness in my tone caused him to raise and turn his head just enough to meet my gaze. Gold eyes clashed as I moved close to his side.

            I pulled one of his now limp arms over my shoulders as I walked us towards my room. There was no way I was going to be able to get him up the ladder to take him to his room and the healer’s room was too far away. When I opened the door to where Solas spent his days, he was thankfully missing. I wasn’t sure how I could explain Cullen’s half-conscious state and my dragging him to my rooms in the middle of the morning. The stairs were a bit of a trial but, we made it to the doorway of my room before he nearly collapsed in on himself. I held him upright enough to get him to my bed where he fell in a heap.

            “Cullen?” I tried to get him to talk to me as I shakily removed his pauldrons and metal armor. I was working on the last buckle of his breast plate when I felt him stir.

            “Ash.” When I heard my name, I placed one of my hands on his cheek. It felt as if he had gotten warmer from the last time I felt him. “Run away, get away from the demons. Save yourself.” My heart pulled at his feverish murmurs as I moved to get a rag wet from the water I kept in a basin close by.

            “I’m here.” I cooed softly, kissing his cheek as I placed the cool washrag on his forehead. I waited until he settled before removing his breastplate and leaving the room. I left the door open and only went as far as the banister just to see if someone was close by. I looked down first to see Solas back at his desk, pouring over a book.

            “Solas?” The elf in question looked up from his book to where I was leaned over the banister. “Can you send someone to get Cassandra for me, have her come up to my room at once.”

            “Is everything alright?” He rose from the table at statement, as if he was going to find someone or go get Cassandra himself.

            “Please hurry.” I said as I turned to go back into my room.

            I shut the door and started to light a few candles. I flipped and changed his rag twice before there was a knock at my door. At that point, Cullen was breathing heavily and was completely unresponsive. The loud banging on my door startled me but I rose from my crouched stance to open the door.

            “Cassandra?” I asked as I stuck my head out first. She looked annoyed as I glanced around for anyone else down the halls. When I motioned her in, there was a flash of what I thought was concern but it was masked when she caught sight of who was in my bed.

            “He’s really bad. What am I supposed to do?” I asked, wringing my hands together as Cassandra quickly closed the space between her and the unconscious Cullen. She felt his forehead, checked his pulse on his neck and rose after her quick assessment. Then she turned to face me as I stood behind her.

            “Take a deep breath.” Her strong tone steeled my nerves a bit as I did as she said. “There’s not much we can do other than help him ride out the worst of it.” She stole a look at him over her shoulder before turning back to face me.

            “I’ll stay close by, let me know if you need any assistance moving him.” With that, Cassandra left as quickly as she came in.

            Several more hours passed. I kept changing the water on the rag every few minutes. After the first two hours, Cullen settled enough to where it seemed he was resting peacefully. An hour after that he stopped sweating and I placed a blanket over top of him. I had borrowed a book from the Skyhold library and started to read it by candlelight. I placed it on the bed and sat on the floor to read it so I was still facing Cullen. I was nearly halfway done with it when the bed pitched a bit. I didn’t think anything of it until a rough voice followed.

            “Ash?” I felt a hand brush mine as I snapped my head up. “I dreamed of you.” Cullen’s voice sounded harsh as he looked at me through half-lidded eyes

            “Not all of it sounded good.” I stated, moving from his side long enough to get him a drink of water. He sat up enough to take the mug to his lips and as he chugged at the water, I asked the question that had been stewing for a while. “Why didn’t you tell me that it had gotten worse?”

            “How long have I been out of it?” Cullen made an attempt to sit up so I put my book down to grab his arm, helping him sit on his own.

            “You didn’t answer my question.” I chided.

            “And you didn’t mine.” His quip was fast, causing me to sigh.

            “Half the day, I’d say.”

            “Andraste preserve me, I have so much to do!” Cullen stopped buckling one of his bracers when he saw the look I was giving him. With a sigh, he finally answered. “It started to get worse when we came to Skyhold.”

            “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to worry you.” He quickly defended when I rose to my feet, facing away from him. “You finding out in the first place wasn’t something I had much control over.”

            “Are you saying you wouldn’t have told me if Cassandra hadn’t?” I fired at him.

            I had spent the last few hours taking care of him, jumping up at every move he made and worrying sick over him to get that as one of the first things he told me? It hurt a bit and the sting of it made me lash out without thinking about it.

            “Yes, I mean- no. Look, it’s complicated.” He added more fuel to my internal fire with his stumbled statement.

            “Not from my stand-point, you either want to confide your secrets in me or don’t. You’re the only one that can decide that.” I shot back.

            “Ashlyn-” I didn’t have anything else to say on my matter so I stopped him before he could continue.

            “I have to go, there’s water there if you need it. You can go once you’re able, since you have so much to do.” I grabbed the book I left on the bed and set it on the bedside table.

            “Wait, I-” I didn’t stand around any longer as I moved to the door, stepped out and shut it behind me. I caught sight of Cassandra in the library as I passed it. She rose to her feet at seeing me.

            “He’s awake and fine, leave him be.” I told her in a clipped tone as I didn’t stop.

            “Everything alright?” She hollered after me when she realized I wasn’t going to stop.

            “Peachy.” I threw over my shoulder as I made my way to the entrance that lead to the main hall.

I had reports to do, maps to mark and an Inquisition to help run. Why did I think it would ever change?


	36. You Thought To Keep Me Away?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A title with a double meaning- things become revealed to Ashlyn. Both from our Commander and someone outside the warm walls of Skyhold.

            Birds chirped loudly from their spot on a tree limb right outside the window I was staring out. A soft breeze came through the windows that felt moist, signaling the possibility for more rain. I had a piece of my hair twirled around my finger as I half paid attention to the meeting with Archer, myself and the rest of the advisors. I tried to pay as little attention as I could to one person in particular, as it made my chest ache to think that we were in a bad place.

            “We are running out of room for the refugee’s.” Archer said as he continued to look over a roster of everyone that was living within the walls of Skyhold.

            “I still say we should clean out the catacombs-” Leliana was cut off by Cullen, who sounded tense as he threw in his opinion.

            “We will not subject our people to the darkness of underground.” He stated firmly.

            “Shelter is shelter.” Leliana shot back

            “What do you think, Ash?” I jumped a bit at the sound of my name but, turned to face Archer.

            “I agree with Leliana; the catacombs are underground but it will keep people from the cold nights.” I answered, not making eye contact with the Commander across from me. We had yet to talk to one another since the morning I left him in my room and that was obvious by the tension that grew between us as the week went by. “We are in the middle of a war, shelter is shelter.”

            “Lady Ashlyn?” I perked up at my name and look to for the source of the voice. To my left was one of our regular messenger scouts. “A message for you.” I looked down at his extended hand to see a folded letter.

            “Thank you.” I said, slipping the messenger a coin from the table top.

            As the other four people at the war table continued to argue about the catacombs, I examined the letter. On the front was just my name in simple calligraphy while the back had an emblem wax seal that I didn’t recognize as anyone that we had dealings with through the Inquisition. I slipped my finger under the wax seal and as I did a chill ran down my back. I chalked it up to the breeze coming through the windows and popped the seal.

            As soon as I unfolded it, I was flooded with visions. It was as if someone recorded their walk through a dense forest. They weaved through trees that were laded heavy with snow. A loud screeching could be heard and there was a flash of movement. Then I saw _his_ face- Corypheus. It was as contorted and anger-filled as it had been the last time I’d seen him.

            Corypheus raised his hand in view of where I could see it, made a fist as best that he could with his clawed hand and grinned a sickening smile. There was no emotion in the gesture and the entire time the screeching never stopped. Just as quickly that the visions came to me, they were gone, along with the face from my nightmares. I snapped my head up to look around me. I was still surrounded by my fellow advisers and none of them seemed to have noticed my blank moment. The sudden feeling of being hot and cold made my skin start to clam up.

            “Continue without me, I have something I need to attend to.” I let out a soothing breath as I slid the letter into the sleeve of my dress for safe keeping. I turned from the table without another word, my braid swaying as I moved.

            “Is everything alright?” I didn’t turn to face Cullen or the rest of the group as they all grew silent.

            All I did was pitch my head in a single nod before slipping out of the war room. I heard no one from the room follow me as I walked through Josephine’s office and into the main hall. I crossed the hall quickly and slid into the door that would lead to Solas’ small sanctuary. I found the apostate sitting at his desk, his nose in a book.

            “Solas, do you have a moment?” I called out as soon as I could see him.

            “What can I do for you?” He didn’t look up from his book even as I neared his table.

            “Is there a way to trace magic on paper?” Solas looked up slowly, an interested look on his face.

            “Do you mean like a talisman of sorts?” When I nodded, he rose an eyebrow at me. “I can try.” I slid the paper from my sleeve but kept ahold of it.

            “If I hand you this and you see what I did when you touch it, you must not tell anyone else.” I held out the letter to him but, as he reached for it I pulled it away to get him to look at me. “No one.” I said seriously.

            “You have my word.” Solas promised, his hand extended for the letter. With a breath, I handed him the folded paper.

            For a long moment, Solas said nothing as he examined the outside of the letter. He spent an equal amount of time looking at both sides of the letter. Turning it this way and that in his hands, I started to pace. I examined the paintings on the walls more closely. The paint was old and starting to chip in places but it was intricate and stunning.

            “You saw something when you touched this?” I snapped my head up to look at Solas to see him watching me.

            “When I opened it- like a vision in my mind with my eyes open.” I explained, walking back to the table.

            Solas moved his finger under the already broken seal and I held my breath. Slowly he opened it, looking at the blank paper long and hard. I thought for a moment he was seeing what I had- would he be able to interpret any part of it? I had a feeling about what the vision was showing me but, I wanted a second opinion.

            “I did not see anything, Ashlyn.” Solas stated, looking the paper all over again. I closed my eyes and sighed.

            “I was afraid of that.” I breathed, reaching my hand out for the letter. Solas hesitated a moment before handing me the letter back. Another chill ran down my back as I gripped it in both hands. “Thank you for looking at it.” I turned to the door that would lead outside when Solas spoke up.

            “What did you see?” I stopped for a moment and half turned to face him.

_Should I tell him?_ I asked myself as I looked at him. He was a mage- magic was his specialty and his life. If anyone could decipher what the magical vision showed me, it was most likely going to be Solas. However, I couldn’t bring myself to involve anyone. Something told me that the vision was meant for just me.

            “I have to go.” I stated, changing my mind when I heard the rain start to fall.

            I made my way up to my room. There was a good chance that Archer, Cullen, Leliana and Josephine were still arguing about the same thing and I knew I wouldn’t be much help to them. I still hadn’t finished the book that I started when I was taking care of Cullen. At the thought of the Commander, I sighed. I slid into my room and leaned against the door. Maybe I should go find him, apologize for being a grade-A jerk and beg him to take me back? Not that we were an item to being with, at least not yet-

            “Okay, stop.” I shook my head as I chided myself for over thinking.

            I moved over to the bed, reaching for the book that I left on the table beside my bed and sat on the bed to read for awhile. It quickly engrossed me and before I knew it, I was closing the back cover. It wasn’t until I was done that I noticed it was nighttime. The rain hadn’t let up, I wasn’t tired and I couldn’t keep holed up in my room forever.

            So I did the next best thing, I snuck through the quiet halls of Skyhold back to the war room to look over maps. Once I reached the door, I peeked my head in to see no one else there. With a sigh, I moved into the room and shut the door with a _click_ behind me. I had just got done moving around the table to light the surrounding candles when I heard a voice behind me.  

            “We need to talk.” I physically jumped, dropping the stick I was using to help me light the candles as I turned to face the person who entered.

            “Cullen!” I placed my hand on my thudding chest as I took in a breath. “You scared me! Is everything alright?” I asked once I saw the state he was in.

            Everything about the Commander was impeccably in place, from his armor to his fur pauldrons. His hair, however, looked like he’d ran his fingers through it one too many times and his gaze determined. There was only a few steps between us, and Cullen started to close the space as he spoke.

            “I’m sorry about not confiding in you about problems with Lyrium withdrawal.” At Cullen’s statement, I looked down at my hands. Guilt ate at me as I blew at a piece of hair that fell in front of my eyes.

            “Don’t be, I should be the one that apologizes.” I said, raising my face to look him in the eyes. “That’s a huge thing to tell someone, let alone someone you’d just met. I shouldn’t have expected so much from you.” I admitted.

            “It had nothing to do with your trustworthiness and everything to do with my pride. I am the Commander of the Inquisition, leader of the military forces. I should not be crippled by such a fickle thing.” Either of us only had to take one step towards the other to close the space between us as he continued to talk.

            “Lyrium withdrawal is not a fickle thing, Cullen. It’s debilitating and you stand strong against it.” I reached through the distance to grab his hand. I was happy to feel his rough, warm skin brush against mine.

            “You helped me get through the worst of it.” He squeezed my hand as he spoke. When he turned my hand with my palm up, I looked down at where our hands were at. I felt him press something small and circular into my palm “Keep helping me.” I clasped my hand over what he placed in my palm.

            “Is this-?” I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence as I looked at my closed fist.

            “It’s not much, by any means, but it’s something I’ve kept close to me since my days in Ferelden. Something I want you to now have.” Cullen told me as my heart started to race. _I know what this is_ , I thought as my eyes started to sting.

            I slowly opened my palm to see a single coin sitting in the palm of my hand. But not just any coin- _the Lucky coin_. The coin that was given to Cullen when he left for Templar training. A Templar was never to take anything of personal significance with them to training but, his brother had given him that. And now it was sitting in the palm of my hand. Screw it if he was still upset with me!

            “Oh, Cullen!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck in a tight hug.

            He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around me in return. One of his bare hands went around my waist while the other rested between my shoulder blades. I felt his fingers brush the skin at the back of my neck, causing me to melt into him more. I gripped his pauldrons and sighed. He still smelled fantastic.

            “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed _you._ ” My heart swelled at his breathy tone. It actually sounded like he had.

            “I missed you too.” I told him honestly as we separated from our embrace. “I wasn’t even sure you wanted to talk to me again after my outburst.” I let out a small laugh nervously, moving a piece of my hair behind my ear.

            The space between us was filled with Cullen placing his hands on either side of my face, making me look up at him. His gaze was warm and full of-

            “It’ll take more than a few placed words to sway me from your side, Lady Ashlyn. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.” Cullen nearly whispered to me as he touched my hair to move a different piece behind the other ear. My whole body warmed- could he be any more perfect?

            I was still swooning over his sweet words when he leaned forward to kiss me. And, by the Maker, was it fantastic. His lips were warm and welcoming, making me reach for him. I ended up grabbing the front of his pauldrons, pulling him closer to me. Cullen obliged by pressing into me until my hips hit the war table. Thoughts of Cullen and a sturdy table made me grip him tighter as he nipped at my bottom lip. For a Templar, the man knew how to make me turn to puddy by his kisses alone.

           We eventually parted for air but he still had me pressed tightly against the table. His gaze was on me when I finally opened my eyes that I hadn’t realized I closed. There was a fire in his dilated eyes. The candlelight did nothing but make him look sexier as he moved his hands from me and placed them on either side of my hips on the war table. I wonder if there was anything nearby that I could knock off the table to rouse him into clearing the table top and-

            “There’s something I have to tell you.” I whispered, still trying to catch my breath from the kiss and my dirty thoughts. I had to tell him about the vision, what I’d seen. It could be important to the Inquisition but, just as I opened my mouth to tell him the door behind Cullen opened.

            “Commander?” A timid voice called out. It was a man’s voice and most likely a scout with a late-night report.

            For a moment, neither of us moved. I heard his hands grip the edge of the table and felt his sigh of a breath on my face before giving me an apologetic look. I smiled and nodded, reaching for one of his hands. It instantly relaxed as he moved it to touch my cheek.

            “Tomorrow.” I promised, giving his hand on my face a squeeze before he turned away from me and out the door to follow the scout.

            I stood there for a while, in the same spot as I tried to calm my racing heart. Tomorrow, I would tell the others of the vision. Tomorrow, and every day after, I would make sure Cullen knew how much I cared for him.


	37. Let's Just Call It As It Is..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is Ashlyn getting herself into? Trouble- that's what!

            The nightmares that night were the worst that they ever had been. All I could hear was Corypheus’ voice and screeching that made my skin crawl even after I was continued to be awoken from my sleep. One time I woke up when a demon under Corypheus’ control had lunged at me, creating a huge gash across my chest and when I opened my eyes, my chest ached. That went on all evening and when I awoke the fourth time in a cold sweat, it was nearly dawn. I had enough with my dreams and started to get ready for the day.

             As I sat at the small mirror in my room to brush my hair, I thought I caught a glimpse of something over my shoulder. Turning quickly with the hairs on the back of my neck on end, there was no one there. When I turned back to the mirror, I caught a tear streak going down my left cheek. I quickly swiped it away with my sleeve and stepped away from the mirror. _How did I let that_ thing _of a man have so much hold over me?_ I thought to myself over and over again as I left my room.

            I knew I had to follow the trail the letter had shown me. What other way was there to get answers? I couldn’t survive another night of nightmares like that. There were a few people up and moving at that time, mostly soldiers on patrol. I slid around them without so much as a glance my way. Mornings in Skyhold were the busiest and that took a lot of time and planning before the rest of the hold woke for the day. I hoped everyone got a better night’s sleep than I did.

            By the time I got to the stables, the stable hands were already getting to work grooming some of the mounts. I saw the large rack of my mount, Celandine, before I saw the rest of her beautiful form. She truly was a beast to behold and a being that seemed to understand me even when I didn’t speak to her. When Cela caught sight of me, she started trotting in step and nearly stepping on one of the stable hand’s feet.

            “I’ll take it from here.” I told the man as I reached for Cela’s nose.

The Hart dipped her head and took a step closer towards me. I whispered to the Hart as I stroked her nose, head, behind her ears and down her neck. Her large dark eyes kept contact with mine as she let out puffs of hay-smelling breath right into my face.

            “Good afternoon, Ash. To what do I owe the honor?” I jumped as Blackwall rounded the corner of the barn door. When he saw that I was facing him, he placed a fist to his chest and dipped in a bow, giving me a wide grin.

            “Good afternoon.” I smiled, taking a step away from Cela and curtseying even though I had no skirt to grab in my small dip. “How are things today?” I asked as Cela nudged me with her nose. I reached a hand up around her neck and started stroking her.

            “Very well, glad the rain’s let up.” He started closer, squinting up at the sun peeking through a hole in the roof of the barn. When he got close enough to look at me, he paused. “You look exhausted.”

            “I’m hoping some fresh air can help with that.” I turned away from him then as I rounded Cela to reach for her blanket and saddle that wasn’t far away.

            “You’re leaving Skyhold?” Blackwall asked, moving around the Hart to keep me in his sights.

            “I’ll be back soon.” I promised, going about throwing the saddle over her back after I smoothed the blanket across her back as a barrier.

            “Let me go with you, you shouldn’t be out alone.” Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Blackwall standing with his back straight, arms crossed and every bit of seriousness on his face.

            “If you insist.” I sighed, giving in quickly as I tightened the last buckle on the saddle. Just as Blackwall turned his back to me, I hopped up on Cela and touched her side. “Go!” I whispered to my mount. That was all the encouragement she needed to take off like the wind.

            “Ashlyn!” I heard Blackwall call after me but I was already going across the stone bridge that lead out of Skyhold.

            I had no idea where I was going, I just steered Cela a bit to the right or left when I felt my mind pull me a certain way. We kept up a steady pace through the snow covered path. With a sudden certainty, I stopped Cela with a slight movement of my heels. I looked off to my right into a relatively normal patch of forest. I knew better- this was where the vision was leading me to.

            Clicking my tongue, Cela moved to go down the trail. It was a little steep at first but evened out. I followed the path the letter showed me, a way I’d never gone before. I knew of it being a main trail for the merchants that came to Skyhold because of its relatively normal terrain. I glanced down to the snow to see a small trail through the snow that could only be done by something moving through the snow. I continued to weave through the same trees that the vision had shown me. I stopped Cela when we came to a clearing, my heart sinking into my stomach.

            In the center of the clearing was a Pride demon, lying in a pool of its black blood that was soaking into the snow. I slid off Cela’s back and rubbed her nose when she dropped her head towards mine. I felt her distress in her hurried shifting of her hoofs. I soothed her with quiet reassurances but kept my eye on the demon. It looked good and dead but; it was a demon. When I felt Cela wouldn’t bolt back up the trail, I moved closer to the body. Around the body was a wide circle of a trail someone had walked through- it looked to be skinny lines; cart wheels.

I saw no movement in its chest as I took slow steps towards it. There was so much blood around it, I was sure that it was dead. That didn’t stop my heart from racing or my mind reeling about the last time I’d seen one of these things; when Corypheus took me at Haven. As I got closer, I saw burn marks and stab wounds all over its body. I saw something sticking straight out of the demon’s chest. I had to nearly lean over the body to see what it was.

            A piece of paper was stabbed into the chest of the demon with a dagger. I ripped the paper from the body without removing the dagger and hurried back over to Cela. I immediately noticed the wax seal in the top right hand corner of the letter. It was the same as what sealed the letter that lead me here. Written in the same calligraphy style as the front of my letter was a chilling message.

            _You know why we are here, Prophet_.

            I felt every part of me drop to the ground as I physically swayed. Cela leaned her head down more and I wrapped my arms around her. She pulled her head up just enough to get my nearly buckled legs back under me. I then started to shake as my gaze darted around the clearing. I listened intently, trying to hear if there was anyone hiding in the trees. Nothing caught my attention- only birds chirping.

            Scrambling around to Cela’s back, she was already turned around and bolting back up the trail before I got my other leg over her back. She was going so fast that it felt like we were flying. Her heart was pounding against my legs and I wondered how much of it was her feeling my fear or her own. When we crossed the bridge across the large gap leading back into Skyhold, I didn’t dismount and Cela didn’t stop. It was as if she knew where I needed to go next and took me there herself.

            To see a Hart of Cela’s size charging through the lower yard, up a set of stone stairs and then around to go up more stairs to get me to the main hall wasn’t a sight normal at Skyhold. I just kept my head down and breathed; the anxiety of the situation had started to set in. The doors to the hall were open and she stopped just inside the threshold. I looked up to see every eye inside the hall were on us.

            “Sunshine?” Looking down to my right, Varric was at my side with a look of deep concern.

            “Can you take her back to the stables? I have to go see Josephine.” I rushed, sliding from Cela and nearly losing the strength in my legs.

            “Are you okay?” I didn’t answer Varric as I took off to the ambassador’s office.

            The merchant trail was the only way people with carts came through. There hadn’t been any new snowfall last night, so that meant that whoever had made the tracks through the had been recent. At least in the last day or so. There was no other reason for a cart to come this way unless they were headed for Skyhold and I had to know who was the most recent one. I reached the door to the left of Archer’s throne and threw the door open.

            “Josephine!” I called before I could even see if she was in her office. She had risen from her desk when she saw me coming around the corner.

“Ashlyn, are you alright? You look a fright.” Rounding her desk, she came towards me as I collapsed into one of the chairs closest to the fire she had going.

“Have any refugees come into Skyhold today? Merchants?” I asked, a bit winded.

“I’m not sure, I haven’t gotten a list yet from the soldiers at the gate.” She answered my question before firing off one of her own. “Where have you been? Blackwall said that you ran off when he offered to ride with you outside of Skyhold.”

“I’ll be back with that list.” I pulled myself to my feet and darted from the room before Josephine could hold me hostage and demand answers.

When I exited Josephine’s office, all had seemed to go back to normal. It had only been a few minutes and it seemed everyone forgot I had charged into the main hall on my mount. Speaking of Cela, it seemed Varric had done as I asked, he and my Hart were both gone. I started for the lower yard and back towards the gate I’d just gone through.

            “Milady!” A chorus of male voice pipped up when they saw me stalking towards them.

            There were two soldiers at the gate that morning and both were on their feet in a heartbeat. Backs rigid, shoulders tight as they saluted me with their clenched fists to their chest. I ran a hand through my hair that had started to get in my face and sighed.

            “No need to be formal, please.” I told the two soldiers as they continued to salute. “I need to see the list of everyone that has come through the gates that isn’t a current resident of Skyhold.” The soldier closest to the table behind them scrambled for a piece of paper and turned to hand it to me.

            “We haven’t gotten anyone new-” The one that had handed me the paper started to speak as I glanced down the list. They put an X next to anyone that came with a cart.

            “Well, there was that merchant wagon that came through late last night.” My gaze jumped to the other guard.

            “What merchant wagon?” I asked. He turned to look behind him into where we had made a small area for merchants to sell goods. Pointed a gloved finger at a cart that was still unloading goods, he half turned to face me.

            “That one, there. A small family that rode in with our Orlesian trader.” I was only half listening as I stared at the man, woman and two young children all taking turns grabbing something from the cart to set up shop.

            “Thank you. I’ll be taking the roster list to Josephine.” I grabbed the list without another word and started towards the family.

            The two children, both girls, shared the same shade of blonde hair that matched their father’s. The woman had raven colored hair that went to her waist and wasn’t tied back. All of them wore hand spun clothing with more than a few patches in them. When I got close enough, one of the little girls tugged on the pant leg of her father. He looked up at where his daughter was pointing with wide eyes.

            “Hello, milady. To what do we owe the honor?” He stumbled as he bowed to me, the woman scooping each of the girls up in each arm.

            “I was told you and your family came to Skyhold just this morning. Did you happen to see anything _peculiar_ during your travels?” I asked, watching the two adults closely.

At the word peculiar, the man and woman shared a glance that to anyone not paying attention would have been a look of question. However, sitting through so many meetings with Leliana made me a near master at reading facial expressions. They were hiding something.

            “Not at all, miss. Just some wild druffalo and plenty of snow.” He grinned at me when he focused back on me, missing a tooth on the bottom row.

            “Thank you for your time.” I gave a shallow bow as I turned on my heel and headed back towards the main hall.

            I passed a group of new recruits and gave them my name along with a simple set of instructions: “There’s a dead demon on the trail leading to Skyhold, best send a few men out to dispose of it.”

 


	38. Pride Demons or just Pride?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat is out of the bag and the advisors are not pleased. However, feelings are brought to the surface at the same moment plans are being formed. However, are these plans good or bad?

            When word got around of the Pride demon that had been found, everyone started to scramble. Cullen had troops rounded up faster than anyone could take another breath and were scouting the hills for anything else. Archer, Cassandra and Leliana were making sure that everything was in place and ready to make defensible if the time came while Josephine and I made sure to get everyone she could into safe places. I was talking with a group of people when I heard my name come from one of the soldier’s. That’s when I realized the cat was about to get let out of the bag.

            When word got around that it had been _me_ who found the Pride demon, that caused a whole new situation. Josie was the first to approach me, leading me by the elbow and a stern look, into the War Room. I was told not to move as she rounded up the other advisers. I had tried to sneak out once only to get escorted back in by guards posted outside. With nothing else to do but wait, I leaned over one of the maps of Thedas. Just as I readied a quill to write on the map, the doors flew open with a loud _bang_.

            “I think it’s best that you come clean, Ashlyn.” I winced at the severity of Leliana’s tone. I knew I deserved it but, it didn’t make it any easier to hear.

            I waited until everyone took their respected places before I told them of what the days following the letter entailed. Watching the different reactions made me want to stop telling them at the same time as quickly finish so I could just get it over with. Cullen looked the most upset, however, as he placed his hand in his hair and gripped the roots tightly. When I would look at him, there was a bit of anger and a lot of hurt in his gaze. It made it hard to look at him.

“Why did you not tell us immediately? Andraste preserve me, I remember that letter- you left right after reading it.” Cullen nearly shouted, running a hand through his hair that he’d just been gripping.

“I didn’t know what to think of it. I wasn’t even sure what I saw.” I reasoned.

“And now we’re under attack.” Cullen retorted sharply.

“We’re not under attack, Cullen.” I answered, attempting to blow it off in hopes that they would as well.

“I have to agree with the Commander. We may not have enemy troops at our doorstep but, they have made an advance at our defenses. They have made contact with you. That is still considered an attack.” Josie agreed, not flinching under my attempt at a hard look.

“A threat against one person is hardly an attack-” I started but, was cut off by Archer throwing his hands on the War table. I wasn’t sure about anyone else but, I jumped nearly out of my skin.

“Do you discredit your worth to our cause?” His tone was harsh and full of angry concern. “Discredit your worth to _us_?”

“You are just as much a part of this Inquisition as everyone else in this room and in Skyhold.” Leliana stepped forward as she spoke. “You may not be from our world, Ash, but you are one of us.” I let Leliana’s words wash over me as the rest of the people in the room nodded wordlessly. I had to look out a window to my side to hide that my eyes were starting to burn with tears.

“When you came back, you asked to see the log of people coming to Skyhold. Did that disclose anything?” Josie asked. I sighed, hoping she’d forgotten about that.

“Nothing definitive.” I answered vaguely as I looked away from the window.

I had tampered with the log before dropping it off to Josie, scratching off the name of the family that had come into Skyhold, telling her it had been a mistake. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to do it before I’d given it back to Josie. I wasn’t even sure now, days later and facing the people looking to help. Even after they told me they considered me one of their own.

“You think the person who brought that demon to our doorstep is in Skyhold?” Archer asked, his tone bristled.

“A Pride demon is too large to move on a single cart. I was thinking of who could have brought the letter.” I said.

“You said there were cart tracks, right? That means it could be anyone.” Leliana stated, sounding as exasperated as everyone else felt.

“Like I said, I have no proof but, I’m working on it.” I wanted to get Leliana and the others off the same trail that I had sniffed out.

“Not alone. Not anymore.” It wasn’t a request from Cullen as he sidled up beside me. I felt the brush of a gloved hand against the back of my palm.

“Thank you.” I whispered as the subject switched to the matter of our security. Tightening the gate searches and such to stop anything like the letter incident from happening again.

The meeting was cut short when a few scouts came for Leliana and Cassandra. I was the first to slip from the War room when I felt the brush of a hand against my upper arm. Even through my clothed arm, I knew that hold. The worn gloves with the firm hold. A hold I could easily break away from but, never tried to.

“Are you going to be alright?” I took a moment before turning to face Cullen, and his question.

“Aren’t I always?” I joked with a wink. “If you’ll excuse me-” I started to pull my arm from Cullen but, he took a step forward.

“Ashlyn.” My name was just above a whisper but, it caused blood to pump in my ears and stop my retreat.

“Cullen, I’m fine and I’m going to be fine.” I said lowly, reaching to brush at a piece of his hair that was falling to his forehead. He felt abnormally warm and his brows knitted suddenly. “How are you feeling?” I asked worriedly. All he did was grab my hand near his face and started to lead me outside.

“Don’t deflect the topic.” He mumbled just as we entered the Main Hall. No one paid us any mind as they were rushing around.

“Ditto.” Cullen looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. I realized what I said and had to stop myself from laughing. “It means ‘I could say the same thing.’.” I explained, feeling a burst of wind as we exited the hall and made our way to the battlements without needing to say anything. We just walked, hand in hand still, and it made my heart soar.

“No wonder I have a headache all the time.” I laughed, turning my face to the sun as I smiled. A sudden memory came to the surface and my thoughts turned nostalgic.

“My dad used to say that my mom used to cause him headaches, that’s how he knew she was the one he was going to marry.” I told him, still facing the sun with my eyes closed.

I took a deep breath of mountain air and realized how quiet Cullen had become. I turned my face away from the warmth and met a totally different warmth when I saw the warm smile on Cullen’s face. My cheeks flared when it dawned on me that he must have been watching me.  

“Sounds like a wise man.” Cullen mused aloud, reaching to push a piece of my hair behind my ear when a gust of wind made it go loose from the braid.

“He had his moments.” I agreed.

“You haven’t talked about your family since-.” _Not since Haven_. Cullen unspoken statement made me turn my back to the sun and peer out at the snowy mountain tops.

“Even though I’ve been so busy, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss them.” I admitted, blinking as my eyes burned with unshed tears for the second time that day.

“We’re you close to your family?” He asked, leaning forward to look at my face as I nodded wordlessly.

“We’re you- well, did you..” I looked over at Cullen to see a blush dusting his cheeks as he stumbled for words. “Was there anyone you were seeing _romantically_?” It took me a moment to comprehend what he’d asked me.

“You’re asking if I was in a relationship prior to getting here?” As I asked, I couldn’t help the light giggle in my tone. “I wasn’t.” I answered, making him let out a relieved sigh.

“What about you, Commander? Any pretty girls I have to beat away with a stick?” I spun to lean my hip onto one of the battlements as I pinned him with a coy smile.

“The Templar life kept me quite busy. I can say there hasn’t been anyone of interest for quite some time and definitely not anyone as perfectly troublesome as you.” When Cullen crossed his arms across his chest and gave me a megawatt smile, I was reduced to a puddle of goo.

“You keep this up, and I’m going to think you like having me around.” I joked, poking the middle of his armored chest with my finger. Cullen caught my hand before I could pull it away and took as step closer to me.

“That wouldn’t be a lie.” My heart hammered against my ribs as the way his voice grew deeper.

“When did you know you had feelings for me?” I asked. The question blurted from my lips before I could think it over in my head. We had just started treading into the waters of our feelings and I was asking him to dive in head first. Cullen grew eerily quiet as I tried to think of any way to rectify the situation.

“There were many moments but, the one that had me undone was when you came into Haven on your Hart. It was a part of you I’d never seen before. I’d kept my eye on you and held you at a distance up until then because I still considered you an outcast. You’d done nothing but show me just who you are but, I didn’t allow myself to believe that was who you were. I was waiting for the moment that you’d betray us all.” I appreciated his honesty, although it was no secret to me about his distaste for me when I first arrived.

“On that day though, when you rode into Haven with a laugh on your lips, the wind whipping through your hair. It was like I was looking at you for the first time. And it was the most beautiful sight I’d ever beheld. I knew I didn’t have a chance in the world to gain any footing without you at my side.” Cullen’s fingers brushed down my arms and moved to rest on the curve of my hips. “Who knew you’d be such a handful?” We both laughed as I moved to wrap my arms around his neck.

“Ash- when did you know about me? For your feelings- I mean, what you felt or-.” He was flustered and made a move to start pushing his hand through his hair when I tightened my hold around his neck, pulling myself closer to him.

“I could say from the moment I laid eyes on you but, that wouldn’t be totally honest. I knew I couldn’t spend another day without you after Haven, when we were on our way to Skyhold and I still didn’t have my memories. There was some part of my that was drawn to you but, I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just knew that I could trust you with anything. It wasn’t until after I regained my memories that I realized I fell for you all over again. I didn’t fall for you once, I got the chance to experience it _twice_. And, just for the record, it’s just as amazing the second time as it was the first time.”

Cullen pulled me against him in a tight hug. I was barely able to get my arms around him before he pulled away far enough to kiss the breath right out of me. He moved one of his hands to the back of my neck while the other stayed on my lower back. Yet again, I didn’t care that we were out in the open for everyone to see. The world could explode and I wouldn’t care, so long as I got the chance to stay like this with Cullen for the rest of my days.

_For as long as you both shall live_ , the phrase that suddenly popped into my mind caused my chest to tighten as Cullen deepened our kiss and every thought left my mind.

I didn’t even realized two pair of watchful eyes on us, calculating and forming a plan against the Inquisition’s Prophet.


End file.
